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Darkroom Etiquette

Darkroom Etiquette

To help those who have never experienced a darkroom sexual experience or those who need a bit of a refresher course, this is the guide for you.

What is a darkroom?

A darkroom is where no one can see. No one. Everyone is essentially blind because it’s so incredibly dark.

Why a darkroom?

In a darkroom, without the use of your eyes, you get the opportunity to allow your other senses run wild.

There’s a saying that people who are blind compensate with their other senses. Whether that’s true or not, within the darkroom experience, one cannot rely on your eyes.

This gives you the opportunity to let your fantasies, those things you can invent in your mind, to actually happen.

Who fucking cares if it’s real? Do you want a date or do you want to fuck?

If he feels like a 20-year-old, then believe he is a 20-year-old.

If the cock seems like it’s 10 inches long, then it’s 10 inches.

If he’s a muscle god who smells like a man, lick his fucking pits and enjoy.

A darkroom doesn’t get in the way of everything else, any potential turnoffs (like that ingrown toenail or jacked-up orthodontics) disappear. In the darkness, you’re fucking Dawson with his 20th load or getting bred by Brad McGuire (or whatever legendary top or fantasy top you can imagine).

How a Darkroom Works

The general effort is to make the room as pitch black as possible so that no one can see a darn thing. Of course, a little light will always filter in one way or another. And as your eyes adjust, you can usually make out shapes.

Still, the overall goal is to keep it dark.

That means, no matter how strong the impulse, do not pull out your cell phone and shine its light. It ruins the mood, destroys the fantasy and basically blows out everyone’s pupils, which have to readjust to the darkness.

There are three basic ways of entering a darkroom:

  1. Boldly walk in, not caring what you bump into.
  2. Sneak in along the wall.
  3. Hang around the entrance watching who enters then follow someone you like inside.

I’m generally someone who takes the stealth approach, feeling my way at first along the wall. This gives me a moment to listen and determine if there’s much action going on inside.

Bumping into someone will happen. It’s a fucking darkroom, so get over it.Take this opportunity to check them out. First with a light touch. Then, if they don’t push you away, keep exploring. Are their pants off? Is their dick out? Is their ass prelubed (or leaking cum)? Are they completely naked? Or does he feel like a wrinkled mess?

If he feels you back, he’s interested. If he’s not stopping you, he’s looking for some service.

It’s relatively a common sense situation, although I’ve experienced my share of trolls who cannot take a hint, requiring me to bail out of a darkroom. Generally, men cum about every 5 minutes, so if you leave the darkroom and return in 10, you’ll be in with another group.

To convey my intent, I immediately move my hand to someone’s ass and head to the asshole. If he’s got his pants on, I see if I can slip my hand down inside them. If he bats my hand away, I move on.

I also go for the most common erogenous zones, like the nipples. A little tweak will often open up someone to the option of a fuck.

Courtesy and Tips

Here’s what I suggest to make your experience the best:

  • If you are receiving unwanted attention from a troll, push his hand away — at first gently and then with force. If that doesn’t work, step out of the room (unless you’re in mid-fuck).
  • In mid-fuck, you are free to explore. Let the hands run over your body and don’t get all pissy thinking you should be left alone. If you wanted to fuck alone, you should have gone into a booth or room.
  • Moans, groans, grunts and any basic animalistic sounds are welcome. Otherwise, do not talk.
  • Turn off your cell phone ring and, for God’s sake, don’t fucking answer the phone if it does ring (yes, I’ve experienced it; some asshole actually got a call, answered it in the darkroom and proceeded to have a conversation; cleared the room out in seconds).
  • You will be touched and explored by strangers you cannot see. If this is an issue for you, do not enter a darkroom.
  • Bottoms, it’s quite preferred you be cleaned out and prelubed before going into a darkroom. Keep any lube on hand.
  • If you expect to be “safe” in a darkroom, go with someone who can spot you. One of the easiest places to stealth is in a darkroom, especially when things get busy. You can never really tell which cock is entering you. In fact, I’d suggest the condom Nazis to stay out of the darkrooms.
  • If someone pushes your hand away, consider it a polite way of saying “no thank you” and move on. Don’t be a troll.
  • If you’re not feeling the vibe, step out of the room for 10 minutes and return later. Generally, darkrooms turnover with new action every 5 or 10 minutes.
  • Sometimes you’re lucky to get a service-oriented bottom in the room, who will be naked or pants-down/ass up and allowing all cocks and loads. Be nice, don’t push, and take your turn. Don’t take forever to cum. Pump your load into him.

Hopefully this will all help make your darkroom experiences better. Please add your own darkroom tips below.

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Fuck Fuck Fuck

The Brotherhood of the Traveling Fucks

I’ve been traveling a lot. And it doesn’t look like it will let up anytime soon. And I’ve been fucking lucky.

Literally.

The ass in each city ends up being hot, hot, hot.

If I tried to write about every ass and each encounter, you’d all love it — I know. But I don’t have time. I’m just that busy.

Allow me to summarize some of the highlights.

Mid-Atlantic Tropical Hot Ass

I usually advertise my arrival in advance of my arrival. My ads usually announce that a top blogger is coming to town, looking for some bottom inspiration. I require some basic information from those who want to learn about the blog, since a vast majority of people just want the jerk off material.

I don’t mind. But I want to get a glimpse of who’s going to see it.

Occasionally, some people know who it is. Or they figure it out quickly. These are my fan fuck plans. Some people can be dedicated fans, who read up on me in great details. Others are just the guys who read me when it’s time to jerk off.

This young, very tan man hits me up and begins begging.

Now you have to understand. The younger the bottom, the less reliable. Young men in their twenties are notorious unreliable. I’ve made plans with hem in cities only to end up with a dry dick in hand.

This one really seemed genuine.

And not to bore you with details, he worked out well considering that this time, I ended up running late. He arrived after I finally got into my hotel room. Without hesitation, he worked into an embrace and kiss.

A good kiss.

His sucking worked at getting me hard. But when I finally got into his hairy ass, the fucking tight ass proved to be phenomenal.

Too phenomenal.

It’s been a while since I’ve bred someone three times in a row. But this little fucker kept me hard through all three. I never really slowed down. Of course, I’d been saving up a little. His exotic mixture of Latin and native tropics. A little hair on his chest and these juicy nipples.

His ass never truly loosened up.

If I ever slipped out, this bottom would let out an exasperated plea to put it back in.

I never went soft. His talent seemed unending to keep me hard. He’d read about where to touch me, how to keep me interested and what to do to arouse me.

He is someone who will be fucked again.

University City Slut

It’s summertime, so most of the college kids are at home, screwing around there and not at school. Just my luck I get to go to the midwest and a town that’s pretty much nothing but a university-supported town.

There’s a small contingency of college kids around — too many of them catfish (fakes who claim to want fucking). I’d just about given up.

I’d messaged a guy on BarebackRT.com before my arrival and, well, he pops back online. I invite him over and, 30 minutes later, this thirtysomething is sucking my cock on my hotel room bed.

We went into fuck mode and his neg hole is just begging me to squirt my load inside him a coat his insides fulls of my DNA.

I do.

All you have to do is beg. And this bottom does.

It’s after all the fucking, with us winded on such an intense session, that he admits to having known who I was, loving my blog and basically wanting to find out if he could really feel it “blast inside.”

(Yes, he could feel it.)

He’d gone to dinner with friends and ditched them between the restaurant and the club to swing by and get fucked by me. But we’d promised for a more extensive session next time.

My Boyfriend Doesn’t Know I’m a Slutty Bottom

Occasionally, one of those 20-year-old guys with an impossibly smooth body e-mails me. I figure the photo has been Photoshopped until there’s not a freckle, not a blemish and no stray hairs.

I’m in Texas and on BarebackRT.com when this little fucker e-mails me, volunteering to come take my load. I tell him the hotel. He asks the room. I give it. He says 15 minutes.

And in 17 minutes, there’s a knock at my door. A gorgeous boy walks in, lithe, tall, Latin and beautiful. His shirt is coming off as he steps into the room. He isn’t hesitating.

His chest is perfect. Just barely definition but no imperfections. Anywhere.

The lights are down low because I fucking hate the harsh lighting of hotels. He flips an end-table light on, its florescent yellow blinking into cold existence. But this boy’s skin is still perfect, reflecting the seamless skin with just a peach fuzz of hair that tingles as I run my fingers over it.

He’s naked now and grabbing for my pants.

He sucks me. I was already hard. He slobbers all over my cock. He thumbs his huge uncut cock a little as he comes up and kisses me with the perfect thick lips and then turns around and lines up my cock with his perfect little pucker.

And he pushes.

I’m inside him.

This insatiable boy just begins to ride. But I can’t be a passive top. I move him into a few positions and I pummel him.

He begs for my cum. He says he wants it bad. Please give it to him. I do. I load him up deep.

I lay in the glow afterward, letting my fingertips run over this perfect boy’s skin.

As we talk, it turns out I’m the fourth load in him tonight, although he’d cleaned out for me — I jokingly scold him for doing that. He assures me I’m the first of many loads as he leaves me for a few more.

His boyfriend is working tonight. He’s out for as many loads as possible. And he takes all loads. Doesn’t matter. Oh, he’s a little picky. Hard cocks only.

Never heard of my blog. Couldn’t care less. He just wanted my cum. He just wanted me to blast inside.

Straight Boy and Gay Bottom

In a southern city, I’ve chosen a ginger to fuck. He finally arrives. When he walks in, I recognize him immediately.

He’s straight. He’s a straight bottom. (Yes, they exist.)

He walks in and basically gets to sucking me. Nothing nice about it. He’s not very good, but it’s enough to harden me up. I step behind him and slick my cock up when he mentioned he has a condom.

I don’t protest. I put it on. At least, that’s what he sees. He lines it up with his hole, feeling the condom on it but after it goes in his hole, I pull it out and pull off the condom in a single motion and slide back inside. As soon as I’m in him bare I feel it.

His asshole is throbbing.

Damn inexperienced bottoms.

He’s shooting his load all over my bed.

Pisses me off a little, but I’ve been inside him raw and he didn’t notice. Or maybe he did and that’s why he shot off so quick.

He liked it raw.

He’s out the door and I’m on the prowl again. I don’t find another taker until the next day… this a gay guy who just had this terrific body. I didn’t see a face. I get a little concerned when I don’t see a face at all.

He walks in an angel, with these stunning eyes.

We get to the act quickly, although I wanted to take my time. And we fuck for longer than I intended because I want to give him the best I can.

He enjoys it.

We finally kiss as he leaves a load lighter and a load heavier.

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Grindin’ Ass Raw: How Quickly ‘Safer’ Bottoms Go Raw

Grindin’ Ass Raw: How Quickly ‘Safer’ Bottoms Go Raw

Raw-or-wrapped-2How much I love asking the question, “Raw or wrapped?’

If I’m on Grindr or Scruff or Manhunt (I’ve got a free trial) or Craigslist, it’s a question that’s bound to come up. And ever-so-quickly, as soon as it does, the response about half the time is “wrapped” or “safe.”

Fuck, just look at the young man to the right — he wrote “Always safe.”

And I wrote, “Oh. Too bad. I’m not.”

Immediately — not even a minute passed — before he said he’d fuck raw.

Recently, a survey found about half of all gay men said they fucked bareback while the other half said they fucked safe. This is a flawed study because, I believe, when confronted with someone a bottom want to fuck him, he’ll go raw almost every time.

Believe me, I get more ass this way.

A lot of you may think I’m out there stealthing ass Opens new window of a page on this blog left and right. No. I’m not. I only do that at sex clubs, adult bookstores or bathhouses where anonymous hook-ups are rampant and, even then, it’s rare.

Most everywhere else, the horny man will go raw without hesitation.

The Tanned, Tattooed Lasian

I’m downtown running errands and, whenever that happens, I see that as an opportunity to get some. Honestly, Grindr and Scruff are hit and miss. Plus it’s a Wednesday in Atlanta Opens new window of a page on this blog and I know that’s a craptastic day.

But the common chime goes off on the ole iPhone and I begin chatting it up with what looks to be a light-skinned Latino.

If you’ve been reading my blog, you know I have a thing about exotics — any Asian or Latin flavor. Well, we all also know I’m an equal opportunity fucker Opens new window of a page on this blog, glad to breed most any ass.

The 27-year-old had shitty photos, but it didn’t much matter to me. He’d turned off his distance meter but seemed pretty damn close. And we were getting along. He liked my cock shots. He asked me to come over to fuck him.

Raw-or-wrapped“Raw or wrapped?” I asked.

“Wrapped.”

I turned him down, letting him know I just fucked raw.

Now I expect bottoms to come back with an invitation anyway, but his response shocked even me.

“Okay, well, you can fuck me raw as long as you cum in me,” he typed.

“I have no problem breeding your ass,” I wrote back.

Soon I had an address and was on my way.

Turned out I was only 3 minutes away from his apartment complex. He answered the door with just a towel.

A 6-feet tall, this beefy man’s wide, smooth chest looked just meaty and delicious. He was deeply tanned. And those horrible photos just couldn’t make up for the vision before me. Tattoos scattered his body. In fact, throughout our session, every move would cause me to discover a new tattoo — he had at least a dozen. Some as small as a dime while others were much larger.

His nipples pointed down toward his belly.

He escorted me to the bedroom and dropped his towel while I began taking off my clothes. His large flat nose gave him a Hawaiian look but the Asian truly stood out. That is, as he jacked his uncut cock and it stood up a rigid 8 inches and very wide.

Now that wasn’t Asian cock. It was truly Latin.

We went down to business, him snorting my poppers Opens new window of a page on this blog, sucking my cock, kissing me with his luscious thick lips and begging very soon for me to eat his ass and fuck him.

His legs and ass were covered with dark, wiry hair (again, symptoms of Latin descent). I worked his hole just a little before he wanted my rock hard cock inside him. His padded tanned skin next to my mighty white seemed like an odd dichotomy, but it worked as my cock slipped inside and he snorted more on those poppers.

With him on his back, my cock thrusting inside him, he soon began begging for my nut.

“You want it already?” I said, knowing we’d only been fucking a few minutes. But I was on errands and didn’t have long. But I didn’t mind making this a quick one. As fast as he was jerking his cock, I knew I wouldn’t have long anyway.

“Breed me man,” he said.

I snorted the poppers now and went plunging over the edge.

I bred his ass, pushing my cum inside him and letting him know he’d gotten my load. Then I pulled out and dressed.

“Damn,” he said. “Thanks. I’ve been looking all day for someone to come over and fuck me. You were the first one serious enough to do it.”

“Glad to help out,” I said.

And I left.

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Orgy Etiquette

Orgy Etiquette Content

gay bareback orgy etiquetteIntroduction
Prior to Arriving
You Won’t Like Everyone in Attendance
Everyone Gets to Touch You
The Good Touch and The Bad Touch
Showing You’re Interested
Perfection Is Never Around the Corner
Do You Have a Right to Reject Advances?
Politely Rejecting Advances
When Rejected, Stepping Away
Being a Respectable Voyeur
Buck-Up: It Was a Bad Night
Providing Candid Feedback to the Host

return Return to How to Host an Orgy

 

Introduction

Every orgy brings with it some universal guidelines to ways one must conduct oneself. Keep these in mind as you enter into these hallowed halls of sexual decadence.

You will find yourself enjoying yourself much more if you give yourself over to these basic guidelines since it’s what will be happening to everyone there. More fun shall be had by all.

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Prior to Attending

Bathe well, trim, shave, douche and everything.

Even though I never plan to get fucked at an orgy, I always douche because, as much as I don’t want it to happen, someone will attempt to slip a finger inside my ass. The last thing they need to pull that finger out and find it is an opportunity to create a Dirty Sanchez Open-New-Window-External.

If I do happen to find myself in the mood for assplay, my crack is absolutely clean and available for a little probing.

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You Won’t Like Everyone in Attendance

Among the most challenging things for a lot of people to keep in mind is that when there are five or more men gathered in one place, you will be comparing these men and of the four, you’d prefer at least one keep his hands off of you.

It’s just naturally how it will go.

He may be a different race. He might be hairy or smooth. He might be young or old. Whatever it is that just doesn’t turn your crank, you’ve got to swallow the bile that you think is coming up and stomach the moment when his hand brushes against your body.

Here’s why.

You see that hot, hot fucker across the room. The muscle man with the incredible pecs and pepperoni nipples you want to suckle on for days?

I’m reading his mind right now and he thinks you’re Fugly (yes, with a capital “F”).

However, the bile buddy next to you prompting nausea is dazzlingly beautiful to him.

Bile buddy is all about you but could care less about sliced salami nips.

By each of you tolerating the other, you each will “get” what you really want. It’s a triad of desire, only it’s all misdirected. If each of you will just swallow your pride, you will get what you want, though.

An orgy is not a place where people are meant to pair up and wander off. An orgy isn’t an a la carte menu. It’s a potluck dinner. One should expect to sample a bit from almost everyone in the room and, based on what’s there, indulge just a bit more from the more delicacies that seem a bit more appetizing to your palate.

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Everyone Gets to Touch You

For this reason, everyone in attendance gets to touch you. Your body is not off limits.

Unlike sex clubs Opens new window of a page on this blog or adult bookstores Opens new window of a page on this blog, you do not push away participants or close yourself off in a corner during an orgy (unless it’s just massive with hundreds of participants).

Whenever I host less than 10 participants, my goal is to get everyone together in one general space and everyone touching one another in one way.

The most ideal experiences I’ve had is when I’m not sure exactly who’s sucking my cock or sitting on my cock. I can generally see who I am kissing or who’s cock I am sucking. And if I am lucky, some tongue is on my balls or across my ass.

I have yet to have a cock in my ass while I am fucking someone. That fete will be one I will so enjoy when it occurs.

With good orgies, people stop worrying whether the least good looking is touching them and allow themselves to be swallowed by the pleasure of it. It’s a mob mentality. But instead of rioting, sexual energy takes over. Cock, cum, kissing, sucking, spit, sweat, lips, balls… it’s all just men.

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The Good Touch and The Bad Touch

If you are strictly a top or a bottom, or if you are somehow sensitive in some other ways, you may have created areas of your body that you consider “off limits.” This variety creates places that more commonly known as “bad touch” areas.

For me, almost anyone can touch my nipples. They provide almost little pleasure for me. They’re very neutral territory.

Should an African American with a thick 12-inch cock decide that a little spit would be enough to invade my ass, well, that would be a bad touch as a top.

And, since licking my balls lightly causes more juice to be produced for when I finally shoot my load (and with the right technique, can even cause me to loose control and paralyze my body for moments at a time), that’s a good touch.

You, as the participant in an orgy have an obligation to provide feedback — visual and verbal — to the men working on you. It’s very simple.

“Stop, don’t do that,” with a gentle pushing away of the offending appendage means bad touch.

“Yes, please do that more,” while leaning into the action means good touch.

And no movement means everything is a okay, just keep exploring.

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Showing You’re Interested

Unlike a bar, you don’t need to be quite as shy at an orgy. Sometimes you’re even naked. Walk up to someone and start feeling them up. If they move away, head to the next guy. Or lean back, take your cock in hand and motion someone over and start sucking. I mean, make your intentions clean by getting on your knees. Someone will eventually stuff something in your mouth.

Hell, put your ass in the air.

Orgies are about sex and making your intentions clear should be just fine.

Moments of awkward pause do occur. Every party needs an icebreaker. It’s just something to get the “conversation” rolling. But the conversation at an orgy is sex, so people will appreciate it if you’re the one who starts creating the sexual tension in the room.

Gay Bareback Orgy Etiquette GuideNot sure how?

I’ll give you the easiest trick in the book.

Walk up to a guy or a few guys.

If you’re a bottom, ask, “Are you a top?” or “Are you guys tops?”

If anyone answers “yes,” or “versatile,” then, “Feel like a blowjob?”

And don’t wait for an answer. Go for it.

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Perfection Is Never Around the Corner

There inevitably will be this idea to wait for the perfect man with whom to shoot your load or to generally wait to get wild. It’s something all noobs Open-New-Window-External that the proverbial greener grass on the other side never quite appears. When I know there’s an orgy coming up, I save up a nice batch of cum with the knowledge that I hope to deposit a couple of loads.

Bottoms (I hope) go with the intention of getting as many loads as possible. However, it isn’t a competition.

I’ll fuck multiple holes. My first load is the easiest to crank out, of course. But it’s the second or, even more rare, the third. You earn that, you’ve got a blessed ass.

I never wait to see if I find a better ass. If I feel like cumming, I cum.

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Do You Have a Right to Reject Advances?

Some people do and some people do not have the right to reject advances at an orgy.

If you are the sole bottom at a “breed the bottom” party, guess what: You’re it.

No, you don’t get to say, “That’s too big” or “That’s too small” or “I don’t like Asians” or “You’re too old.”

The solitary bottom at such a party is the one who has the literally take it in the ass. You cannot reject someone lining up to take it in the ass. The only exception is if something terribly wrong has happened, meaning you’ve got a physical or medical issue that needs attention.

A good bottom should know how to pace his meals and clean himself for an evening without a shit dick Open-New-Window-External event.

Now, if it’s not a “breed the bottom” party, I like to designate a slut bottom for every party who will take all cummers — literally. That way, no one is left leaving with blue balls. Usually, you’ll have one or two volunteers. And since I am a top, when I host, I usually agree to be the fucker for all bottoms, so each one ends up with a nice hard cock in their ass at some point.

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Politely Rejecting Advances

I do have my dislikes Opens new window of a page on this blog. It’s just one thing I can’t overcome. And when I am a guest at an orgy, I cannot control the guest list and therefore cannot assure that the man touching me is going to be matching my desires.

While there’s some types of guys who just don’t turn my crank, some men will cause me to lose a hardon as fast as a knife popping a balloon. When that happens, one must politely decline the advance. This can occur with several people or just a few in a group. I focus on minimizing the opportunity for the incompatible person.

For example, some smokers just seem to carry a huge cloud of ash around with them — a smell, not just on their breath, but emanating from every pore of their body. These people will prompt me to “take a break” where I can return later or, if I’m fucking someone I like, make a small hint that they might like to follow me to another area.

If you have someone obsessed with you who keeps following you around after the breaks, just pull them aside and say the following:

[alert style=”green”] Thanks so much for your interest in me but I’d like to spend some time with the other men here right now. Maybe I’ll get back around to you a little later. Or maybe we can meet up another day. Okay? I’d really appreciate it. [/alert]

If that doesn’t work, let the host know and perhaps the guest will be invited to leave.

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When Rejected, Stepping Away

I’ve been rejected. Plenty of times, most especially at the gloryholes Opens new window of a page on this blog at an Atlanta adult bookstore Opens new window of a page on this blog.

Number One When I arrive at the gloryhole and unzip my jeans, my cock isn’t instantly hard. One must play a little mouth music on it to bring it up. Some men expect instant hardon. Whatever happened to enjoying the feel of a cock inflating in your mouth?

Number 2 With the work from lips and tongue and even some hand, I get to my normal 7 inches and, with a little more work — especially around the balls — you’ll see it reach a respectable 7½ inches. But for the size queens who think 8 inches in minimum, it’s not enough.

I’ve had my cock pushed away and men simply stepped away or leave the other side of the booth. If I took this personally, I’d be crying still now, if not dead from committing suicide from the immense depression caused by such rejection.

My talented cock is rock hard and it can fuck. Too many tops just do not get that hard and, well, getting inside a tight bottom is a challenge.

Not me.

One had to learn not to take the rejection personally.

We all know how men are built Opens new window of a page on this blog. We separate sex from the emotional ties. This is NSA or “no strings attached” sex. So if it has nothing to do with the emotions and someone rejects us, why would we let ourselves get all carried away with emotions when we’re rejected?

Don’t let it happen to you.

Sex is like a business transaction and you’re just not compatible. It’s as if he’s wanting to use AMEX and you only accept Visa.

Walk away and move on to someone who is compatible.

Believe me, I’m too old, too fat, too small, too hairy, too dorky or too something for someone. But I’m also just right for someone else. If you don’t move on, you might miss out on a really good time. Do not let yourself get obsessed with some idiot who won’t (or can’t) let themselves broaden their horizons to let you in to fuck around.

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Being a Respectable Voyeur

Barebacking breedingOrgies are such that you get a great opportunity to watch some great sex, even if you don’t always get to participate in it. There’s nothing hotter than a group of men jacking their cocks around one incredible fuck scene in the center. I’ve been both places.

When fucking a bottom, I generally like to get the sense whether he’s up for a tag teaming from anyone else there. And I’ll share. But sometimes it’s meant to really be just the two of you until you blow that load.

For me, I personally enjoy if the voyeurs touch me. I especially like the other tops to come up behind me, play with my ass and up along the crack to my taint and balls. This really gets me going. Other men do not like this. A gentle push of the hand away or asking not to touch is just fine. Then step back and let the professional do as he wishes.

I know a lot of bottoms who love to be looking into the eyes of the top as he blows his load into the bottom. I suggest staying away from blocking that line of view. Otherwise, if the bottom invites you to stuff his mouth full, go ahead.

Keep in mind the others around you and let them see the fun as well.

But get involved. Cheer the action on at least. And touch unless told not to touch.

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Buck-Up: It Was a Bad Night

With every orgy, there’s a chance it can go bad. Very bad. You don’t get off. The two hot guys there go off in a corner and ignore everyone else. You get stalked by the troll who happens to be the host’s best friend from out of town. It’s bound to happen.

Buck up. Bad nights happen.

What I’ve done to try and rescue a night: Wait around to the end and as people leave, walk out with your last-chance choices. Make small talk, inviting them to coffee or getting their numbers to text them later. Once, I even fucked one by a neighborhood dumpster (talk about a quick dump and go). He turned into a regular fuck.

By waiting until the end of the night, even if you’re satisfied, you’ll see who the real sluts of the group are and you might start making friends.

I earned regular suck and fuck buds by waiting to see who waits until the end of decent orgies.

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Providing Candid Feedback to the Host

Whenever I’ve hosted a get together, I always ask for candid feedback after the get together to see if there’s ways to improve the next party. I do not take things personally unless someone tries to get personal about a get together.

I like to know the problem people, who just jerked off rather than actually barebacking (they don’t get invited back) and who seemed to be too picky (ditto). I prefer the feedback later, a day or two after the party and sent privately via e-mail or in a phone call.

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How to Host a Gay Orgy

how to host a gay bareback orgy

How to Host a Gay Orgy, Content

Pick an Orgy Theme
BulletStrip Poker Opens new window of a page on this blog
Planning Your Space
Security Concerns
Purchasing and Planning Supplies
The Guest List
Scheduling the Orgy
Asking a Guest to Leave
Asking for Money
Orgy Etiquette
BulletA More Detailed Orgy Etiquette Opens new window of a page on this blog
The Orgy Begins
Boosting Sexual Success
Ending the Orgy

 

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Pick an Orgy Theme

Why pick a theme? It’s an orgy! Right?

Every orgy has a theme even if it’s, “Anything goes.” That’s a theme.

Perhaps it’s a “load the birthday boy” or “twentysomething jerkoff” party. It doesn’t matter. Creating a successful orgy means generating some interest.

When I lived in Washington, D.C., I happened to own a home that had a single large room with almost no windows that made it a particularly successful space for hosting orgies. I became quite successful at creating some get-togethers.

A few ideas beyond the traditional conversion party Open-New-Window-External  or jock/bear/twink/leather exclusive get together:

lightbulb_on Friday Fog Fuck Fest
lightbulb_on My version of strip poker Opens new window of a page on this blog
lightbulb_on Sexy slumber party
lightbulb_on Masquerade party
lightbulb_on Gloryhole Hoe Down
lightbulb_on Underwear exchange orgy
lightbulb_on Russian Roulette orgy Open-New-Window-External

You can make it simple just by restricting age, kind of people, types or anything else. But choosing a theme helps you in restricting your guest list. This is something you will want to do.

Please note that being polite goes a long way to lessen the animosity that could develop. Posting something like, “No fatties and ancient trolls,” will piss off some queens who’ve been used to attacks. Therefore these bitterness-containers may target your gathering by pretending to be someone else and then wrecking havoc or, worse, creating a security risk by informing the local homophobic hate groups.

Don’t laugh. I’ve seen it happen. And truth be told, I’ve had an asshole host cause (a younger, less mature) me to send dozens of people to his house and ruin his orgy (he was a fortysomething man hosting only svelte, blond twentysomethings with treasure trails, although his invite didn’t say as much). When he uninvited me, he wasn’t delicate and polite.

RULE #1 of GOOD ORGY HOSTING
Don’t Be an Asshole.

Your orgy theme needs to reflect the kind of debaucherous experience you want to occur, even if it’s an impromptu sex encounter with a few locals.

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Planning Your Space

Gay Bareback OrgyIf the orgy is at your home, decide where guests will and will not have access. Think of the entire experience. Do you live in a gated community? A high-rise with street parking? A home in the suburbs? A basement apartment with a back entrance?

The entire visit must be explained in detail to your guests. Don’t just give an address, but let them know about the parking situation, whether there’s a gate or door code, whether to knock or enter straight on, etc.

Explaining the access interior might be important as well.

Dump-and-go parties — where there’s a bottom set up and accepting loads from multiple tops who stop by over a period of time — usually has a space where the tops can clean-up, disrobe and also put back on clothes in preparation to leave. When hosting in a hotel or motel, this isn’t always possible.

Other orgies usually have a playroom or rooms where the sex occurs and a break space for refreshments. Sometimes there’s a space for people to remove, put on and store clothing.

RULE #2 of GOOD ORGY HOSTING
Have a place for guests to disrobe, store clothing safely and dress later.

Although I enjoy going over and doing the “wham, bam, thank you Sam” thing, I don’t really consider that an orgy. You will need the following three spaces minimal:

Green square bullet Dressing room
Green square bullet Play space(s)
Green square bullet Clean-up space (most likely a bathroom)

Your optional spaces may include the following:

Yellow Square Bullet Lounge break space (where sex will not occur but guests may be naked)
Yellow Square Bullet Non-sex lounging space (where guests should be clothed and no sex should occur)
Yellow Square Bullet Refreshment space (may also be the lounge space, but a place where guests can get a drink of water or other beverage or snack)
Yellow Square Bullet Specialty sex spaces (you may want to designate a space for bondage, barebacking, JO, sling(s), massage, etc.)

Finally, you should consider designating off limits spaces.

bullet_square_red Post signs for spaces like extra rooms, your office, etc., that guests should not enter.
bullet_square_red Also consider posting signs on the refrigerator, pantry, cabinets, etc., politely directing guests to the location of refreshments. Use positive phrases like, “Beer, sodas and bottled water located in the cooler on the deck” rather than “Don’t take my shit from the refrigerator” because people will be more likely to take stuff with negative commands.

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Security Concerns

When planning any get together, security is a must. I personally have been to orgies where my belongings were stolen Opens new window of a page on this blog from inside the orgy home and the word “FAG” was keyed into my car. As both the host and the participant, ways to assure a secure environment

As a host, two ways secure your environment:

The Locked-Door Policy

At a designated time (as you clearly state in the invitation), the entrance/exit will be locked. No new admissions will occur after this point. While you plainly state this, I recommend that you be a little late on locking the door. This allows for traffic issues (which you should monitor in case there’s an accident nearby — it’s happened to me) and for those who just can’t arrive on time. It also allows for the participants to loosened up a little.

Monitored

This one is a little more difficult because it requires someone or a couple of folks to skip the fun and monitor the door (and perhaps the clothing room). A couple of ways to accomplishing this:

bullet_square_blue Hire men to be your “security.” You can hire “heteroflexible” men, like local “straight” strippers. Let your participants know these men (who will wear little) are available after the festivities and will be accepting tips. You can also hire older men, straight men, liberal women, friends or pretty much anyone who doesn’t give a fuck what’s going on. Let the participants know that these folks are protecting their belongings. Once the party is in “full swing,” the doorman can step outside and check cars, call police if there’s suspicious activity, alert participants if the cops are coming, etc. If you can, consider creating a “coat check” like situation. Consider purchasing several stackable plastic bins and let participants put their clothes and keys inside it. Post-It notes allows the coat-check person to note a name and description (Tom, pierced nipples, smooth, bald head).

bullet_square_blue Create shifts with volunteers. Some folks will do it for free but consider asking for tips. It’s in everyone’s best interest. The best bet are folks who want a single shot (or need to cum just once). There’s also the option to send bottoms to service the top monitors while they work.

I’d always suggest you encourage participants to leave valuables at home, lock their IDs and wallets in their cars (hidden and out of site).

If you’re attending an orgy, I recommend the same — leave as many valuables as you can at home and the rest in your vehicle. After my stolen clothes experience, I’d suggest the following (unless you know the host or you’re attending an orgy with someone there to protect your clothes and goods):

bullet_square_blue Keep your clothes and keys with you, leaving your wallet and phone in the car (if you don’t feel safe without a phone, don’t fucking go; or, as an option, park close and have a Bluetooth connection to your phone at all times). I’ve been to an orgy or two where there was a designated room for play and it was easy enough to strip, fuck, play and then clothe oneself to hang out and eat, drink or socialize in other parts of the house.

bullet_square_blue If there’s a “no clothes” rule, consider separating your clothes and your car keys. Car keys can easily be stashed away someplace small and not very obvious. This gives a thief something to take and gives you a chance to still get your car. I’d drive home naked (or borrowing some shorts from the stupid host) with my keys than trying to get my keys from someone else.

bullet_square_blue Another option is simply keep your keys on you by securing them in a sock or something else on your body. I recommend this option, especially in sketchy situations if you have to bail without your clothes (I’ve heard of this but never personally experienced it). This might lead you to wearing disposable clothes (ones that you wouldn’t mind losing) and having an extra set in your vehicle.

I also recommend you be well aware of your surroundings and have an escape route. If something goes wrong, you can get the fuck out and leave. Also, just in case, I always leave “evidence” or information of the address where I went so anyone can find it quickly.

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Purchasing and Planning Supplies

About to fuck in a gay orgyWe don’t want to believe that we need to purchase things like poppers Opens new window of a page on this blog and lube, but alas, not everyone brings their shit even when we insist on it. Therefore, plan on buying some and having someone take yours.

I personally always purchase smaller bottles of lube anyway because I’m always needing to pocket them for random hookups or visits to bookstores Opens new window of a page on this blog or sex clubs Opens new window of a page on this blog. As an option (if you purchase in bulk or gallon size), put the lube in plastic travel bottles. Poppers can’t be put in plastic and, generally, are too valuable just to leave all over the house. I would tuck my favorites certain places for me to remember if I needed them handy.

Consider purchasing inexpensive hand towels spaced throughout the house, especially on any flat surface and in any room you think sex will happen. Put away the nice towels and put out the cheap ones.

Now some people might think of “party favors” or “party supplies” might be drugs like Tina (crystal meth), Molly (MDNA), ecstasy or marijuana (pot or 420). You may wish to allow them, but it certainly makes your gathering a target for law enforcement. I personally would avoid such and say it’s not allowed (if you choose to indulge, do it on your own privately). Unless you’re already in some liberal bastion like San Francisco, a gay bareback orgy is going to be especially frowned upon, so law enforcement getting wind of illegal drugs and sodomy going on just might cause a major sting operation. Avoid.

And if you’re thinking of going and know that this is happening, avoid.

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The Guest List

Guests to your gathering will be inevitably difficult to build. I always recommend you begin with your own hookups. You know these men so you’ll know a little bit about them — top, bottom or versatile. Generally, that is where every orgy begins with a mixture of how many men you’d like to invite and the ratio of tops-to-bottoms.

In barebacking, bottoms can be really greedy. Therefore, making it very clear the collection of people attending will make it much easier.

The question will also come for photographs along with statistics of the other attendees.

This makes for a very weird situation because some 22-year-old might refuse to come if there’s one ugly 40-year-old in the bunch. This is why I encourage the theme choice from the outset.

If it’s a “white athletes in their twenties with six pack abs only” party, then fucking specify it. However, the host must match the theme as well.

RULE #3 of GOOD ORGY HOSTING
The host must “match” the theme.

I once saw a guy hosting a barebacking party and knew who it was. He happened to be in his fifties, older, hairier and frankly out-of-shape fat. He used deceptive advertising on Craigslist to get younger men to respond, thinking they were coming to a nice jocks-only orgy.

Once I got the address of the get together, I flooded Craigslist with information on the man hosting the party. I also sent a few older, hairier men over to the address when they asked about it. I know. It’s evil of me. And it wasn’t friendly to the other guys. But the asshole got the point.

One must be reasonable about what one is going to get. One must be honest about what will be attending.

What I generally do with the first installment of an invitation folks know the general range of who will be attending based on the theme. Then, if the person is interested in attending, he must return at least one photo for inclusion in a collage of photos I put together.

I give everyone a deadline and let everyone know when the e-mail with everyone’s stats and the collage of photos will go out.

Some people send me a dozen pics. Some send one. Some send face. Some send ass. Some send body. Some send cock. I put together one or two collages of photos and a list of the participants’ basic stats.

From that point, I ask for confirmation of attendance.

At your first orgy, expect about 20 to 40 percent of your participants to actually arrive. If you maintain a mailing list and your orgies continue to be successful, the percentages will go up. Generally, you will never get more than 60 percent.

iphone-in-a-pocketE-mail multiple times leading up to the actual orgy start. Provide phone numbers for people who need them (if you don’t want to give out your real number, consider getting a Google Voice number Open-New-Window-External and link it or forward it to your phone. Yes, you can even get texts, but not all MMS.

One may use the BarebackRT.com Open-New-Window-External local party feature, but not everyone is on BBRT. There’s also sites like Evite.com, which allows for maybe, yes, no and hasn’t responded to invitations. Either way, you will want to build your own database or mailing list to maintain and you might even want to make mental notes of who attends and who doesn’t. I personally recommend getting really e-mail addresses and issuing invitations through those, as they’re easier to track should something happen at a get together.

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Scheduling the Orgy

Tea time orgies (anything in the afternoons) generally only work on weekends and holidays unless you’re planning on hosting an orgy at a public sex club or adult bookstore Opens new window of a page on this blog. Lunchtime drop-off orgies can work under certain circumstances.

Depending on the theme, the later the better. If you’re having a strip poker party Opens new window of a page on this blog or some normal party, then starting at 7 p.m. or so is just fine. Plan on later — more like 10 p.m. to midnight or even 1 a.m. if you want the after bar crowd.

One might even survey people to see what they might prefer. SurveyMonkey.com allows limited number of responses if you want to have a small selection of people to answer.

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Orgy Etiquette

I love to include a special section on etiquette Opens new window of a page on this blog in my e-mailed invitations. It’s an important reminder to everyone attending and it’s helped me make my orgies a little better. While I’ve created a more detailed version of the orgy etiquette Opens new window of a page on this blog here, your summary can be simple:

bullet You will not be attracted to everyone who attends, but there will be people there you’ll find hot.
bullet An orgy is like a potluck dinner — try a little of everything; don’t limit yourself like some sort of a la carte menu.
bullet Don’t plan on choosing the one guy you find hot and go off into a corner to make out; it’s an orgy which means everyone plays with everyone.
bullet Everyone’s allowed to touch everyone else; politely let someone else know if you’d prefer something else.
bullet (If appropriate) Let the attendees know if there’s a designated top or bottom for use if all else fails.
bullet No jerking off or just voyeur play; you’re a participant.

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Asking a Guest to Leave

I have rarely hosted an orgy without having someone who needs to be politely asked to leave or who automatically knows they are the odd man out, so to speak. Further, with bareback orgies, someone always tries to sneak in just to watch the fun and never participate. For some people, this isn’t a problem. I personally think it’s not a show but a participant sport.

One should be there to play.

Therefore, if something isn’t right, as host you can ask someone to leave.

Here’s the easiest way:

[alert style=”orange”] I wanted to thank you so much for coming to the get together.
However, I think it’s going to be in your best interest if you go ahead and leave.
I’m sorry it didn’t work out but I’ll keep you in mind for a more appropriate get together in the future. [/alert]

Now sometimes a dimwitted guest will want to know why they’re being asked to leave. Here’s a few examples:

[alert style=”orange”]I’m so sorry to say this, but the photos you provided don’t appear to be an accurate portrayal.
Perhaps it would benefit you to update them in the near future.(If you ask multiple guests to leave; this is a lie to spare the feelings of those you’re asking to leave)
I am afraid something has come up and we’re going to need to cancel the sexual portion of the party.
I hope you don’t mind. I’ll let you know if and when we reschedule.Unfortunately, you’re just not compatible with the designated theme of the party.I apologize, but we do expect you to participate in the sexual activity, not just watch.[/alert]

Occasionally, one does have to be a little mean to kick someone out. Or just start the orgy and let someone sit alone for a while and realize they’re all alone.

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Asking for Money

fucking bareback orgyI am not a big proponent of asking for designated amounts. I went to one orgy once that required $20 to get in. Funny thing, when I left after finding it a bust, the “donation” basket sat full by the front door. While I could have absconded with hundreds of dollars, I just took my twenty back since I didn’t shoot a load. I felt I didn’t get my money’s worth.

I don’t think it’s a big deal to suggest people tip for security or other things, but an actual admission or cover starts making it more like a sex club. Why do that?

Whatever you do, make it a donation or a suggested donation or optional tip.

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The Orgy Begins

I believe in alcohol.

Beer, wine, shots or something is needed before the “official” kick off of the orgy should begin.

Consider the booze a little lubricant for the party. It’s needed for people to get to know each other. I sometimes like for there to be an hour or so before the official orgy begins and the loosening up period begin.

This allows for people who feel out of place to leave (without you asking them). It also allows a little time for the inhibitions to go down.

Now it does depend on the type of party. For a blackout or darkroom or fog party where the room is dark, you don’t need this. But sometimes it is needed so people can become more comfortable.

Also, as the party begins, consider turning the air conditioning or heater temperature down, cracking a window or something to cool the space off. The space will heat up quickly. However, if the space is cooled off too well, no one will get naked.

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Boosting Sexual Success

People hired to applaud at appropriate times during a performance are known as claqueurs Open-New-Window-External and, in a way, the host and a few others need to be such at an orgy.

Your orgy claqueurs will act as instigators of action. They’ll start blowjobs or fucking or get naked or jerking off or whatever it takes to break the ice and get the action going.

With every orgy, the sexual energy ebbs and flows with the attendees and the vibe. You want to choose sexual people who can seemingly create sexual tension out of nothing.

Asking people to be your orgy instigators of action will help tremendously so you aren’t always the one.

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Ending the Orgy

Unless you’ve decided to make a night of it by hosting some sort of sleep over, the party must come to an end. Some people just don’t seem to take a hint.

I suggest giving a definitive end to your party in time. If you’re having a good time and it goes over, then don’t worry. But when you’re ready, just tell the lingerers, “Hey, I didn’t realize it’s after 1 a.m. I’m going to have to get up early tomorrow. Do you guys mind taking this someplace else?”

They’ll mosey out the door in due time.

The other option is to simply bring them their clothes. Hint, hint!

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