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What Is Rape?

What Is Rape?

I get a fucking lot of accusations in my inbox. Often. Here’s one of the more interesting:

When I was 18, a top I met off phone chat had me come to his place. When I arrived, he was much older than described…

I get inside he immediately grabs my head and slams it against door then rapes me raw. He degraded me racially, calling me nasty Asian slurs.

After he was done, he hid my cell phone and keys and kept me for 15 days.

I was used as sex slave to pay for his meth addiction and infected. A black man felt bad and freed me — the only one out of 65 RAPISTS.

I went to police and he was arrested. But [during my captivity], he sent texts to his cell from mine saying everything was consensual AND IT WASN’T.

He now walks free and I hate him and, because of [the AIDS] virus, I no longer date.

I hate you, Mark, and all other violent predators.

For some of you perverts out there (and you know I love you all), you’re jerking off just thinking about this scenario. But let’s get to this Asian gentleman’s message to me and splice it apart, step by step.

Rape Is Bad

I do not believe this story. Here’s why I don’t:

If this 18-year-old gentleman disappeared for 15 days, his family, friends or others would have noticed. Sure, this violent man might have created some text messages back and forth, but those messages would have occurred after the disappearance. Any cell phone records could show that.

Further, in many states, to knowingly pass along HIV is criminal. HIV maintains a portion of the DNA from the source. A test could determine whether the victim was indeed infected by the older man.

I believe the consent likely came from this young man before the disappearance. He told some friends and family he would be gone a while — probably not 15 days — and after a while, came not to like the scene he’d fantasized about because the reality wasn’t quite and fun as the jerk off images.

I’ve seen that often and any of you with any level of kinks would agree.

Nonetheless, if I suspend my disbelief, let me just say if this is true, this is bad.

Let me also suggest to the writer that — unlike my website, which is about sex — that the guy who kidnapped you and held you captive, did that violent act to you. It wasn’t the sex, but the power play that you didn’t like (and the fact he was older than he initially said).

Safety in Hook-Ups

The dear letter writer made a gigantic boo-boo, for which he fails to take accountability. And I get so fucking tired of hearing this shit from people who read some of my posts.

Every time someone goes to a stranger’s home or hotel room or wherever to fuck, you’re taking a risk. Didn’t mamma teach you not to talk to strangers, much less fuck them (or let them fuck you)?

Gay men … damn, all men … love casual sex. We let our cocks put us into places we shouldn’t be. I’ve been there. And this guy ended up some place he shouldn’t have been.

Do not blame anyone else for that.

I’m not saying he dressed slutty so he should have been raped or anything like that. He didn’t deserve to be held hostage for 15 days — if indeed, that’s what happened.

But he’s not innocent.

He want to blame the car for hitting him head on when he was already driving on the wrong side of the road. He did something dangerous.

Fucker beware

I No Longer Date

Oh. My. God. Being Poz prevents this little fucker from dating.

All of you Poz guys out there need to stop dating, stop fucking and curl up into a ball and just shit yourselves.

Another reason not to believe this story: The idea that life ends with seroconversion. Hell, for some, becoming Poz means life begins. No longer worried about when HIV might arrive, but knowing that it’s now there with you.

(As an aside, I’m impressed the dude also counted all 65 guys who fucked him.)

If indeed this is true, let me speak to you, my Asian letter writer:

You need to speak with a professional and go into counseling for this trauma.

You need to find a way to move on, date and find a way to heal. The amount of pent up hate you’ve gathered up into yourself is preventing you from seeing that life continues. You survived something terrible but not everyone is out to hurt you.

Jumping Off the Hate Cliff

Now he says I am out to hurt him. I’m some sort of predator.

I’m not. Never have been.

If you’re upset about the stealthing thing, I’ve explained it time and time again and don’t really need to do it again.

If you’re upset that I use bottoms, all tops do whether they admit it or not.

I just think you’re upset. And once the proper counseling is in place, you’ll be better off.

I didn’t fuck you. I didn’t abduct you. I didn’t hold you hostage. Don’t hate me.

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Older than a 40-Year-Old Virgin

Older than a 40-Year-Old Virgin

When I post on Craigslist, I’ll often get messages from virgins. Generally, that doesn’t bother me. Popping a cherry can be enjoyable in more ways than one.

More often than not, I’ll be the “first” to break a hole in bareback. True that I don’t believe this. While I’m out about my stealthing Opens a new window from this blog, I believe many more tops do it and don’t confess their sin (and I’ve heard from them).

Among the weirdest requests I’ll receive: Break in my 50-year-old virgin ass.

I got such a request today.

First, I cannot fathom someone denying themselves the urge to fill their carnal desires for what amounts to 36 or so years (depending when puberty really kicked in). There’s a societal norm that urges men toward marrying a woman and fucking her pussy, but if you’re a bottom (or a top), I just can’t see keeping your ass (or dick) dry all that time and not experiencing it.

Second, denying yourself that urge through your teens, twenties, thirties and forties to end up in your fifties and beyond, when your ass sags just seems wrong (FYI, my ass is starting to sag, so don’t give me shit about saying that). There’s something mentally deranged about now, in your fifties, thinking, “I’m ready to get fucked.”

Third, do you think I’d think you’re serious after denying those urges for so long that now you’re really going to let some anonymous Craigslist hookup breed your ass? Some guys tend to respond to almost everything. And after a minute, I recognize them so much, I employ filters to weed out their replies. One such replier I did today. He was in his mid-forties, asking for his first fucking. Over the past few years, he’d replied to my ads over a dozen times. I’ve engaged him a few only for him to disappear.

While he might not be into barebacking, between 2009 and today, he’d likely found someone in the Atlanta area to fuck him. He’s not a virgin (unless he’s pretending). I think it’s more likely he’s jerking off to the fantasy of being fucked and not going through with it.

In the end, I have a policy on men older than 40 asking for their rotten cherries to be popped: Hire a hooker. I’m not available to teach you.

It’s nothing to do with being ageist. As I’ve indicated, I’m an equal opportunity fucker Opens a new window from this blog  and, if you match my basics Opens a new window from this blog, I’ll breed you. However, I don’t want to teach old men how to take cock because at their beyond ripe years, they’re probably not serious about it. The only way to prove seriousness — pay for it.

               

I do have one unusual note here. I knew a man who waited until his wife and kids were dead before starting his Gay life. In his seventies, we called him the “lizard man” because of the lizard boots he wore. He had the most horrible smell since he smoked so much. How he made it so long, we never knew. We also never quite figured out what happened that his kids were dead before him.

Nonetheless, the lesson here… don’t wait. Fuck now.

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Blogs, Search Terms and Pages for iBLASTinside Visitors in October 2012

The Websites that Get You Here

I find this stuff interesting and I thought I’d share it for those of you who gives a shit (and might like to check out other destinations). These are the sources of referrals from other websites that come to iBLASTinside.com. This is the top 10 of the ones that send folks to my blog.

Twitter referrals — everyone and anyone, since Twitter converts all URLs to the t.co domain…  a jump The Big Riser from #3 in September.

Confessions of a Bareback Sauna Slut Blog from Josh Landale maintains his second spot in September.

Referrals from Facebook jumps The Big Riser from #6 in September.

My Tumblr account at Barebacking.Tumblr.com drops On a downward trend from the #1 position because I haven’t been posting there as much.

RentBoy.com appears out of no where. I can’t seem to find anyone I’ve written about to get here, but I’m always glad to get the traffic.

My other Tumblr account, BarebackOne.Tumblr.com, falls On a downward trend two spots.

Reddit inches up The Big Riser one spot.

Tumblr blog BBottom appears in the top 10.

SmoothButtforMatureTops blog makes it back The Big Riser into the top 10.

One Step At A Time blog appears in the top 10 thanks to a reference to my Bathhouse Tips for a Newbie. Unfortunately, the blogger is not in favor of barebacking, but good thing he’s open minded enough to use my blog as a reference.

 

The Pages You Look at Most

The top viewed pages for the month shows readers’ interest. In October, these were the pages visitors looked at most often.

Guide to Gloryhole Etiquette (Same for second month.)

Guide to Visiting a Gay Bathhouse The Big Riser (Jump one from the #3 spot.)

iBLASTinside Bareback Theater On a downward trend (Down one from the #2 spot.)

Loading Zone: Stealthing a Drunk 19-Year-Old Top The Big Riser (Premier in the top 10.)

How to Meet and Get Fucked by Mark Bentson (Same for second month.)

Inserection Adult Bookstore in Atlanta (Same for second month.)

Top 10 Stealthing Tips On a downward trend (Down three from #4 spot.)

Poppers and Persuasion: A Guide The Big Riser (Up two from the #10 spot.)

Bareback Movie Gallery On a downward trend (Down one from #8 spot.)

Guide to the Sleazy Side of Atlanta On a downward trend (Down one from #9 spot.)

 

The Terms You Google to Get Here

Here are the top 10 search terms in September 2012.

iblastinside (same)

bareback blog (same for second month)

glory hole etiquette The Big Riser (#9, up six)

iblastinside.comThe Big Riser (returns to top 10)

gay sauna tumblrThe Big Riser (premier in top 10)

glory hole etiquette The Big Riser (returns to top 10)

i blast inside The Big Riser (#8, up one)

bareback blogs The Big Riser (premier in top 10)

gay incest tumblrThe Big Riser (premier in top 10)

gay bareback blog The Big Riser (premier in top 10)

 

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The Eleven Commandments of a True Bottom

The Eleven Commandments of a True Bottom
(by a Bottom, for All Bottoms)

 Mark notes: I received this as a comment to my original post about Rage Against the Bossy Bottom Opens a new window from this blog. I’ve since also written Revenge of the Rage Against the Bossy Bottom Opens a new window from this blog with a few more things that bothered me.

I got a note from Ryan, a bottom who follows me on Twitter. After reading my Rage entries, Ryan had some interesting feedback. This was unsolicited and he provided it. 

I’ve posted Ryan’s proposed Eleven Commandments then edited them to make them sound more commanding. Bottoms just don’t know how to make things sound like it’s not a request or nice. That is, unless they’re a bossy bitch.

          

By a Bottom for All Bottoms

With Notes from Mark aka iBLASTinside

Ryan's Hole... the ultimate bottom's holeSorry about these experiences. It’s shameful, to be honest.

There are a lot of “bottoms” out there giving us real bottoms a bad reputation. This in turn makes it harder for genuine bottoms to do what we do best because a blight gets cast over us a group. Consequently, solid tops (and even versatile tops) have to play mind-reader games in order to figure out if the person they’re talking to is really what they claim to be (a bottom).

The guys you’re describing need to be honest with themselves. They aren’t bottoms, they’re versatile bottoms (at best). They’re holding on to way too many mental assumptions that do not belong to total bottoms.

Put another way, they’re thinking (at least in some vestigial sense) with the mindset of a top, and they can’t have it both ways. Bottoms aren’t — by definition — supposed to be bossy. That’s the top’s job. And you are rightly irritated when they step out of their role.

There are certain things one must mean when one claims to be a bottom. I call them my Eleven Commandments of a True Bottom. And since I am a true bottom, if you (a top) disagree with them, my job is to change them.

The Eleven Commandments of a True Bottom

1. If you’re going to bottom, come prepared to bottom.

Naked Man in ShowerBe clean, be committed, be submissive. Do not, however, be lubed.

 Mark notes: I believe a true bottom always strives to be clean. I have one bottom friend who shower shots when he gets up in the morning and when he gets home from work and, if he’s at home, right after every shit, whether or not there’s a plan for a fuck in the near future. He also carries a portable douche with him everywhere he goes. The idea being he never knows when a fuck might show up. He literally has an open-door policy (he used to sleep with his door unlocked so men could come in during the night and fuck him but after a few things went missing, he had to revise that).

Therefore, if I were writing this, it would be… Thou Shalt Always Be Prepared to Bottom

2. Why? Because the top chooses the lube.

It’s your job to bring some. But many discerning tops only want to use spit, so you may have to take him without lube and with more friction. Deal with it.

 Mark notes: I truly appreciate your approach here. Pisses me off when a bottom expects me to bring supplies (and I prefer spit as lube anyway). Further, I recommend the bottom provide all the supplies — lube, poppers, towels, etc. There’s nothing nicer than a bottom who gets me off and when I roll off him, he sucks me clean then he gets up, brings a warm wash cloth and wipes up my cock then dries me off. That is full service. I’d recommend the following selections:

Lube (each clearly marked)

Poppers (to keep fresh, please keep in darkness)

  • English
  • Amsterdam
  • Jungle Juice Platinum
  • A fourth option like Jungle Juice Black Label, Pig Sweat or Taiwan Blue.

Therefore, if I were to write this, it would read… Thou Shalt Provide All Supplies a Top Might Require

3. Assume that if you have a gag reflex and can’t take his cock all the way down your throat, that your ass will just have to make up for what your mouth can’t do.

The bottom is responsible to get the top hardGetting your dick sucked, ass rimmed and/or fingered is at the top’s discretion. Understand if he sucks your dick, it’s because he like to suck dick…it just happens to be your dick. And understand that if he takes the time to rim you, you’re about to get fucked the way he wants to fuck you.

 Mark notes: I rarely rim and even more rarely suck cock. And if I kiss you, well then I really like you. One of the things that I’ve not put on my Bossy Bottom lists is when the cunts ask if I’ll rim or blow them. First, see Commandment Number 1. If that ass isn’t fucking pristine, my mouth isn’t going near it. My nose tells me whether it’s okay to go in for a lick. Then if I taste anything bitter, um, I’m not taking a second lick.

 On the other hand, I am generally clean. I might not be fresh out of the shower. Your job, if I want you to, is to suck me hard. If my ass isn’t clean, I’ll never send a bottom down there. but I’ve had plenty of bottoms volunteer to lick my funky ass. Your choice. Just know I’m not kissing you after that, no matter how much I like you (or how much mouthwash you use later).

If I were to write this, it would say… Thou Shalt Not Demand Any Assistance to Prepare for Being Fucked But Thou Shalt Help a Top Prepare to Fuck

4. If your top wants you to blow a load before he fucks you, get to work jerking it.

The bottom may be asked to blow a load first.Yes, we know it’s going to hurt more when he fucks you after you’ve already nutted. If he’s asking, it’s obviously the point that he knows that and wants your hole super sensitive so that you really earn his cum. Time for you to bite that pillow.

  Mark notes: Now I already figured I wanted to fuck Ryan (author of the bottom half of this piece). Now I know I do. I’ve made bottoms bite the pillow and take me after they’ve popped off because they’re not patient for me to cum first. I stay hard after I cum and I like working my DNA in deeper. But actually jerking off before I start fucking?

I personally think there’s nothing hotter than a bottom who cums on my cock and lets me fuck him with his own cum. 

My version… Thou Shalt Cum When, Where and By What Means the Top Demands

5. Your top has control of a lot, but whether you moan while being fucked isn’t always one of them.

Vocalize pleasure, not pain.Some bottoms can just take more than others and vocalize that proportionally. That said, if he wants you to talk to him, he’ll fuck it out of you. And if all you can say during the first few thrusts is “ouch,” or “slow down,” or “easy,” expect him to put you face-down on the mattress or stick his underwear in your mouth. He has to fuck his way through the pain so you can start to feel the pleasure, so stop running away.

 Mark notes: Thou Shalt Vocalize Pleasure and Not Pain, Unless Your Top Demands Silence

6. Stop it already with putting your hands against his hips or stomach to try to control his depth/speed/roughness.

Bottoming is what you came here for, get to it.

 A Rough FuckMark notes: Now I’m not huge but I am hard and, for some bottoms, that’s a challenge (I don’t know why because it goes in easier than some softy you have to grasp by the base and shove inside). I will normally give a bottom a few moments to adjust to my cock. 

After that, shut up and take it. 

Along with this trying to stop it is when a bottom grabs my hips and tries to get me in deeper.

My commandment version… Thou Shalt Allow the Top to Penetrate as Deep, as Rough and at the Pace He Wishes

7. Don’t worry about jacking yourself off.

The bottom should never pleasure himself unless instructed to do so.Focus on the pain and the pleasure your top is giving you with his cock. If your top wants you to get off, he’ll either tell you to stroke it, or he’ll do it for you. It’s not his job to make you cum, it’s his job to fuck you how he wants to. The better job you do, the more likely he might let you cum while he’s still inside you. Earn it.

 Mark notes: Oh how much it pisses me off to have a bottom playing with his own nipples or jerking his cock or, worse, both. And I’m having to maintain balance for us both. Meanwhile, he accidentally brushes his hand against my balls and notices I like that and then goes back to jerking his own cock? You’ve got to be fucking kidding me?

Thou Shalt Not Touch Yourself Unless Ordered to Do So by the Top

8. Don’t try to take charge.

Ryan's Ass... the Bottom's Ultimate Ass...Your top sets the pace. Don’t back up onto the cock unless he tells you to. Your top is not an amusement park ride, you are. He’ll let you know if he wants you to drive.

 Mark notes: This one overlaps a little with Commandment Number 6 so we’re going to change it up a little because I think I know what the bottom means here.

There was this terrific bottom I fucked for a while and his ass just really knocked my socks off. Where he excelled happened to be when he’d be in the crab position above my cock and just ride the cum out of me. Literally. He did it once. I loved it.

I told him to do it again the next time I fucked him. He made a half-ass attempt for like a minute then switched positions and pace on me, even when I told him what I wanted. 

Then there’s been bottoms who grind their cock into the bed when I’m riding them in my favorite position. I tell them to stop moving and let me do all the work. I want to shoot off in their ass. Don’t move. Just hold still and let me use them to get myself off in their ass. But they don’t. They’re thinking moving against my fuck is good, even when I tell them just to hold still.

No.

It’s even better when I let a bottom try to get me off with his ass if he’ll ask if this is better. Go faster? Go deeper? Shut up? Just pay attention to me. You should figure it out.

Thou Shalt Do as the Top Commands at All Times, Pay Attention and Ask If It’s Unclear

9. Don’t be stupid.

 Ryan's Cub ChestUnless you have some prearranged, agreed upon commitment about something, it’s the top’s show. He picks the positions. He picks the bed, floor, shower, etc. And he picks where his load ends up. You can ask, but don’t natter away and make him regret picking you over the other guy that was just as hot.

 Mark notes: My dear bottom finds himself struggling a little with this one, so I’ll first say what I think fits best…

Thou Shalt Anticipate a Top’s Needs

It’s like I wrote about in my last Bossy Bottom Opens a new window from this blog piece. I’m on my way to cumming and the fucking bottom interrupts me. I’d fucked him before and he should have paid attention to know what it is that I’d preferred, how I liked to cum and then allowed me to shoot. Instead he interrupted me. He was stupid. He didn’t anticipate that I needed him just to enjoy the ride instead of worrying about his pleasures.

10. Don’t let your mouth write checks your ass can’t cash, so be careful what you say.

You didn't say you were not into this kind of play, did you?Don’t say “anything goes” unless you mean it. Don’t say “fuck me harder” unless you want to feel his girth for the next week. If you call your top “Daddy”, or “Sir”, or “Papi”, or whatever, be ready for any role play that follows. Don’t bitch about it if you call him “Sir,” only to have him put your ass hole through a Seal training boot camp. Your ass belongs to him until he’s done with it.

 Mark notes: Oh, this one is too fucking true. A great example is an entry I wrote quite a while back in my Dark Passenger series Opens a new window from this blog.  The young man told me he wanted some tit torture, I told him what I would do, he was gung ho for it, he showed up, I did it and he cried like a little bitch.

I see entries online all the time that bottoms will do “anything” except blood and scat. Do you guys realize how fucking wide open that is? You start talking to them and you soon find out it also includes no permanent scarring, no bruises, no hitting, no spanking, piss only with beer or water, time limit of two hours or less, no women, no transgender, no animals, no shaving, no bondage, must use a safe word, no drugs, etc. 

If Thou Asks It, Thy Top May or May Not Grant It

And one other thing. You call me “Daddy” only if I could actually be your “Daddy” — meaning you better be in your twenties. Then I’ll call you “son” or “boy.” And while I’m completely familiar with the Leather Community and the Sir/boy relationships, I do struggle with men my senior begging to be called “boy.”

I’ll give you whatever title I want to give you. Just because you think that word recaptures your youth, it doesn’t.

11. It isn’t about you, it’s about the top. Period.

It's all about pleasing the top and getting his load.Really understanding this eliminates the need for the other ten.

 Mark notes: Amen brother. Preach it.

Thou Shalt Focus All Thyself on The Top

The most successful bottoms have always expressed this. There’s this joy that comes from them — their jizzjoy Link Opens in a New Window — from the cum deposited in their ass. When I cum and I hear a bottom sigh from that, I know I’ve got someone who really enjoys what I do.

The Eleven Commandments of a True Bottom

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