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Q&A: The Truth About “Safe” Fuckers and Forbidden Pleasures of Bare

Q&A: The Truth About “Safe” Fuckers and Forbidden Pleasures of Bare

A note from Mark: I received this as a comment from a reader. I thought it deserved to be an entire post as I addressed it.

 

letter-qI am an exclusive bottom guy who loves bareback sex and loves cum. I tend to be upfront about it and what I want.

What I find from the tops (who want it “safe”) is essentially the same as the bottoms who want it “safe.” They never have condoms but insist on using them. Interesting when I start by proposing to use condoms, responses to my posts seeking a top is ridiculously high.

Then they never want to use condoms when we actually fuck.

On the converse, when I specifically advertise for BB only, I get far fewer responses. So what the fuck?

Do the tops who want stealth really just looking to get off on deceiving someone? I can play that game if that is what works for you guys. You seem to be turned off by the direct “I want your bare cock and cum in my ass.” But yet if I pretend I want a condom on your cock, then I can suddenly get all the bare cock I want. any thoughts?

 

letter-aThe answer is more simple than it seems.

“I’ve never done this before.”

“I’m a virgin”

“Just this one time.”

“Just put in the tip.”

Tops prefer bareback and I’d propose three out of four men fuck without condoms. Truth is, even when I get hit up, someone will say “safe only” to me only to learn I’ll only bareback. At some point, the horny bottom will decide he wants it too much and will ask me not to cum in his ass.

In the end, he’ll go home with a load in his ass.

The tops want the appearance that they’re fucking a virginal asshole without the risk of any sexually transmitted infections. You see, the condom Nazi lobby generated this impression that all that is bareback means it’s disease.

If you’re a bare-loving top who hasn’t faced the facts about the risks you’re taking, you think if you get a condom-preferred bottom who lets you in his ass raw will reduce your chance of getting something “bad.”

Of course, nothing could be further from the truth.

Barebackers tend to be in tune with their bodies. They know their statuses with any such stuff.

Other than chasers and gift-givers, true barebackers are among the safest to fuck. But many would much rather pretend.

It’s got nothing to do with stealthing. It has everything to do with deceiving oneself.

So post your ads for both raw and wrapped. Or don’t specify. And then given the choice, most will choose raw. If not, that’s when the stealthing fuck begins.

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The Eleven Commandments of a True Bottom

The Eleven Commandments of a True Bottom
(by a Bottom, for All Bottoms)

 Mark notes: I received this as a comment to my original post about Rage Against the Bossy Bottom Opens a new window from this blog. I’ve since also written Revenge of the Rage Against the Bossy Bottom Opens a new window from this blog with a few more things that bothered me.

I got a note from Ryan, a bottom who follows me on Twitter. After reading my Rage entries, Ryan had some interesting feedback. This was unsolicited and he provided it. 

I’ve posted Ryan’s proposed Eleven Commandments then edited them to make them sound more commanding. Bottoms just don’t know how to make things sound like it’s not a request or nice. That is, unless they’re a bossy bitch.

          

By a Bottom for All Bottoms

With Notes from Mark aka iBLASTinside

Ryan's Hole... the ultimate bottom's holeSorry about these experiences. It’s shameful, to be honest.

There are a lot of “bottoms” out there giving us real bottoms a bad reputation. This in turn makes it harder for genuine bottoms to do what we do best because a blight gets cast over us a group. Consequently, solid tops (and even versatile tops) have to play mind-reader games in order to figure out if the person they’re talking to is really what they claim to be (a bottom).

The guys you’re describing need to be honest with themselves. They aren’t bottoms, they’re versatile bottoms (at best). They’re holding on to way too many mental assumptions that do not belong to total bottoms.

Put another way, they’re thinking (at least in some vestigial sense) with the mindset of a top, and they can’t have it both ways. Bottoms aren’t — by definition — supposed to be bossy. That’s the top’s job. And you are rightly irritated when they step out of their role.

There are certain things one must mean when one claims to be a bottom. I call them my Eleven Commandments of a True Bottom. And since I am a true bottom, if you (a top) disagree with them, my job is to change them.

The Eleven Commandments of a True Bottom

1. If you’re going to bottom, come prepared to bottom.

Naked Man in ShowerBe clean, be committed, be submissive. Do not, however, be lubed.

 Mark notes: I believe a true bottom always strives to be clean. I have one bottom friend who shower shots when he gets up in the morning and when he gets home from work and, if he’s at home, right after every shit, whether or not there’s a plan for a fuck in the near future. He also carries a portable douche with him everywhere he goes. The idea being he never knows when a fuck might show up. He literally has an open-door policy (he used to sleep with his door unlocked so men could come in during the night and fuck him but after a few things went missing, he had to revise that).

Therefore, if I were writing this, it would be… Thou Shalt Always Be Prepared to Bottom

2. Why? Because the top chooses the lube.

It’s your job to bring some. But many discerning tops only want to use spit, so you may have to take him without lube and with more friction. Deal with it.

 Mark notes: I truly appreciate your approach here. Pisses me off when a bottom expects me to bring supplies (and I prefer spit as lube anyway). Further, I recommend the bottom provide all the supplies — lube, poppers, towels, etc. There’s nothing nicer than a bottom who gets me off and when I roll off him, he sucks me clean then he gets up, brings a warm wash cloth and wipes up my cock then dries me off. That is full service. I’d recommend the following selections:

Lube (each clearly marked)

Poppers (to keep fresh, please keep in darkness)

  • English
  • Amsterdam
  • Jungle Juice Platinum
  • A fourth option like Jungle Juice Black Label, Pig Sweat or Taiwan Blue.

Therefore, if I were to write this, it would read… Thou Shalt Provide All Supplies a Top Might Require

3. Assume that if you have a gag reflex and can’t take his cock all the way down your throat, that your ass will just have to make up for what your mouth can’t do.

The bottom is responsible to get the top hardGetting your dick sucked, ass rimmed and/or fingered is at the top’s discretion. Understand if he sucks your dick, it’s because he like to suck dick…it just happens to be your dick. And understand that if he takes the time to rim you, you’re about to get fucked the way he wants to fuck you.

 Mark notes: I rarely rim and even more rarely suck cock. And if I kiss you, well then I really like you. One of the things that I’ve not put on my Bossy Bottom lists is when the cunts ask if I’ll rim or blow them. First, see Commandment Number 1. If that ass isn’t fucking pristine, my mouth isn’t going near it. My nose tells me whether it’s okay to go in for a lick. Then if I taste anything bitter, um, I’m not taking a second lick.

 On the other hand, I am generally clean. I might not be fresh out of the shower. Your job, if I want you to, is to suck me hard. If my ass isn’t clean, I’ll never send a bottom down there. but I’ve had plenty of bottoms volunteer to lick my funky ass. Your choice. Just know I’m not kissing you after that, no matter how much I like you (or how much mouthwash you use later).

If I were to write this, it would say… Thou Shalt Not Demand Any Assistance to Prepare for Being Fucked But Thou Shalt Help a Top Prepare to Fuck

4. If your top wants you to blow a load before he fucks you, get to work jerking it.

The bottom may be asked to blow a load first.Yes, we know it’s going to hurt more when he fucks you after you’ve already nutted. If he’s asking, it’s obviously the point that he knows that and wants your hole super sensitive so that you really earn his cum. Time for you to bite that pillow.

  Mark notes: Now I already figured I wanted to fuck Ryan (author of the bottom half of this piece). Now I know I do. I’ve made bottoms bite the pillow and take me after they’ve popped off because they’re not patient for me to cum first. I stay hard after I cum and I like working my DNA in deeper. But actually jerking off before I start fucking?

I personally think there’s nothing hotter than a bottom who cums on my cock and lets me fuck him with his own cum. 

My version… Thou Shalt Cum When, Where and By What Means the Top Demands

5. Your top has control of a lot, but whether you moan while being fucked isn’t always one of them.

Vocalize pleasure, not pain.Some bottoms can just take more than others and vocalize that proportionally. That said, if he wants you to talk to him, he’ll fuck it out of you. And if all you can say during the first few thrusts is “ouch,” or “slow down,” or “easy,” expect him to put you face-down on the mattress or stick his underwear in your mouth. He has to fuck his way through the pain so you can start to feel the pleasure, so stop running away.

 Mark notes: Thou Shalt Vocalize Pleasure and Not Pain, Unless Your Top Demands Silence

6. Stop it already with putting your hands against his hips or stomach to try to control his depth/speed/roughness.

Bottoming is what you came here for, get to it.

 A Rough FuckMark notes: Now I’m not huge but I am hard and, for some bottoms, that’s a challenge (I don’t know why because it goes in easier than some softy you have to grasp by the base and shove inside). I will normally give a bottom a few moments to adjust to my cock. 

After that, shut up and take it. 

Along with this trying to stop it is when a bottom grabs my hips and tries to get me in deeper.

My commandment version… Thou Shalt Allow the Top to Penetrate as Deep, as Rough and at the Pace He Wishes

7. Don’t worry about jacking yourself off.

The bottom should never pleasure himself unless instructed to do so.Focus on the pain and the pleasure your top is giving you with his cock. If your top wants you to get off, he’ll either tell you to stroke it, or he’ll do it for you. It’s not his job to make you cum, it’s his job to fuck you how he wants to. The better job you do, the more likely he might let you cum while he’s still inside you. Earn it.

 Mark notes: Oh how much it pisses me off to have a bottom playing with his own nipples or jerking his cock or, worse, both. And I’m having to maintain balance for us both. Meanwhile, he accidentally brushes his hand against my balls and notices I like that and then goes back to jerking his own cock? You’ve got to be fucking kidding me?

Thou Shalt Not Touch Yourself Unless Ordered to Do So by the Top

8. Don’t try to take charge.

Ryan's Ass... the Bottom's Ultimate Ass...Your top sets the pace. Don’t back up onto the cock unless he tells you to. Your top is not an amusement park ride, you are. He’ll let you know if he wants you to drive.

 Mark notes: This one overlaps a little with Commandment Number 6 so we’re going to change it up a little because I think I know what the bottom means here.

There was this terrific bottom I fucked for a while and his ass just really knocked my socks off. Where he excelled happened to be when he’d be in the crab position above my cock and just ride the cum out of me. Literally. He did it once. I loved it.

I told him to do it again the next time I fucked him. He made a half-ass attempt for like a minute then switched positions and pace on me, even when I told him what I wanted. 

Then there’s been bottoms who grind their cock into the bed when I’m riding them in my favorite position. I tell them to stop moving and let me do all the work. I want to shoot off in their ass. Don’t move. Just hold still and let me use them to get myself off in their ass. But they don’t. They’re thinking moving against my fuck is good, even when I tell them just to hold still.

No.

It’s even better when I let a bottom try to get me off with his ass if he’ll ask if this is better. Go faster? Go deeper? Shut up? Just pay attention to me. You should figure it out.

Thou Shalt Do as the Top Commands at All Times, Pay Attention and Ask If It’s Unclear

9. Don’t be stupid.

 Ryan's Cub ChestUnless you have some prearranged, agreed upon commitment about something, it’s the top’s show. He picks the positions. He picks the bed, floor, shower, etc. And he picks where his load ends up. You can ask, but don’t natter away and make him regret picking you over the other guy that was just as hot.

 Mark notes: My dear bottom finds himself struggling a little with this one, so I’ll first say what I think fits best…

Thou Shalt Anticipate a Top’s Needs

It’s like I wrote about in my last Bossy Bottom Opens a new window from this blog piece. I’m on my way to cumming and the fucking bottom interrupts me. I’d fucked him before and he should have paid attention to know what it is that I’d preferred, how I liked to cum and then allowed me to shoot. Instead he interrupted me. He was stupid. He didn’t anticipate that I needed him just to enjoy the ride instead of worrying about his pleasures.

10. Don’t let your mouth write checks your ass can’t cash, so be careful what you say.

You didn't say you were not into this kind of play, did you?Don’t say “anything goes” unless you mean it. Don’t say “fuck me harder” unless you want to feel his girth for the next week. If you call your top “Daddy”, or “Sir”, or “Papi”, or whatever, be ready for any role play that follows. Don’t bitch about it if you call him “Sir,” only to have him put your ass hole through a Seal training boot camp. Your ass belongs to him until he’s done with it.

 Mark notes: Oh, this one is too fucking true. A great example is an entry I wrote quite a while back in my Dark Passenger series Opens a new window from this blog.  The young man told me he wanted some tit torture, I told him what I would do, he was gung ho for it, he showed up, I did it and he cried like a little bitch.

I see entries online all the time that bottoms will do “anything” except blood and scat. Do you guys realize how fucking wide open that is? You start talking to them and you soon find out it also includes no permanent scarring, no bruises, no hitting, no spanking, piss only with beer or water, time limit of two hours or less, no women, no transgender, no animals, no shaving, no bondage, must use a safe word, no drugs, etc. 

If Thou Asks It, Thy Top May or May Not Grant It

And one other thing. You call me “Daddy” only if I could actually be your “Daddy” — meaning you better be in your twenties. Then I’ll call you “son” or “boy.” And while I’m completely familiar with the Leather Community and the Sir/boy relationships, I do struggle with men my senior begging to be called “boy.”

I’ll give you whatever title I want to give you. Just because you think that word recaptures your youth, it doesn’t.

11. It isn’t about you, it’s about the top. Period.

It's all about pleasing the top and getting his load.Really understanding this eliminates the need for the other ten.

 Mark notes: Amen brother. Preach it.

Thou Shalt Focus All Thyself on The Top

The most successful bottoms have always expressed this. There’s this joy that comes from them — their jizzjoy Link Opens in a New Window — from the cum deposited in their ass. When I cum and I hear a bottom sigh from that, I know I’ve got someone who really enjoys what I do.

The Eleven Commandments of a True Bottom

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Deceptively Fun #1: The Story Begins

Deceptively Fun #1: The Story Begins

Don’t know when I stopped caring, but I don’t. It’s all about the fuck. It’s all about feeling good. And I don’t fucking care any other way.

I say and do what I need to and I always get rewarded with ass. Well, almost always. There’s still plenty of ass I turn down. But I can be charming, naive, dominant, friendly or anything as long as my cock finds its way to a tight — or tight enough — pucker.

As for condoms, most guys may claim they want “safe sex,” but if you eat their ass out just enough and then poise the cock at the hole, you don’t even need to push. The bottom will push back onto my throbbing hard seven-and-a-half inches.

And I really do have seven-and-a-half inches. First, the nine-inches or more is fucking hard to find and, in many cases, guys with meat that huge are usually bottoms. If you are lucky enough to find a top with such a large endowment, chances are the cock is more sponge-like than rock-like.

Mine is solid. You have NO DOUBT there’s a cock inside you. Moreover, my talents extend further. Once I am hard, I STAY HARD. I mean, I can shoot a load and keep fucking. I’ve done that numerous times and not even told the bottom. As long as I keep thrusting, they have no idea I’ve shot a load DEEP INTO THEIR ASS.

That’s one of my favorites for the so-called “safe” fuckers who back down on my cock. “Please, don’t cum in my ass,” they’ll request. Of course, I always make a special effort to cum shortly after my cock slides inside, then I keep fucking them and cum a second time on their back or wherever. But about half the time, they end up asking — no, begging — for it in their ass.

Should you enjoy the pleasures of cum in ass, I have a special treat. You see, my cock has a life of its own. With a good fuck, I slam that last stroke home and hold still. The bottom will feel my cock swell and then THROB LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER. Dude, you have NO IDEA the reaction this gets.

Bottoms will beg for it again and again if they can FEEL a guy shoot. With me, they can.

So I should round out my description a little more.

I’m 36, 6-feet 3-inches tall, 185 pounds with brown hair and green eyes. I have a little chin fuzz, which adds a little something to my nerdy appearance. Seeing me on the street (or online), you’d never suspect I’ve fucked more than 5,000 asses. hell, I have NO IDEA how many men I have fucked.

So let’s move on since we’re done with all the introductory shit.

The guy is 20 years old, black, slender and about 5-foot 10-inches. He’s a bottom, of course, and asked if I would fuck him. We were both online, him hiding his pics until I sent him my e-mail address. I don’t go looking for twentysomethings. Hell, I don’t even approach guys under 30. The twinks (and let’s face it, at that age they’re almost ALL twinks) generally fuck their own.

When I was in my early thirties, I never seemed to attract guys in their twenties. Now, that’s all I seem to hear from. A gift for turning 36 or something, I guess.

So he comes over, and we start the usual thing. He sucks my cock, he eats my ass, he licks my balls (which really gets my juices running). I return the favor, at a minimum. He sucked me for something like 15 minutes and I make it from his cock to asshole in two.

This is where I spend my time. I know how to eat ass and do it well. I get the chin fuzz involved and really work my tongue into that tangy pucker. He’s all moaning and shit, now begging for it.

I always ignore the first time they ask for a condom.

I move up and start kissing him deeply, letting him taste his own ass. My wet cockhead is pushing at his hole the first time he asks. Again, I never push forward. He is hesitating. I know he wants to, but he asks for a condom again.

They look like ordinary condoms. Hell, they are. Even good on the expiration date, if anyone bothered to check. But here’s the trick. Put them in your car in sunlight. Let the whole box heat up good and hot. And it needs to be for a few days. A week is best. Just for good measure, sometimes I bring them in from the heat and freeze them too.

Always test one from the batch. The trick should be for them to slip on like any other condom. Over the head and everything. Some smart bottoms always check the tip. But once you start fucking, they only check the base.

With enough practice, you will find the right amount of heat and all that will cause the condom head to split open. I’ve got it good enough that by the fourth or fifth thrust, my head is out. A few minutes in, the entire top half of my cock is plunging into his hole.

Damn this boy was hot and loving my cock. He reaches back every once in a while and feels the cock going into his hole. Sometimes they check for the condom and breath a sign of relief when they feel it.

Not him. He wants my cock deeper inside him. He’s opening his ass up as wide as it will go. He takes a snort of poppers and starts begging for me to really plug him.

He’s such a thin boy. A slight amount of effort gets his haunches up higher so I can slam his ass. I can see my bare cock come out and go back into his hole, glistening with the lube, spit, my precum and his ass juices. I really start giving it to him.

Without touching himself, he begins to shoot. I feel his ass clamp down onto my cock. So I let loose. A couple more plunges and I am there. I bury my cock deep inside and start releasing my load. His eyes get wide. He can feel it too. FUCK it feels good. My cock is throbbing, swelling and pumping, releasing my juices deep into his gut. I ride the high as long as I can. He does too.

Then you see the confusion. It FEELS different, I know. As out breathing begins to relax, he reaches back to grab the cock base and hold the condom in place. My hand wraps around his and I pull the condom off.

I become attentive. My spunk is dribbling out of his ass, so I grab a handy towel and wipe it up, then clean him up and point him toward the bathroom, being gentlemanly.

This is where I always win the deception. When he returns, I am fully ready for the question: “Hey, did the condom break?”

“Nope,” I say. Sometimes when I jerk off alone, I use a normal, unaltered condom, deposit a load there, add enough lube and a bit of brown matter (if needed) and you have “evidence” of a unbroken condom. Store it in plastic baggies to keep it “fresh” enough. The bathroom trip always gives you enough time to make the switch.

I show it to him and he relaxes.

“Damn, dude, that was fucking hot. I have NEVER felt someone cum like that before,” he says.

I just smile.

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