Tag Archives: online profile

Helping You Out

Helping You Out

Here’s a collection of miscellaneous things that bug me about online profiles:

“Not to be racist but…” or “It’s just a matter of taste…”

Truth is, you’re about to be racist. When’s the last time you read, “Not to be racist but I really only fuck Asians.”

Too much of what men write is what they exclude, not what they include.

Men can’t be blondes

Men are only blonds. It’s one of the few examples where the masculine and feminine matters in the English language. Females are blonde, men are blond. Fucking kills me every time I see it. And speaking of color…

No one’s 50 shades of grey

Unfortunately, our language is getting fucked up thanks to people being unable to figure out Grey is normally a name (it is in the book as it is for anatomy, both the original book and the television show). The official color is gray with an “A.”

HMU DTF

So “hit me up” I’m “down to fuck”? Really? Up and down? I want to go in and out.

“Breeding” means raw

It amazes me when I post an ad somewhere about “loading” or “breeding” an ass and then I get the “safe only” response. Even more amazing is the request that they “just suck me off.”

Uh, no. I’m here for the ass, not for the mouth.

When I say “potent cum,” what do you think I mean?

I’m just asking.

Sup

Fuck you.

What’s up with the abbreviation for etcetera?

If you’re going to go on and on, it’s etc. not ect.

The contractions get me

Please, if you will not go somewhere, you won’t go there… And you want to go elsewhere.

Also, there is no way that there are people out there who don’t understands there’s some contractions out there that the masses seem to misunderstand.

For the most part, I find barebackers are good people; they are often misunderstood and they’re accused of being spreaders of disease and woe. Truth is, barebackers just know their cocks and asses provide a gateway to happiness. Theirs is a life of freedom.

Don’t cry to yo mama

I make it extraordinarily clear that I say some nasty shit when I breed ass. I’m verbal as I approach orgasm.

Just recently it happened again, but this time the fucker didn’t have a choice. I’d mounted him and his little 5-foot-7 frame couldn’t go anywhere. As I am thrusting inside him, I began some of the most horrific things you can say to a bottom.

I’d warned him. Clearly. He knew I’d say things.

He didn’t respond or beg or even whimper. I knew he just wanted it over.

I growled and let it go in his ass, leaning over into his ear: “You asked for this.”

smokerAnd don’t try to lie

I know when someone lies to me. Sometimes I choose to ignore it. Other times, I call the fucker out.

Another thing I make clear is no smokers. All the time, people try to get around it.

“Oh damn,” a guy says the other day after begging me to fuck him. He’d claimed to be a fan and, well, sent me a pic of himself, of all things… smoking. “I quit in May. You won’t smell it on me. I promise.”

Men are known for their veracity. I’m always telling the truth to fuck ass. And I’m sure you’re telling the truth to get cock.

May? Why didn’t you go for last June?

Anyway, he got cut off.

Yes, you fuckers can go ahead and try to mask the smell with cologne and mouthwash, but allow me to point out a couple of salient points:

  • You’ve dulled your senses with smoking so you can’t fucking smell the shit on you.
  • Because the smell adheres everywhere, it’s usually on you in someway.
  • And even more apparent, your lungs are saturated so when you exhale, it can be smelled.
  • It’s even within your bodily fluids like spit, sweat and especially cum (which can stink like a mutherfucker).

Grindr is for babies

What the fuck is up with Grindr?

  1. It doesn’t work.
  2. It has children on it.
  3. It doesn’t work.
  4. The children on it aren’t interested in “hooking up.”
  5. It doesn’t work.

You’re a hooker if you’re shirtless without wildlife

I live in the South, so it’s not odd for me to see photos of people holding up fish, frogs or other creatures from some Redneck hunting expedition while being shirtless. Some gay men post these images as proof of butchness, although when you’re sucking my cock or taking my raw, rockhard cock up your ass and begging for my cum like the little bitch you are, you’re not so butch.

However, if you’re shirtless on any hook-up site or app — this means you, you little Grindr children — and then you add that you’re not here to “hook up,” you’re a hypocrite and a liar.

I don’t shave my balls because I don’t like hair

Lick the sack for larger snack.

My hairy sack tends to get in the way of allowing people to find my spots to give me a lot more pleasure. And the more pleasure I get, the bigger the load they get.

And I shoot big loads, with or without a little licky licky.

Why do you think a barebacker should compromise?

Sometimes I get a horny bottom who insists on a condom, who wants me to fuck them but expects me to be the one to compromise with a condom.

No.

Why should I be the one to compromise?

DDF? Of course!

Everyone online is DDF and clean. Fuck. I’m clean. I took a shower yesterday.

I’ve never seen anyone ever answer other than, “Yes, I’m DDF.” It’s a useless stat. I’ve seen people proudly declare they’re poz or “poz and undetectable,” but I’ve never, ever seen anyone answer the truth when it comes to status.

“Oh I’ve got the clap and a small case of the crabs. It will clear up in a few days.”

“Look, the Valtrex seems to be working. Don’t worry about the Herpes. It’s not like I’m gonna give you the nose-falling-off syphilis.”

Seriously, guys. If you’re “DDF and looking for same,” all you’re going to get is lies.

Understand the status

I’m glad to see more and more people who get the difference between “undetectable and on meds” and “neg, tested 1/13/14.”

Which would you rather fuck?

The answer should be undetectable.

The neg guy hasn’t been tested in more than six months. Cum on.

Curious about the Truvada whores

How many of you “Neg+PrEP” are really on PrEP and how many of you are “Now Neg + Taking Meds”?

 

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To Serve and Protect? You’ve Got to Be Fucking Kidding! I’m Here to Fuck and Breed

To Serve and Protect? You’ve Got to Be Fucking Kidding! I’m Here to Fuck and Breed

[alert style=”green”]From my recent support of Nick Roberts and his blog on barebacking Opens a new window from this blog, some people are a little confused. I got a couple of comments Opens a new window from this blog:

 

Kristofer Juffer writes

“YOU PROTECT YOU – NOT ME PROTECT YOU. It’s your body, your choice.”

If you agree with this, why support actively go against people’s attempts at protecting themselves with stealthing? If a bottom wants to use a condom, and the top puts it on, and the bottom keeps feeling to make sure it’s there, but you’ve popped through the tip and there is nothing short of pulling out and looking at it after each thrust…how should one protect themselves then?

If “It’s your body, your choice,” why promote something that actively goes against that choice?

 

Donald writes

Your comment confused me.  You prefer to have bareback sex and will purposely fool a bottom by having unprotected sex with him even when the bottom gives you a condom and expects you do to the right thing…the bottom is protecting himself but you are stealthing to get your own needs met. Please explain.[/alert]

 

To Protect and Serve

I’ve written about this a few times Opens a new window from this blog but I guess I’ll help some of you through this again.

It is not my job to protect you. I am not the police. I am not here to “protect and serve.” I fuck. I want only to enjoy myself. Sex therapists will tell you you’re accountable for your own orgasm. I’m not here to make sure you have a good time. We’re not in a relationship. You’re seen the abbreviation “NSA”; it means “no strings action.” I want no strings. I want no emotional entanglements.

If you expect anonymous sex with a perfect stranger to be trustworthy, to hook-up with someone you’ve just met and for them to be 100 percent honest about their weight, their age, their name (if one’s given), their penis size and their “disease-free” status, you’re a fucking lunatic.

If you’re going to an adult bookstore or hooking up online and you “trust” someone not to sabotage a condom to stealth, to slip the condom off or expect that the “safe sex only” moniker included as a part of their online profile means they’re really going to protect you, please go ahead and hand them your wallet, your car keys and your bank account numbers. I’m sure they’ll give everything back later.

You somehow think handing a wallet then turning your back on things will protect you.

It’s not my job to protect someone I just met.

I am accountable to only me and I’ve chosen not to “protect” myself. In fact, I will do everything possible to assure that my cumload will go into a raw ass.

It is your job to protect yourself.

“You protect you. Not me protect you.”

I have never agreed to use a condom. I do not want to use one. I have no responsibility to you. I don’t know you, I don’t want to know you and I just want to use your asshole to get off.

I make no agreement to use a condom. If the bottom assumes that handing me a condom means that I’ll put it on and use it responsibly in an adult bookstore or a sex club in a darkroom, he’s got another thing coming.

I’ve been writing this blog for a long, long time. But some of you seem to hate my stealthing and miss the fucking point I make about it. If you have figured it out (and those of you who’ve I met and clued in do not count), then write a comment.

It all boils down to the basics: You don’t want to get your ass bred, do not bend your ass over for a stranger.

Other of you blind with rage, please, just let it consume you. And I’ll keep telling everyone how to stealth Opens a new window from this blog.

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