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Darkroom Etiquette

Darkroom Etiquette

To help those who have never experienced a darkroom sexual experience or those who need a bit of a refresher course, this is the guide for you.

What is a darkroom?

A darkroom is where no one can see. No one. Everyone is essentially blind because it’s so incredibly dark.

Why a darkroom?

In a darkroom, without the use of your eyes, you get the opportunity to allow your other senses run wild.

There’s a saying that people who are blind compensate with their other senses. Whether that’s true or not, within the darkroom experience, one cannot rely on your eyes.

This gives you the opportunity to let your fantasies, those things you can invent in your mind, to actually happen.

Who fucking cares if it’s real? Do you want a date or do you want to fuck?

If he feels like a 20-year-old, then believe he is a 20-year-old.

If the cock seems like it’s 10 inches long, then it’s 10 inches.

If he’s a muscle god who smells like a man, lick his fucking pits and enjoy.

A darkroom doesn’t get in the way of everything else, any potential turnoffs (like that ingrown toenail or jacked-up orthodontics) disappear. In the darkness, you’re fucking Dawson with his 20th load or getting bred by Brad McGuire (or whatever legendary top or fantasy top you can imagine).

How a Darkroom Works

The general effort is to make the room as pitch black as possible so that no one can see a darn thing. Of course, a little light will always filter in one way or another. And as your eyes adjust, you can usually make out shapes.

Still, the overall goal is to keep it dark.

That means, no matter how strong the impulse, do not pull out your cell phone and shine its light. It ruins the mood, destroys the fantasy and basically blows out everyone’s pupils, which have to readjust to the darkness.

There are three basic ways of entering a darkroom:

  1. Boldly walk in, not caring what you bump into.
  2. Sneak in along the wall.
  3. Hang around the entrance watching who enters then follow someone you like inside.

I’m generally someone who takes the stealth approach, feeling my way at first along the wall. This gives me a moment to listen and determine if there’s much action going on inside.

Bumping into someone will happen. It’s a fucking darkroom, so get over it.Take this opportunity to check them out. First with a light touch. Then, if they don’t push you away, keep exploring. Are their pants off? Is their dick out? Is their ass prelubed (or leaking cum)? Are they completely naked? Or does he feel like a wrinkled mess?

If he feels you back, he’s interested. If he’s not stopping you, he’s looking for some service.

It’s relatively a common sense situation, although I’ve experienced my share of trolls who cannot take a hint, requiring me to bail out of a darkroom. Generally, men cum about every 5 minutes, so if you leave the darkroom and return in 10, you’ll be in with another group.

To convey my intent, I immediately move my hand to someone’s ass and head to the asshole. If he’s got his pants on, I see if I can slip my hand down inside them. If he bats my hand away, I move on.

I also go for the most common erogenous zones, like the nipples. A little tweak will often open up someone to the option of a fuck.

Courtesy and Tips

Here’s what I suggest to make your experience the best:

  • If you are receiving unwanted attention from a troll, push his hand away — at first gently and then with force. If that doesn’t work, step out of the room (unless you’re in mid-fuck).
  • In mid-fuck, you are free to explore. Let the hands run over your body and don’t get all pissy thinking you should be left alone. If you wanted to fuck alone, you should have gone into a booth or room.
  • Moans, groans, grunts and any basic animalistic sounds are welcome. Otherwise, do not talk.
  • Turn off your cell phone ring and, for God’s sake, don’t fucking answer the phone if it does ring (yes, I’ve experienced it; some asshole actually got a call, answered it in the darkroom and proceeded to have a conversation; cleared the room out in seconds).
  • You will be touched and explored by strangers you cannot see. If this is an issue for you, do not enter a darkroom.
  • Bottoms, it’s quite preferred you be cleaned out and prelubed before going into a darkroom. Keep any lube on hand.
  • If you expect to be “safe” in a darkroom, go with someone who can spot you. One of the easiest places to stealth is in a darkroom, especially when things get busy. You can never really tell which cock is entering you. In fact, I’d suggest the condom Nazis to stay out of the darkrooms.
  • If someone pushes your hand away, consider it a polite way of saying “no thank you” and move on. Don’t be a troll.
  • If you’re not feeling the vibe, step out of the room for 10 minutes and return later. Generally, darkrooms turnover with new action every 5 or 10 minutes.
  • Sometimes you’re lucky to get a service-oriented bottom in the room, who will be naked or pants-down/ass up and allowing all cocks and loads. Be nice, don’t push, and take your turn. Don’t take forever to cum. Pump your load into him.

Hopefully this will all help make your darkroom experiences better. Please add your own darkroom tips below.

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rage

The Guy I Didn’t Fuck

I’m traveling right now and I’d warned the bottoms around here I’d be in town and up to breed.

My top contender for my load was fucking adorable. We had been texting back and forth for close to a week (on and off) when it came to the time when the boy needed to put his ass in the air.

With some, when it comes to being with me, they need some assurances. I need assurances too. I’ve had too many catfish — so many, I could open a seafood restaurant. I need convinced a person is real.

He needed convincing I’d not leave him with HIV or an STD.

Supposedly, he was in my hotel when he sent this line:

“I’m sorry I keep asking but it would be bad for a nurse to pop up with HIV.”

I went back to reread that.

Surely, someone going into healthcare — someone who would care for people with all sorts of diseases, disorders and maladies — did not just imply that male nurses were not supposed to become poz.

Having known plenty of poz men (and women) in many, many professions including nursing (and doctoring, for that matter), my hard cock took a turn south as the blood rushed to my finger tips and I furiously began typing to this little fucker.

I was pissed.

Would it be bad for a nurse to pop up diabetic? With high cholesterol? Obese?

This young man needed to get some sense fucked into him but I wasn’t going to do it, especially since I’d assured him I wasn’t giving him anything he’d judged as “bad.” In the end, I thought it better to deny him cock and cum. I just couldn’t support him knowing that his sexy ass somehow justified him getting bred. Sure, I could have bred him, telling him I was filling him up with toxic, puss-filled, virus-laden cum. But it would just play into the damned critics who make my life enough of a challenge I’m in semi-retirement now.

Instead, I sent him on his way without his ass fulfilled with what he really needed. And I told him that he indeed turned into the bottom inspiration that brought me out of retirement to write.

I hope no one gets sick and gets cared for by this little son-of-a-bitch. If you do and he perceives you somehow, Male Nurse McJudgie is not going to give you 100% of the loving care you deserve.

May his ass rot cumless (and condomless) until his dying day.

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Hate (3 of 3)

Hate (3 of 3)

A blind leading the blind mentality seems to permeate the world. We don’t want our children to be taught about sex or they might have it. Yet we all have cocks and vaginas and asshole and clits.

Then there’s this thing called the Internet and it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out which goes where. Before you know it, little honors student and Christian Jessica Jane Lister is pregnant with football quarterback Cody Wall’s baby and they’ve both got genital warts.

We want our schools to teach creationism but not evolution but we don’t want our churches to support science. Hell, the Georgia Legislature is trying to pass a law that citizens have a right to carry guns into their churches, so we can kill the preacher if he says something blasphemous (like Jesus turned water into wine; wrong! Jesus turned water into grape juice).

It stands to reason that a lot of the hate I’ve garnered causing people to protest against Str8Cam Jeff Opens new window of a page on this blog and others steams from a misunderstanding of my most controversial posts about stealthing.

I know a lot of my readers think stealthing is hot, hot, hot. You jerk off to it. It’s the forbidden fruit. All of us have fantasies we all enjoy, just beyond the borders of what we’d really do.

Then again, it might be something we do.

In the barebacking world, there’s bug-chasing and gift-giving along with a Russian roulette of who-the-fuck-cares breeds us.

But I am known for stealthing, for giving the world the top 10 tips for stealthing Opens new window of a page on this blog, for explaining barebacking in meaningful ways that there’s no denying what’s really happening.

I have been deceptive. And that’s not explaining all my motivations.

The Entire Truth

Whenever I watch a magician — even someone like Lance Burton or David Copperfield — it’s become second nature for me to figure out how the trick is done. It’s not really hard to do. I can’t stand to watch “America’s Got Talent” and to see Howie Mandel be amazed at a relatively simple trick and to say, “I don’t know how you did that!”

I can tell you.

When I began the entries on busting condoms, taking condoms off and other forms of sabotage, the outrage was palpable. Most hated it. Many thought I’d broken some sacred contract.

How, I have no idea. Anonymous sex is just that. Why they have this higher-than-mighty sense one must adhere to a code when fucking someone who you don’t even know their first name, I don’t comprehend. Why? And especially why when one knows the other person isn’t put into any harm.

The mighty think that the stealther has some puss-filled cock shooting out disease upon infection and reigning some destruction upon the other.

Nonetheless, until I started writing about it, no one was.

I don’t count myself as some savior. I don’t. But I do see some of what I wrote as an education.

I do explain if you’re stupid enough to want to fuck in places where you’re not going to know your top or bottom, how one might protect oneself. How to bring your own condoms, monitor the use of the condoms and maintain your own safety.

You are accountable for your own safety. No one else.

Welcome to Real Life

It’s so very odd how some consider this bond of sex sacred even though you’re fucking with a stranger. For example, if a journalist is speaking to a source and the source wants to go “off the record” — meaning the content to follow is not to be published or broadcast — the journalist must agree to do so verbally as well. It must be stated so and both parties have to make an agreement.

Pulling out a condom just with the assumption someone will wear it doesn’t work that way.

I’m not saying this stuff just to piss people off. I’m trying to get reality to sink in. This is how the world works. Assuming an asshole top who wants to get off raw or a bottom who wants a load is going to fuck according to some honor code is just plain stupid.

 

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Bareback top visiting New Hampshire

Travel Diary: Bottoms Blah Blah Blah

Flakes are universal, along with fakes and catfish Open-New-Window-External. This I know.

But when it comes to superstar flaking out, New Hampshire takes the fucking cake. In fact, my visit to Concord might take the bakery.

Allow me to explain.

I always post future destinations in my travel plans on my BarebackRT.com profile Open-New-Window-External. I notify readers here Open-New-Window-External that I’m visiting. Of course, all this is tweeted Follow on Twitter and ends up on my Facebook Open-New-Window-External.

To enhance it all further, I post on Craigslist an add that looks something like the following:

TOP blogger visiting looking for bottom writing inspiration – m4m (Concord Area)

I’m a blogger who writes about my sexual experiences on the road with bottoms I encounter… My blog is read by thousands every single day, reproduced on several sites and even some entries end up on a famous porn studio’s website.

Perhaps you might like to be the inspiration for a piece when I slide into town next week?

I don’t identify the bottoms I fuck, just write about the experience…

Hit me up with your info — a pic, stats, etc. I’ll respond with my blog details so you can check it out. We’ll go from there.

The site contains a lot of information beyond my fucks. And if you happen to be a top, we can tag team or maybe you’d like to try sitting on my cock… it’s a perfect 7 inches cut.

Thanks!

P.S. The only major requirement (other than bottoming for me) is that you don’t smoke.

From all this, I do get a lot of inquiries. Most of them are lurkers who never intend to meet. This I get. It’s also an opportunity to find new people to read my blog since not all barebackers have found the Bareback Brotherhood or my blog.

With many there’s the “I just fuck safe,” and then more than half switch their story.  But some don’t. Yet, with my blog, it becomes a jerk-off destination for many.

When I do finally arrive, I e-mail the best back to see if they’re still up for that fuck.

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Arriving in Concord

My arrival in Concord allowed me to long in locally to BarebackRT.com, Grindr, Scruff and Manhunt.net, all of which use a geographic tool to notify one who’s closest. I also posted to Craigslist.

Two men of the many interested e-mailed me back saying they were still up for the fuck, but one 4 p.m. pump-and-dump session became a no-show with regrets arriving several hours later because he was “stuck somewhere.”

Flake.

All of my online activity netted me a lot of interest. A lot. I was fresh meat in a town that didn’t see a lot. Of course, I got the usuals…

People just wanting to collect photos, see my cock or face.

I had one prospect on BarebackRT… he was a fucking hot dude in his late twenties… seemed like a good one. But here’s where we begin one issue that baffled me for Concord.

He had no vehicle.

I needed to come to him and pick him up, bring him back to my hotel to fuck and then take him home.

Now please check out the map.

Concord is not a major city. It’s 1½ hours north of Boston. It’s not a walking city. How can you not have a car and survive, especially when you’re not in college?

This turned into a theme of the night. No car. No transportation. My car is in the shop. My car is in the shop due to the storm. I don’t have a car.

By the way, none of these bottoms ever asked where I was staying to see if I happened to be within walking distance.

I don’t guess Northeastern tops teach bottoms they’re the ones who need to make the effort Opens new window of a page on this blog.

While some of them were hot enough for me to go and fetch them, it turns out I didn’t rent the car but a colleague did. I simply wasn’t an option.

Then came the other morons.

I also get a collection of those who want to postpone. These guys appear in every city, without fail. I wonder if they ever fuck. All conversations go something like this.

THEM: “How long you in town?”

ME: Just tonight (no matter how long I’m in town, I always say I’m here “just tonight”)

THEM: “Damn! It’s getting late tonight.”

ME: It’s just 9:30.

THEM: “I know but I have to get up early. I wish you were here…” fill in the blank with “tomorrow night” or “this weekend”

In other words, they can never come over now or today.

Proximity Alert

My first promising opportunity looked like a threesome, which I won’t get into too much detail on. In his early thirties and a scruffy blond, wanted to know if I wanted to fuck both him and another guy, in his early twenties — both online at the same time. As if on cue, the younger one sends me a message.

The younger one asks if I’ve got poppers, which of course I do.

Then he asks if I’ve got anything “more fun.”

WTF.

“Dude,” I respond back. “You’re well aware I’ve come into town. That means I flew. That means I went through security. At an airport. Are you fucking kidding me? Why would I have any drugs?”

He responds, “Oh yea, I guess you’re right. But I still want to fuck.”

Anyway, the vibe is off and the duo then go even more weird. The young one claims the old one is stalking him. The old one claims they’re “together.”

I don’t want to get into the shit. Kick them both to the curb.

Right Downstairs

One last opportunity happens as a guy indicates he’s in a hotel. I ask which one and it turns out he’s in the same one as I am.

Bingo.

He won’t disclose his room, so I give him mine, knowing my colleague isn’t on that floor. He tells me he needs 10 minutes to shower and get cleaned up.

Those 10 minutes pass. Then another 10. Another 10. Yet another 10. And at 45 minutes, I finally message him.

He apologizes, saying it’s taking him longer than he thought to clean out his ass.

Whatever, I say, just get his ass to my room.

Then he says come to his.

I tell him I don’t have his room number.

He says okay, he’s now putting on his clothes.

At an hour after we started this exchange, he says he’s on his way.

Then I get a text asking me if I’ll suck his dick too.

I’m baffled. I just ask, “What?”

Then he writes, “I need to run by the front desk real quick.”

Fuck that.

This fucker is just playing me.

“Forget it.”

He gets all bent out of shape. Says he won’t go by the front desk. Blah blah blah.

After some back and forth, I say he can some to my room, but he has three minutes to get there.

He says he doesn’t like my attitude.

I tell him to fuck off.

The next morning, he begs me to come to his room to fuck him.

I tell him I’m not disturbing  guests actually staying in the hotel.

Postscript

Perhaps the little fucker actually was staying in the hotel or maybe he was one of the guys I’d e-mailed earlier and said I was in town and knew the hotel from that. I’ll never know. I’m proud I never knocked on anyone’s door. That shit pisses me off. He probably kept delaying things to try and get someone else to come over and knock on my door but, like me, couldn’t find anyone to do it.

My luck is your luck, fucker.

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How to Host a Gay Orgy

how to host a gay bareback orgy

How to Host a Gay Orgy, Content

Pick an Orgy Theme
BulletStrip Poker Opens new window of a page on this blog
Planning Your Space
Security Concerns
Purchasing and Planning Supplies
The Guest List
Scheduling the Orgy
Asking a Guest to Leave
Asking for Money
Orgy Etiquette
BulletA More Detailed Orgy Etiquette Opens new window of a page on this blog
The Orgy Begins
Boosting Sexual Success
Ending the Orgy

 

 return Return to iBLASTinside’s Gay Sex Guides

 

Pick an Orgy Theme

Why pick a theme? It’s an orgy! Right?

Every orgy has a theme even if it’s, “Anything goes.” That’s a theme.

Perhaps it’s a “load the birthday boy” or “twentysomething jerkoff” party. It doesn’t matter. Creating a successful orgy means generating some interest.

When I lived in Washington, D.C., I happened to own a home that had a single large room with almost no windows that made it a particularly successful space for hosting orgies. I became quite successful at creating some get-togethers.

A few ideas beyond the traditional conversion party Open-New-Window-External  or jock/bear/twink/leather exclusive get together:

lightbulb_on Friday Fog Fuck Fest
lightbulb_on My version of strip poker Opens new window of a page on this blog
lightbulb_on Sexy slumber party
lightbulb_on Masquerade party
lightbulb_on Gloryhole Hoe Down
lightbulb_on Underwear exchange orgy
lightbulb_on Russian Roulette orgy Open-New-Window-External

You can make it simple just by restricting age, kind of people, types or anything else. But choosing a theme helps you in restricting your guest list. This is something you will want to do.

Please note that being polite goes a long way to lessen the animosity that could develop. Posting something like, “No fatties and ancient trolls,” will piss off some queens who’ve been used to attacks. Therefore these bitterness-containers may target your gathering by pretending to be someone else and then wrecking havoc or, worse, creating a security risk by informing the local homophobic hate groups.

Don’t laugh. I’ve seen it happen. And truth be told, I’ve had an asshole host cause (a younger, less mature) me to send dozens of people to his house and ruin his orgy (he was a fortysomething man hosting only svelte, blond twentysomethings with treasure trails, although his invite didn’t say as much). When he uninvited me, he wasn’t delicate and polite.

RULE #1 of GOOD ORGY HOSTING
Don’t Be an Asshole.

Your orgy theme needs to reflect the kind of debaucherous experience you want to occur, even if it’s an impromptu sex encounter with a few locals.

TOP  Return to Top

Planning Your Space

Gay Bareback OrgyIf the orgy is at your home, decide where guests will and will not have access. Think of the entire experience. Do you live in a gated community? A high-rise with street parking? A home in the suburbs? A basement apartment with a back entrance?

The entire visit must be explained in detail to your guests. Don’t just give an address, but let them know about the parking situation, whether there’s a gate or door code, whether to knock or enter straight on, etc.

Explaining the access interior might be important as well.

Dump-and-go parties — where there’s a bottom set up and accepting loads from multiple tops who stop by over a period of time — usually has a space where the tops can clean-up, disrobe and also put back on clothes in preparation to leave. When hosting in a hotel or motel, this isn’t always possible.

Other orgies usually have a playroom or rooms where the sex occurs and a break space for refreshments. Sometimes there’s a space for people to remove, put on and store clothing.

RULE #2 of GOOD ORGY HOSTING
Have a place for guests to disrobe, store clothing safely and dress later.

Although I enjoy going over and doing the “wham, bam, thank you Sam” thing, I don’t really consider that an orgy. You will need the following three spaces minimal:

Green square bullet Dressing room
Green square bullet Play space(s)
Green square bullet Clean-up space (most likely a bathroom)

Your optional spaces may include the following:

Yellow Square Bullet Lounge break space (where sex will not occur but guests may be naked)
Yellow Square Bullet Non-sex lounging space (where guests should be clothed and no sex should occur)
Yellow Square Bullet Refreshment space (may also be the lounge space, but a place where guests can get a drink of water or other beverage or snack)
Yellow Square Bullet Specialty sex spaces (you may want to designate a space for bondage, barebacking, JO, sling(s), massage, etc.)

Finally, you should consider designating off limits spaces.

bullet_square_red Post signs for spaces like extra rooms, your office, etc., that guests should not enter.
bullet_square_red Also consider posting signs on the refrigerator, pantry, cabinets, etc., politely directing guests to the location of refreshments. Use positive phrases like, “Beer, sodas and bottled water located in the cooler on the deck” rather than “Don’t take my shit from the refrigerator” because people will be more likely to take stuff with negative commands.

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Security Concerns

When planning any get together, security is a must. I personally have been to orgies where my belongings were stolen Opens new window of a page on this blog from inside the orgy home and the word “FAG” was keyed into my car. As both the host and the participant, ways to assure a secure environment

As a host, two ways secure your environment:

The Locked-Door Policy

At a designated time (as you clearly state in the invitation), the entrance/exit will be locked. No new admissions will occur after this point. While you plainly state this, I recommend that you be a little late on locking the door. This allows for traffic issues (which you should monitor in case there’s an accident nearby — it’s happened to me) and for those who just can’t arrive on time. It also allows for the participants to loosened up a little.

Monitored

This one is a little more difficult because it requires someone or a couple of folks to skip the fun and monitor the door (and perhaps the clothing room). A couple of ways to accomplishing this:

bullet_square_blue Hire men to be your “security.” You can hire “heteroflexible” men, like local “straight” strippers. Let your participants know these men (who will wear little) are available after the festivities and will be accepting tips. You can also hire older men, straight men, liberal women, friends or pretty much anyone who doesn’t give a fuck what’s going on. Let the participants know that these folks are protecting their belongings. Once the party is in “full swing,” the doorman can step outside and check cars, call police if there’s suspicious activity, alert participants if the cops are coming, etc. If you can, consider creating a “coat check” like situation. Consider purchasing several stackable plastic bins and let participants put their clothes and keys inside it. Post-It notes allows the coat-check person to note a name and description (Tom, pierced nipples, smooth, bald head).

bullet_square_blue Create shifts with volunteers. Some folks will do it for free but consider asking for tips. It’s in everyone’s best interest. The best bet are folks who want a single shot (or need to cum just once). There’s also the option to send bottoms to service the top monitors while they work.

I’d always suggest you encourage participants to leave valuables at home, lock their IDs and wallets in their cars (hidden and out of site).

If you’re attending an orgy, I recommend the same — leave as many valuables as you can at home and the rest in your vehicle. After my stolen clothes experience, I’d suggest the following (unless you know the host or you’re attending an orgy with someone there to protect your clothes and goods):

bullet_square_blue Keep your clothes and keys with you, leaving your wallet and phone in the car (if you don’t feel safe without a phone, don’t fucking go; or, as an option, park close and have a Bluetooth connection to your phone at all times). I’ve been to an orgy or two where there was a designated room for play and it was easy enough to strip, fuck, play and then clothe oneself to hang out and eat, drink or socialize in other parts of the house.

bullet_square_blue If there’s a “no clothes” rule, consider separating your clothes and your car keys. Car keys can easily be stashed away someplace small and not very obvious. This gives a thief something to take and gives you a chance to still get your car. I’d drive home naked (or borrowing some shorts from the stupid host) with my keys than trying to get my keys from someone else.

bullet_square_blue Another option is simply keep your keys on you by securing them in a sock or something else on your body. I recommend this option, especially in sketchy situations if you have to bail without your clothes (I’ve heard of this but never personally experienced it). This might lead you to wearing disposable clothes (ones that you wouldn’t mind losing) and having an extra set in your vehicle.

I also recommend you be well aware of your surroundings and have an escape route. If something goes wrong, you can get the fuck out and leave. Also, just in case, I always leave “evidence” or information of the address where I went so anyone can find it quickly.

TOP  Return to Top

Purchasing and Planning Supplies

About to fuck in a gay orgyWe don’t want to believe that we need to purchase things like poppers Opens new window of a page on this blog and lube, but alas, not everyone brings their shit even when we insist on it. Therefore, plan on buying some and having someone take yours.

I personally always purchase smaller bottles of lube anyway because I’m always needing to pocket them for random hookups or visits to bookstores Opens new window of a page on this blog or sex clubs Opens new window of a page on this blog. As an option (if you purchase in bulk or gallon size), put the lube in plastic travel bottles. Poppers can’t be put in plastic and, generally, are too valuable just to leave all over the house. I would tuck my favorites certain places for me to remember if I needed them handy.

Consider purchasing inexpensive hand towels spaced throughout the house, especially on any flat surface and in any room you think sex will happen. Put away the nice towels and put out the cheap ones.

Now some people might think of “party favors” or “party supplies” might be drugs like Tina (crystal meth), Molly (MDNA), ecstasy or marijuana (pot or 420). You may wish to allow them, but it certainly makes your gathering a target for law enforcement. I personally would avoid such and say it’s not allowed (if you choose to indulge, do it on your own privately). Unless you’re already in some liberal bastion like San Francisco, a gay bareback orgy is going to be especially frowned upon, so law enforcement getting wind of illegal drugs and sodomy going on just might cause a major sting operation. Avoid.

And if you’re thinking of going and know that this is happening, avoid.

TOP  Return to Top

The Guest List

Guests to your gathering will be inevitably difficult to build. I always recommend you begin with your own hookups. You know these men so you’ll know a little bit about them — top, bottom or versatile. Generally, that is where every orgy begins with a mixture of how many men you’d like to invite and the ratio of tops-to-bottoms.

In barebacking, bottoms can be really greedy. Therefore, making it very clear the collection of people attending will make it much easier.

The question will also come for photographs along with statistics of the other attendees.

This makes for a very weird situation because some 22-year-old might refuse to come if there’s one ugly 40-year-old in the bunch. This is why I encourage the theme choice from the outset.

If it’s a “white athletes in their twenties with six pack abs only” party, then fucking specify it. However, the host must match the theme as well.

RULE #3 of GOOD ORGY HOSTING
The host must “match” the theme.

I once saw a guy hosting a barebacking party and knew who it was. He happened to be in his fifties, older, hairier and frankly out-of-shape fat. He used deceptive advertising on Craigslist to get younger men to respond, thinking they were coming to a nice jocks-only orgy.

Once I got the address of the get together, I flooded Craigslist with information on the man hosting the party. I also sent a few older, hairier men over to the address when they asked about it. I know. It’s evil of me. And it wasn’t friendly to the other guys. But the asshole got the point.

One must be reasonable about what one is going to get. One must be honest about what will be attending.

What I generally do with the first installment of an invitation folks know the general range of who will be attending based on the theme. Then, if the person is interested in attending, he must return at least one photo for inclusion in a collage of photos I put together.

I give everyone a deadline and let everyone know when the e-mail with everyone’s stats and the collage of photos will go out.

Some people send me a dozen pics. Some send one. Some send face. Some send ass. Some send body. Some send cock. I put together one or two collages of photos and a list of the participants’ basic stats.

From that point, I ask for confirmation of attendance.

At your first orgy, expect about 20 to 40 percent of your participants to actually arrive. If you maintain a mailing list and your orgies continue to be successful, the percentages will go up. Generally, you will never get more than 60 percent.

iphone-in-a-pocketE-mail multiple times leading up to the actual orgy start. Provide phone numbers for people who need them (if you don’t want to give out your real number, consider getting a Google Voice number Open-New-Window-External and link it or forward it to your phone. Yes, you can even get texts, but not all MMS.

One may use the BarebackRT.com Open-New-Window-External local party feature, but not everyone is on BBRT. There’s also sites like Evite.com, which allows for maybe, yes, no and hasn’t responded to invitations. Either way, you will want to build your own database or mailing list to maintain and you might even want to make mental notes of who attends and who doesn’t. I personally recommend getting really e-mail addresses and issuing invitations through those, as they’re easier to track should something happen at a get together.

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Scheduling the Orgy

Tea time orgies (anything in the afternoons) generally only work on weekends and holidays unless you’re planning on hosting an orgy at a public sex club or adult bookstore Opens new window of a page on this blog. Lunchtime drop-off orgies can work under certain circumstances.

Depending on the theme, the later the better. If you’re having a strip poker party Opens new window of a page on this blog or some normal party, then starting at 7 p.m. or so is just fine. Plan on later — more like 10 p.m. to midnight or even 1 a.m. if you want the after bar crowd.

One might even survey people to see what they might prefer. SurveyMonkey.com allows limited number of responses if you want to have a small selection of people to answer.

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Orgy Etiquette

I love to include a special section on etiquette Opens new window of a page on this blog in my e-mailed invitations. It’s an important reminder to everyone attending and it’s helped me make my orgies a little better. While I’ve created a more detailed version of the orgy etiquette Opens new window of a page on this blog here, your summary can be simple:

bullet You will not be attracted to everyone who attends, but there will be people there you’ll find hot.
bullet An orgy is like a potluck dinner — try a little of everything; don’t limit yourself like some sort of a la carte menu.
bullet Don’t plan on choosing the one guy you find hot and go off into a corner to make out; it’s an orgy which means everyone plays with everyone.
bullet Everyone’s allowed to touch everyone else; politely let someone else know if you’d prefer something else.
bullet (If appropriate) Let the attendees know if there’s a designated top or bottom for use if all else fails.
bullet No jerking off or just voyeur play; you’re a participant.

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Asking a Guest to Leave

I have rarely hosted an orgy without having someone who needs to be politely asked to leave or who automatically knows they are the odd man out, so to speak. Further, with bareback orgies, someone always tries to sneak in just to watch the fun and never participate. For some people, this isn’t a problem. I personally think it’s not a show but a participant sport.

One should be there to play.

Therefore, if something isn’t right, as host you can ask someone to leave.

Here’s the easiest way:

[alert style=”orange”] I wanted to thank you so much for coming to the get together.
However, I think it’s going to be in your best interest if you go ahead and leave.
I’m sorry it didn’t work out but I’ll keep you in mind for a more appropriate get together in the future. [/alert]

Now sometimes a dimwitted guest will want to know why they’re being asked to leave. Here’s a few examples:

[alert style=”orange”]I’m so sorry to say this, but the photos you provided don’t appear to be an accurate portrayal.
Perhaps it would benefit you to update them in the near future.(If you ask multiple guests to leave; this is a lie to spare the feelings of those you’re asking to leave)
I am afraid something has come up and we’re going to need to cancel the sexual portion of the party.
I hope you don’t mind. I’ll let you know if and when we reschedule.Unfortunately, you’re just not compatible with the designated theme of the party.I apologize, but we do expect you to participate in the sexual activity, not just watch.[/alert]

Occasionally, one does have to be a little mean to kick someone out. Or just start the orgy and let someone sit alone for a while and realize they’re all alone.

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Asking for Money

fucking bareback orgyI am not a big proponent of asking for designated amounts. I went to one orgy once that required $20 to get in. Funny thing, when I left after finding it a bust, the “donation” basket sat full by the front door. While I could have absconded with hundreds of dollars, I just took my twenty back since I didn’t shoot a load. I felt I didn’t get my money’s worth.

I don’t think it’s a big deal to suggest people tip for security or other things, but an actual admission or cover starts making it more like a sex club. Why do that?

Whatever you do, make it a donation or a suggested donation or optional tip.

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The Orgy Begins

I believe in alcohol.

Beer, wine, shots or something is needed before the “official” kick off of the orgy should begin.

Consider the booze a little lubricant for the party. It’s needed for people to get to know each other. I sometimes like for there to be an hour or so before the official orgy begins and the loosening up period begin.

This allows for people who feel out of place to leave (without you asking them). It also allows a little time for the inhibitions to go down.

Now it does depend on the type of party. For a blackout or darkroom or fog party where the room is dark, you don’t need this. But sometimes it is needed so people can become more comfortable.

Also, as the party begins, consider turning the air conditioning or heater temperature down, cracking a window or something to cool the space off. The space will heat up quickly. However, if the space is cooled off too well, no one will get naked.

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Boosting Sexual Success

People hired to applaud at appropriate times during a performance are known as claqueurs Open-New-Window-External and, in a way, the host and a few others need to be such at an orgy.

Your orgy claqueurs will act as instigators of action. They’ll start blowjobs or fucking or get naked or jerking off or whatever it takes to break the ice and get the action going.

With every orgy, the sexual energy ebbs and flows with the attendees and the vibe. You want to choose sexual people who can seemingly create sexual tension out of nothing.

Asking people to be your orgy instigators of action will help tremendously so you aren’t always the one.

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Ending the Orgy

Unless you’ve decided to make a night of it by hosting some sort of sleep over, the party must come to an end. Some people just don’t seem to take a hint.

I suggest giving a definitive end to your party in time. If you’re having a good time and it goes over, then don’t worry. But when you’re ready, just tell the lingerers, “Hey, I didn’t realize it’s after 1 a.m. I’m going to have to get up early tomorrow. Do you guys mind taking this someplace else?”

They’ll mosey out the door in due time.

The other option is to simply bring them their clothes. Hint, hint!

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