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Q&A: What’s a Bottom to Do When a Top Flakes?

Q&A: What’s a Bottom to Do When a Top Flakes?

Oh grand-master of all unholy cum-union:

Pray tell how would you rule. I had a punk scheduled (known as a demon-fuck) who I have known since he was 18. He is thirtysomething now, hardcore bareback top.

Does one excuse the TOTAL FLAKING without a peep until three days later? Does one play hard to get or does one just keep the barn-door open for the damn fool to plant his seed whenever he comes through?

I would have written to ‘Dear Abby’ but the old lady might have had stroke…

Yours truly,

An unrepentant follower of the raw, fearless, guilt-free passion-of-the-flesh

P.S. Still desperately short of the multiple loads I had planned to take by now.

Bottoms Available at the Convenience of a Top

You are a bottom. You are available whenever and at the convenience of any top.

That does assume he is a true top — flake or not. A top must be able to …

  • Get hard
  • Maintain an erection
  • Fuck
  • Cum inside

Tops are not required to…

  • Talk dirty
  • Fuck in a particular position
  • Pleasure or get off the bottom
  • Arrive on time
  • Fuck hard, slow, rough or some particular way
  • Provide a minimum (or maximum) inches in an endowment
  • Provide any explanation of his actions preceding, during or following the breeding
  • Provide poppers, lube, towels, etc. or any accommodation for the bottom

You are a bottom. You are available only for service to and for the top.

Any other conversation is worthless.

Open the barn-door. The problem isn’t with the tops. It’s with you. That’s why you aren’t getting loads.

TIMFuck: Wade Stone and Jacob

Wade Stone is used to getting exactly what he wants, and his hook up with Jacob is no exception. Eager to please, Jacob readily gives up his holes to the dominant topman. Wade takes everything he offers — and then takes more, relentlessly pounding Jacob into the mattress and unleashing a torrent of sperm deep inside the kid’s guts.

Darkroom Etiquette

Darkroom Etiquette

To help those who have never experienced a darkroom sexual experience or those who need a bit of a refresher course, this is the guide for you.

What is a darkroom?

A darkroom is where no one can see. No one. Everyone is essentially blind because it’s so incredibly dark.

Why a darkroom?

In a darkroom, without the use of your eyes, you get the opportunity to allow your other senses run wild.

There’s a saying that people who are blind compensate with their other senses. Whether that’s true or not, within the darkroom experience, one cannot rely on your eyes.

This gives you the opportunity to let your fantasies, those things you can invent in your mind, to actually happen.

Who fucking cares if it’s real? Do you want a date or do you want to fuck?

If he feels like a 20-year-old, then believe he is a 20-year-old.

If the cock seems like it’s 10 inches long, then it’s 10 inches.

If he’s a muscle god who smells like a man, lick his fucking pits and enjoy.

A darkroom doesn’t get in the way of everything else, any potential turnoffs (like that ingrown toenail or jacked-up orthodontics) disappear. In the darkness, you’re fucking Dawson with his 20th load or getting bred by Brad McGuire (or whatever legendary top or fantasy top you can imagine).

How a Darkroom Works

The general effort is to make the room as pitch black as possible so that no one can see a darn thing. Of course, a little light will always filter in one way or another. And as your eyes adjust, you can usually make out shapes.

Still, the overall goal is to keep it dark.

That means, no matter how strong the impulse, do not pull out your cell phone and shine its light. It ruins the mood, destroys the fantasy and basically blows out everyone’s pupils, which have to readjust to the darkness.

There are three basic ways of entering a darkroom:

  1. Boldly walk in, not caring what you bump into.
  2. Sneak in along the wall.
  3. Hang around the entrance watching who enters then follow someone you like inside.

I’m generally someone who takes the stealth approach, feeling my way at first along the wall. This gives me a moment to listen and determine if there’s much action going on inside.

Bumping into someone will happen. It’s a fucking darkroom, so get over it.Take this opportunity to check them out. First with a light touch. Then, if they don’t push you away, keep exploring. Are their pants off? Is their dick out? Is their ass prelubed (or leaking cum)? Are they completely naked? Or does he feel like a wrinkled mess?

If he feels you back, he’s interested. If he’s not stopping you, he’s looking for some service.

It’s relatively a common sense situation, although I’ve experienced my share of trolls who cannot take a hint, requiring me to bail out of a darkroom. Generally, men cum about every 5 minutes, so if you leave the darkroom and return in 10, you’ll be in with another group.

To convey my intent, I immediately move my hand to someone’s ass and head to the asshole. If he’s got his pants on, I see if I can slip my hand down inside them. If he bats my hand away, I move on.

I also go for the most common erogenous zones, like the nipples. A little tweak will often open up someone to the option of a fuck.

Courtesy and Tips

Here’s what I suggest to make your experience the best:

  • If you are receiving unwanted attention from a troll, push his hand away — at first gently and then with force. If that doesn’t work, step out of the room (unless you’re in mid-fuck).
  • In mid-fuck, you are free to explore. Let the hands run over your body and don’t get all pissy thinking you should be left alone. If you wanted to fuck alone, you should have gone into a booth or room.
  • Moans, groans, grunts and any basic animalistic sounds are welcome. Otherwise, do not talk.
  • Turn off your cell phone ring and, for God’s sake, don’t fucking answer the phone if it does ring (yes, I’ve experienced it; some asshole actually got a call, answered it in the darkroom and proceeded to have a conversation; cleared the room out in seconds).
  • You will be touched and explored by strangers you cannot see. If this is an issue for you, do not enter a darkroom.
  • Bottoms, it’s quite preferred you be cleaned out and prelubed before going into a darkroom. Keep any lube on hand.
  • If you expect to be “safe” in a darkroom, go with someone who can spot you. One of the easiest places to stealth is in a darkroom, especially when things get busy. You can never really tell which cock is entering you. In fact, I’d suggest the condom Nazis to stay out of the darkrooms.
  • If someone pushes your hand away, consider it a polite way of saying “no thank you” and move on. Don’t be a troll.
  • If you’re not feeling the vibe, step out of the room for 10 minutes and return later. Generally, darkrooms turnover with new action every 5 or 10 minutes.
  • Sometimes you’re lucky to get a service-oriented bottom in the room, who will be naked or pants-down/ass up and allowing all cocks and loads. Be nice, don’t push, and take your turn. Don’t take forever to cum. Pump your load into him.

Hopefully this will all help make your darkroom experiences better. Please add your own darkroom tips below.

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TIMFuck: Sam Bridle and James Eden

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TIMFuck: Andrew Darling and Kenny Host

There’s only one thing Kenny Host wants and he doesn’t care how he gets it — as long as Andrew Darling’s dick is thrusting as deep inside him as possible, it doesn’t matter which hole Andrew is using. Andrew is more than happy to oblige, giving Kenny all the cock and cum he can take, shoving his meaty rod down the fuckslut’s throat and up his hungry ass as far as it will go.

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