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Feedback on the Grindr Hate Message for the 23-Year-Old Openly POZ Barebacker

Feedback on the Grindr Hate Message for the 23-Year-Old Openly POZ Barebacker

Recently I posted a screenshot from Grindr sent to an openly POZ barebacker who happened to be online in Pittsburgh recently. The young man, who asked me not to use his name or photo, sent me the screenshot. He’d been floored.

Since turning HIV-positive a few years prior, he’d been honest with everyone online about his status as well as his preference to bareback. The result hadn’t been as much acceptance as there had been scorn, like this example.

I’d asked iBLASTinside readers to respond and some of you did. I wish a few more would, but here’s what I’ve received so far…

          

Those Who Protest Too Much

Andre wrote on 28 June 2012:

I don’t see what the fuss is about barebacking … it’s a personal choice and more than likely the a-hole who text those messages in the image above probably barebacks as well, when push comes to shove … you know what they say about those who protest too much …

          

Kudos to Leather Pup

Mindtrip wrote on 28 June 2012:

And people wonder why guys are lead to lie about their status.

It’s not just rejection; it is this hatred and disdain that leads to fear.

Kudos to this leather pup for his honesty to himself and to others.

          

Report and Block his Punk Ass

SeaGuy wrote on 29 June 2012: 

People who send messages like the one above to someone they do not know, attacking that person for the lifestyle they lead, are usually pathetic individuals who hate themselves for partaking in the particular lifestyle choice they are so against.

They also tend to not have anything else going on in their life. I don’t know of anyone in my life who has a hobby attacking strangers for barebacking. I would just report that pathetic hater for hate speech to Grindr then block his punk ass. He’s so pathetic it’s not worth your time to dwell on it.

          

Meet this Shit with Payback

HungLatinDom posted on 28 June 2012:

You should post the Grindr profile of the guy too. This kind of shit must be met with a payback. That kind of hate cannot be let unbound and with no response.

I pity the jerk, in any case. This kind of person hates us because we spoil their perfect life; if it would not be because filthy fags like us, he could have plenty of bareback sex. He wants it, he can’t have it, we are to blame. WHEN (not if) he gets poz, it’s gonna be ugly. I have seen it before, but it’s fair payback. All that hate is in their minds, nobody else is to blame.

When I seroconverted, I took it rather well. I made my life better in some aspects and realize some things. I never discriminated against poz gays, I was in peace with myself. Haters like him don’t have that advantage and they realize they turned into something they hate violently.

A Note from Mark

When I received the screenshot, I asked for the guy’s photo if the young pup had it. Like most chicken shits, he’d never uploaded a photo and, as you see in the image, never chosen a name for himself. Believe me, if I’d had any further information, I’d gladly have published it.  

          

Payback Is Not Cool

GermanFucker wrote on 28 June 2012: 

Someone who is open about his barebacking habits and his serostatus deserves all the respect and praise in the world, just like those who lie and mislead in order to infect deserve the scorn of the community. If you are open about barebacking and HIV everybody else can make his own decisions and will eventually realize that there are a lot of poz people out there and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with them. (And that if you want to be on the safe side, you can use a condom.)

However I find language like, “This kind of shit must be met with a payback,” dangerous and frightening.

Dude is a moron and a hater. He deserves to be ridiculed, made fun off and exposed for the douche he is. More than that he should be educated. What would not be ok is if someone went out and tried to poz the guy. There are limits. Calling it “payback” is a bit too much of a blank cheque. Not cool.

          

Karma Will Get Him

gd wrote on 28 June 2012 

This kid is probably going to get what he deserves. He is going to piss off a guy he shouldn’t about barebacking and he is going to get it. It’s that-asshole-better-than-thou attitude that guys hate. It’s one thing to disagree but another to hate and be so forceful about your view and so cryptic and dangerous.

I’ll admit it I am not really that much of a barebacker. I want to do it more but I am nervous and afraid. It’s sort of on hold right now. However sometimes I get messages from poz or undectable tops even though it’s in my profile I am not into that.

I don’t tell them to go die in a hole or go to AIDS country or anything like that. I tell them how flattered I am but I would rather try to play with neg guys (even though guys lie).

Some of them are okay but some get pissed. Some guys have called me a stupid naïve asshole for thinking that it’s okay to bareback with neg guys because all guys are poz and I am going to get pozzed anyways so I might as well do it with him. How romantic.

Everyone has their own view of barebacking.

Some guys don’t care about status and do it with anyone. Some guys are cum dumps. Some care about the status, and some are afraid to bareback.

I have nothing against poz guys or undetectable guys. Some I have talked to seem so nice and knowledgeable that I feel I am at fault for turning them down sometimes. But I don’t want to be poz. It might happen one day but I am really young and I want to stay neg for as long as I can. Safest way to do that right now is limit going raw tremendously. I really wanted to go to that CumUnion thing though but that would be dangerous.

I actually respect tops and bottoms both who, with their heart and mind, decide that they want to bareback and are not ashamed or afraid of it and don’t give a damn what others’ think. It’s their choice, their right, and their life and they don’t pussyfoot about it or make excuses.

But guys like this asshole on Grindr? He’ll say the same thing about an older guy or a guy he considers ugly.

Karma will get him.

          

I Enjoy Raw Sex Too Much to Wait for Love

Pete wrote on 28 June 2012:

I’m a recent convert to the (openly) bareback camp (with much thanks to this website for the encouragement to do it).

While I won’t be telling friends and family I’m doing it (that would just bring on worry I don’t think is necessary), I will be openly asking people I meet online if they will bareback (and if they are negative, although not asking hasn’t stopped me in the past). I’m just going to use my smarts to see if I think the person is being honest with me. I’m a pretty good judge of character.

As for the feeling guilty or having people possibly hate me for not understanding why I won’t practice safe sex, I made myself think about why I was doing it and came up with this as my excuse if I’m ever asked: If society will only possibly accept sex without a condom within a monogamous relationship, then I’m not willing to wait until I find someone to do that with.

I enjoy raw sex too much to wait for a love that may not come. Love is fleeting and hard to seek; sex is easy and fun, if done with the right partner(s).

You’re only hurting yourself if you believe you are. Yes, there are people out there who won’t ever be honest and try to stealth and make others poz; while I don’t agree with that, I do find the stories that involve on this site incredibly hot (so I can’t really judge). It’s totally the taboo nature of subverting the person who doesn’t want to “give in” and making it happen regardless. It’s bold & selfish, but incredibly intoxicating.

Life is worth living when you can just be yourself. Thanks to the commenters on this site for making me feel proud for doing it.

          

Doing What Cums Naturally

Versatile RAW Piggy Bottom wrote on 29 June 2012: 

It is a shame that the person contacted you and showed how much hate he has for people who are honest in what they like and want. Most likely he is hating his own life and has to spread that hate onto others — and especially to those doing what he desires to do. Have sex naturally….bareback.

Much Love & Support!

          

Disgusting

Jonas wrote on 29 June 2012:

That’s disgusting. I mean this guy clearly did nothing wrong, so he should never get messages like that.

I hate shortsighted people.

          

 

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3… 2… 1… BLAST-OFF! The Countdown to iBLASTinside’s Birthday   (2 of 3)

3… 2… 1… BLAST-OFF! The Countdown to iBLASTinside’s Birthday (2 of 3)

Forty-Five Random List…

…for Mark Bentson’s Forty-Fifth Year (Part 2 of 3)

You can catch up by reading part one.

30. I need a protégé.

It’s something I have wanted for a long while. A paduwan.  Someone to take under my wing, nurture and teach the secrets of fucking. I’m not going so far as to suggest I’m the bottom whisperer or anything, but I do have a talent for reading men and finding a way into their pants and eventually their asses. Of course, getting into their asses means I fuck them raw.

I want a willing, dedicated participant who wants to learn. So many folks take the first bit of advice and then move on, thinking they’ve got the key. But learning is a process that takes a little time.

So I still await someone with endurance and patience.

29. Make some fantasies cum true

Believe it or not, I still have a few fantasies in the darkest corners of my mind. These twisted little flights of my sexual imagination require that protégé or someone like him to become synchronized with me and be willing to waltz into the lion’s den where it’s not a controlled environment, like a dungeon or a bedroom. It requires quick thought on your feet, persuasion and a certain Joie de vivre.

28. Spread my seed farther, wider, deeper

Travel isn’t the only reason to spread my seed. Implanting my DNA in men just is my mission, my passion, the reason for fucking. And I find as I can reach more men farther afield from home — whether that’s literally geographic or figuratively in some other means like culture, age, financial status or otherwise — I find it more of a turn on.

27. Negotiate Middle East Peace

Short of that, I want to fuck more straight and bi ass.

26. Take one down, pass it around…

Where is the Gran Marnier?

25. Breed on my birthday

Any Atlanta asses want to volunteer to take my load?

24. Speaking of birthdays…

My wish list remains open at Amazon. Anyone wishing to send along something nice is always welcome to do so. It’s welcomed.

23. More strippers please

I don’t mind putting dollar bills in armbands or socks and paying for a lap dance. In fact, there’s a little bit of a turn on. That’s why one of my favorite places to visit in Atlanta happens to be Swinging Richards.

As I travel more places, I wish there were similar clubs worth my time and attention. For example, in San Francisco, I’d hoped that the Nob Hill Theatre might be the perfect cross between a Swinging Richards and a gloryhole destination. It’s far from it (I’ll get around to offering my review soon). And I’d thought Sin City might offer me a few options. But no. Women naked, yes. Men (for men), no.

I know Canada is known for some good strip clubs and a few in South Florida, but are there any more in the U.S.? Come on guys, let me know!

22. I’ve converted

Long-time readers will know my affinity for Diet Coke. When I wrote the impossible fantasy, The Company, Diet Coke features prominently in the story, as it’s provided to my character (I know, lots of you want me to continue the story and I appreciate that; read the next entry).

Well, folks, Coke Zero now features prominently among my beverage consumption as well. In fact, I drink it much more than Diet Coke and much prefer it.

Truth is, who the fuck cares? But writing 45 things about yourself can become daunting halfway in.

21. Finish it

I have a tendency to start a lot of projects but never finish them. I love watching those hoarding shows on A&E or TLC and sometimes those mentally ill folk have the same ideas but with physical world items. And the hoard overtakes their storage.

Good thing my hoard is virtual and on a computer. And good thing I don’t grow emotionally attached and can let them go. I’ve still got goals but I just can’t seem to find an opportunity to finish the books or the online projects. And often money is a barrier. It’s like The Company, which apparently had a few people enthralled. I know where the story goes and where it ends, but I just couldn’t get around to finishing it. I need to finish things more often.

20. I still want to write and direct a porn movie

Recently, I noticed the fine folks at Treasure Island Media posted its first attempts at stealthing. In the end, I believe someone felt it “too controversial” to go on the DVD, but having watched the scene, it simply lacked the spark.

When Hollywood does big films about the Navy, they bring in technical advisers from (get this) the Navy. Part of the problem I saw was bottom could easily tell the top clumsily took the condom off. The fucking went on. It didn’t “read” like a legit stealthing.

That, among other controversial themes, are things I might explore. Should someone ever give me a chance.

19. I have no tolerance for stupid questions

For some reason of late, I’ve been getting more and more visitors who find this whole “blog” thing foreign to them. Among the young men in Las Vegas who said he might be interested in being my bottom, he liked my “page” but started asking a dozen questions about me. This here blog contains more information about me than you’d ever want to know. I referred him back to the blog, for which he said he did not want to invest the time in reading.

In fact, the little prick sent just one tiny faceless pic (as you can see) then responded with the following: “Thanks for the website and the warnings, but I did not really get to see what you look like or what your stats are. After hunting around the website for about 20 minutes I came across a few stats that could be you or someone you described as 6ft and 180lbs.”

Okay, as a little help, dumbass. In the future, look at the top of EVERY FUCKING PAGE and you’ll see something called navigation. It happens to have an entry called “About Me.” If you click it, you might find that for which you’re looking.

I hate it when someone who thinks he’s good-looking, young and full-of-himself somehow thinks himself special enough for me to mindmeld and figure out what the fuck he wants from me. He kept insisting I send him a variety of photos of myself and he would consider going bare, as he was usually a safe sex Nazi.

18. Despite how it reads sometimes, I’m a nice guy

Yes, I can be an asshole. But most would attest I am a nice guy. Anyone? Bueller? Please post your “yes Mark is a nice guy” in the comments if you’ve met me.

17. Fuck it

I know this is a little offensive, but occasionally fucking the younger folk less than half my age makes for fun and, well, makes me feel a little flattered. On the other hand, people closer to my age aren’t quite as flattering, no matter how good their shape.

16. How am I going to figure out 15 more?

I’m struggling for 30. What the fuck am I going to write for the next 15. I guess we’ll find out tomorrow, my birthday, when I turn 45. Maybe early Alzheimer’s will set in and I’ll just repeat myself.

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Don't be a dick

Breaking the Silence: Seeking Sufficient ROI from My Friends

So where have I been?

Some of you might have seen me on Twitter with occasional posts. Not much elsewhere. As I’ve struggled over the last few months, exerting myself upon multiple fronts to find an occupation for myself, the results failed to be fruitful. Each provided a life lesson for me. And I sit upon the precipice and ponder the path I’ve taken.

I use people, most specifically bottoms for my own pleasure. As I have ventured a little further in recent times, I’ve opened myself up to a little more sensation but still, my intention is to mark my territory. I won’t settle for a condom, insisting that my cock slide raw into an ass and spray my DNA markers in that most intimate of places to say I was here.

I’ve never been delusional about how the world works as well. While lacking the literal fucking and breeding, I’ve been proverbially bent over and marked through my life in many ways. And I let it happen. Perhaps my own need to breed back is my response to how society decided to use my intelligence, creativity and good will.

Now approaching eight months of unemployment, struggling with comprehending why my talents are overqualified and too advanced for today’s workforce, I find myself questioning much. And then comes the sexual side of it all. The other night, I lay beneath a young man just making out. And a sensation came across like someone flipped on a switch I’d not felt in eons. Of course, we all feel it on occasion.

A lunch arrangement and then when the time comes, it’s postponed and finally cancelled with a stinging “it was a mistake” to even suggest meeting. A sudden flash of anger and hurt then returned to calm as I’ve been here before, kicked to the curb for dropping my guard and giving humanity hope for a moment.

If only I’d bred him when I had the chance. My territory went unmarked.

A realization came over me about the number of people who use me as well. My so-called friends who only use me for their benefit and return so little back. Karma?

Funny because I’ve been cutting some people out of my life. If I don’t see enough Return On Investment from my friends, well, they’re getting kicked to the curb as well.

As a result, I think Karma has kicked my ass-supply. I’ve found it dwindles some, of late. I’m sure some cum-hungry sluts find the ass use a mutually beneficial relationship, but my one-off, use your ass as a masturbation device doesn’t often work that well.

Part of me still hopes for a buddy in Atlanta who can fuck, hang out, bareback, etc. I don’t see it happening. And that occasional need for affinity comes and goes. But perhaps I should stick to an equation, a simple mathematical value of what I get for what I give.

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Trip-Up with Travelling

Looking at the next few months, I will be in my “office” all of three days over a two-month period. My travel will largely be a series of hops, from one city to another, criss-crossing the country a few times.

Part of me wants to connect with a few online friends. Okay. Let’s be honest. I don’t want to meet them. I want to fuck them. I don’t want to make friends. I want to leave my seed in each ass.

Should I? Should I meet some folks who read me? Enough people know who I am to know I’m “real.” And as I’ve entered into the barebacking blogosphere, it appears to be a collective concern among some of my fellow writers (consider Matt & Dan and Raw College Jock Slut). There’s a concern unveiling the man behind the curtain. Would iBLASTinside go from being the Wizard of Raw to an old man at a keyboard?

Moreover, beside a collection of haters out there, some so-called “fans” have already garnered less than flattering attention. I guess that’s part of advocating sex without condoms or, fuck, advocating sex at all. A lot of uptight Americans can’t just live and let live.

So here we are with me trying to decide what to do. I’ve already got a couple of fucks lined up and, to be honest, it will be more reliable than Craigslist. Then again, if I don’t click with the guy, there’s a possibility of backlash. But it’s just a fuck. I’m not dating anyone. In fact, I probably don’t want to spend more than an hour with anyone — if that.

What do you think? Fuck my way across the country with Twitter or cast my luck with Craigslist? Or both?

ONE NOTE

If you are a porn star or you can help make any of my XXX wishes come true, I’ll absolutely make every effort to squeeze you in… or is that squeeze into you?