Mark notes: I received this as a comment to my original post about Rage Against the Bossy Bottom . I’ve since also written Revenge of the Rage Against the Bossy Bottom with a few more things that bothered me.
I got a note from Ryan, a bottom who follows me on Twitter. After reading my Rage entries, Ryan had some interesting feedback. This was unsolicited and he provided it.
I’ve posted Ryan’s proposed Eleven Commandments then edited them to make them sound more commanding. Bottoms just don’t know how to make things sound like it’s not a request or nice. That is, unless they’re a bossy bitch.
By a Bottom for All Bottoms
With Notes from Mark aka iBLASTinside
Sorry about these experiences. It’s shameful, to be honest.
There are a lot of “bottoms” out there giving us real bottoms a bad reputation. This in turn makes it harder for genuine bottoms to do what we do best because a blight gets cast over us a group. Consequently, solid tops (and even versatile tops) have to play mind-reader games in order to figure out if the person they’re talking to is really what they claim to be (a bottom).
The guys you’re describing need to be honest with themselves. They aren’t bottoms, they’re versatile bottoms (at best). They’re holding on to way too many mental assumptions that do not belong to total bottoms.
Put another way, they’re thinking (at least in some vestigial sense) with the mindset of a top, and they can’t have it both ways. Bottoms aren’t — by definition — supposed to be bossy. That’s the top’s job. And you are rightly irritated when they step out of their role.
There are certain things one must mean when one claims to be a bottom. I call them my Eleven Commandments of a True Bottom. And since I am a true bottom, if you (a top) disagree with them, my job is to change them.
The Eleven Commandments of a True Bottom
1. If you’re going to bottom, come prepared to bottom.
Be clean, be committed, be submissive. Do not, however, be lubed.
Mark notes: I believe a true bottom always strives to be clean. I have one bottom friend who shower shots when he gets up in the morning and when he gets home from work and, if he’s at home, right after every shit, whether or not there’s a plan for a fuck in the near future. He also carries a portable douche with him everywhere he goes. The idea being he never knows when a fuck might show up. He literally has an open-door policy (he used to sleep with his door unlocked so men could come in during the night and fuck him but after a few things went missing, he had to revise that).
Therefore, if I were writing this, it would be… Thou Shalt Always Be Prepared to Bottom
2. Why? Because the top chooses the lube.
It’s your job to bring some. But many discerning tops only want to use spit, so you may have to take him without lube and with more friction. Deal with it.
Mark notes: I truly appreciate your approach here. Pisses me off when a bottom expects me to bring supplies (and I prefer spit as lube anyway). Further, I recommend the bottom provide all the supplies — lube, poppers, towels, etc. There’s nothing nicer than a bottom who gets me off and when I roll off him, he sucks me clean then he gets up, brings a warm wash cloth and wipes up my cock then dries me off. That is full service. I’d recommend the following selections:
Lube (each clearly marked)
Poppers (to keep fresh, please keep in darkness)
- Jungle Juice Platinum
- A fourth option like Jungle Juice Black Label, Pig Sweat or Taiwan Blue.
Therefore, if I were to write this, it would read… Thou Shalt Provide All Supplies a Top Might Require
3. Assume that if you have a gag reflex and can’t take his cock all the way down your throat, that your ass will just have to make up for what your mouth can’t do.
Getting your dick sucked, ass rimmed and/or fingered is at the top’s discretion. Understand if he sucks your dick, it’s because he like to suck dick…it just happens to be your dick. And understand that if he takes the time to rim you, you’re about to get fucked the way he wants to fuck you.
Mark notes: I rarely rim and even more rarely suck cock. And if I kiss you, well then I really like you. One of the things that I’ve not put on my Bossy Bottom lists is when the cunts ask if I’ll rim or blow them. First, see Commandment Number 1. If that ass isn’t fucking pristine, my mouth isn’t going near it. My nose tells me whether it’s okay to go in for a lick. Then if I taste anything bitter, um, I’m not taking a second lick.
On the other hand, I am generally clean. I might not be fresh out of the shower. Your job, if I want you to, is to suck me hard. If my ass isn’t clean, I’ll never send a bottom down there. but I’ve had plenty of bottoms volunteer to lick my funky ass. Your choice. Just know I’m not kissing you after that, no matter how much I like you (or how much mouthwash you use later).
If I were to write this, it would say… Thou Shalt Not Demand Any Assistance to Prepare for Being Fucked But Thou Shalt Help a Top Prepare to Fuck
4. If your top wants you to blow a load before he fucks you, get to work jerking it.
Yes, we know it’s going to hurt more when he fucks you after you’ve already nutted. If he’s asking, it’s obviously the point that he knows that and wants your hole super sensitive so that you really earn his cum. Time for you to bite that pillow.
Mark notes: Now I already figured I wanted to fuck Ryan (author of the bottom half of this piece). Now I know I do. I’ve made bottoms bite the pillow and take me after they’ve popped off because they’re not patient for me to cum first. I stay hard after I cum and I like working my DNA in deeper. But actually jerking off before I start fucking?
I personally think there’s nothing hotter than a bottom who cums on my cock and lets me fuck him with his own cum.
My version… Thou Shalt Cum When, Where and By What Means the Top Demands
5. Your top has control of a lot, but whether you moan while being fucked isn’t always one of them.
Some bottoms can just take more than others and vocalize that proportionally. That said, if he wants you to talk to him, he’ll fuck it out of you. And if all you can say during the first few thrusts is “ouch,” or “slow down,” or “easy,” expect him to put you face-down on the mattress or stick his underwear in your mouth. He has to fuck his way through the pain so you can start to feel the pleasure, so stop running away.
Mark notes: Thou Shalt Vocalize Pleasure and Not Pain, Unless Your Top Demands Silence
6. Stop it already with putting your hands against his hips or stomach to try to control his depth/speed/roughness.
Bottoming is what you came here for, get to it.
Mark notes: Now I’m not huge but I am hard and, for some bottoms, that’s a challenge (I don’t know why because it goes in easier than some softy you have to grasp by the base and shove inside). I will normally give a bottom a few moments to adjust to my cock.
After that, shut up and take it.
Along with this trying to stop it is when a bottom grabs my hips and tries to get me in deeper.
My commandment version… Thou Shalt Allow the Top to Penetrate as Deep, as Rough and at the Pace He Wishes
7. Don’t worry about jacking yourself off.
Focus on the pain and the pleasure your top is giving you with his cock. If your top wants you to get off, he’ll either tell you to stroke it, or he’ll do it for you. It’s not his job to make you cum, it’s his job to fuck you how he wants to. The better job you do, the more likely he might let you cum while he’s still inside you. Earn it.
Mark notes: Oh how much it pisses me off to have a bottom playing with his own nipples or jerking his cock or, worse, both. And I’m having to maintain balance for us both. Meanwhile, he accidentally brushes his hand against my balls and notices I like that and then goes back to jerking his own cock? You’ve got to be fucking kidding me?
Thou Shalt Not Touch Yourself Unless Ordered to Do So by the Top
8. Don’t try to take charge.
Your top sets the pace. Don’t back up onto the cock unless he tells you to. Your top is not an amusement park ride, you are. He’ll let you know if he wants you to drive.
Mark notes: This one overlaps a little with Commandment Number 6 so we’re going to change it up a little because I think I know what the bottom means here.
There was this terrific bottom I fucked for a while and his ass just really knocked my socks off. Where he excelled happened to be when he’d be in the crab position above my cock and just ride the cum out of me. Literally. He did it once. I loved it.
I told him to do it again the next time I fucked him. He made a half-ass attempt for like a minute then switched positions and pace on me, even when I told him what I wanted.
Then there’s been bottoms who grind their cock into the bed when I’m riding them in my favorite position. I tell them to stop moving and let me do all the work. I want to shoot off in their ass. Don’t move. Just hold still and let me use them to get myself off in their ass. But they don’t. They’re thinking moving against my fuck is good, even when I tell them just to hold still.
It’s even better when I let a bottom try to get me off with his ass if he’ll ask if this is better. Go faster? Go deeper? Shut up? Just pay attention to me. You should figure it out.
Thou Shalt Do as the Top Commands at All Times, Pay Attention and Ask If It’s Unclear
9. Don’t be stupid.
Unless you have some prearranged, agreed upon commitment about something, it’s the top’s show. He picks the positions. He picks the bed, floor, shower, etc. And he picks where his load ends up. You can ask, but don’t natter away and make him regret picking you over the other guy that was just as hot.
Mark notes: My dear bottom finds himself struggling a little with this one, so I’ll first say what I think fits best…
Thou Shalt Anticipate a Top’s Needs
It’s like I wrote about in my last Bossy Bottom piece. I’m on my way to cumming and the fucking bottom interrupts me. I’d fucked him before and he should have paid attention to know what it is that I’d preferred, how I liked to cum and then allowed me to shoot. Instead he interrupted me. He was stupid. He didn’t anticipate that I needed him just to enjoy the ride instead of worrying about his pleasures.
10. Don’t let your mouth write checks your ass can’t cash, so be careful what you say.
Don’t say “anything goes” unless you mean it. Don’t say “fuck me harder” unless you want to feel his girth for the next week. If you call your top “Daddy”, or “Sir”, or “Papi”, or whatever, be ready for any role play that follows. Don’t bitch about it if you call him “Sir,” only to have him put your ass hole through a Seal training boot camp. Your ass belongs to him until he’s done with it.
Mark notes: Oh, this one is too fucking true. A great example is an entry I wrote quite a while back in my Dark Passenger series . The young man told me he wanted some tit torture, I told him what I would do, he was gung ho for it, he showed up, I did it and he cried like a little bitch.
I see entries online all the time that bottoms will do “anything” except blood and scat. Do you guys realize how fucking wide open that is? You start talking to them and you soon find out it also includes no permanent scarring, no bruises, no hitting, no spanking, piss only with beer or water, time limit of two hours or less, no women, no transgender, no animals, no shaving, no bondage, must use a safe word, no drugs, etc.
If Thou Asks It, Thy Top May or May Not Grant It
And one other thing. You call me “Daddy” only if I could actually be your “Daddy” — meaning you better be in your twenties. Then I’ll call you “son” or “boy.” And while I’m completely familiar with the Leather Community and the Sir/boy relationships, I do struggle with men my senior begging to be called “boy.”
I’ll give you whatever title I want to give you. Just because you think that word recaptures your youth, it doesn’t.
11. It isn’t about you, it’s about the top. Period.
Really understanding this eliminates the need for the other ten.
Mark notes: Amen brother. Preach it.
Thou Shalt Focus All Thyself on The Top
The most successful bottoms have always expressed this. There’s this joy that comes from them — their jizzjoy — from the cum deposited in their ass. When I cum and I hear a bottom sigh from that, I know I’ve got someone who really enjoys what I do.
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