Recently I posted a screenshot from Grindr sent to an openly POZ barebacker who happened to be online in Pittsburgh recently. The young man, who asked me not to use his name or photo, sent me the screenshot. He’d been floored.
Since turning HIV-positive a few years prior, he’d been honest with everyone online about his status as well as his preference to bareback. The result hadn’t been as much acceptance as there had been scorn, like this example.
I’d asked iBLASTinside readers to respond and some of you did. I wish a few more would, but here’s what I’ve received so far…
Those Who Protest Too Much
Andre wrote on 28 June 2012:
I don’t see what the fuss is about barebacking … it’s a personal choice and more than likely the a-hole who text those messages in the image above probably barebacks as well, when push comes to shove … you know what they say about those who protest too much …
Kudos to Leather Pup
Mindtrip wrote on 28 June 2012:
And people wonder why guys are lead to lie about their status.
It’s not just rejection; it is this hatred and disdain that leads to fear.
Kudos to this leather pup for his honesty to himself and to others.
Report and Block his Punk Ass
SeaGuy wrote on 29 June 2012:
People who send messages like the one above to someone they do not know, attacking that person for the lifestyle they lead, are usually pathetic individuals who hate themselves for partaking in the particular lifestyle choice they are so against.
They also tend to not have anything else going on in their life. I don’t know of anyone in my life who has a hobby attacking strangers for barebacking. I would just report that pathetic hater for hate speech to Grindr then block his punk ass. He’s so pathetic it’s not worth your time to dwell on it.
Meet this Shit with Payback
HungLatinDom posted on 28 June 2012:
You should post the Grindr profile of the guy too. This kind of shit must be met with a payback. That kind of hate cannot be let unbound and with no response.
I pity the jerk, in any case. This kind of person hates us because we spoil their perfect life; if it would not be because filthy fags like us, he could have plenty of bareback sex. He wants it, he can’t have it, we are to blame. WHEN (not if) he gets poz, it’s gonna be ugly. I have seen it before, but it’s fair payback. All that hate is in their minds, nobody else is to blame.
When I seroconverted, I took it rather well. I made my life better in some aspects and realize some things. I never discriminated against poz gays, I was in peace with myself. Haters like him don’t have that advantage and they realize they turned into something they hate violently.
A Note from Mark
When I received the screenshot, I asked for the guy’s photo if the young pup had it. Like most chicken shits, he’d never uploaded a photo and, as you see in the image, never chosen a name for himself. Believe me, if I’d had any further information, I’d gladly have published it.
Payback Is Not Cool
GermanFucker wrote on 28 June 2012:
Someone who is open about his barebacking habits and his serostatus deserves all the respect and praise in the world, just like those who lie and mislead in order to infect deserve the scorn of the community. If you are open about barebacking and HIV everybody else can make his own decisions and will eventually realize that there are a lot of poz people out there and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with them. (And that if you want to be on the safe side, you can use a condom.)
However I find language like, “This kind of shit must be met with a payback,” dangerous and frightening.
Dude is a moron and a hater. He deserves to be ridiculed, made fun off and exposed for the douche he is. More than that he should be educated. What would not be ok is if someone went out and tried to poz the guy. There are limits. Calling it “payback” is a bit too much of a blank cheque. Not cool.
Karma Will Get Him
gd wrote on 28 June 2012
This kid is probably going to get what he deserves. He is going to piss off a guy he shouldn’t about barebacking and he is going to get it. It’s that-asshole-better-than-thou attitude that guys hate. It’s one thing to disagree but another to hate and be so forceful about your view and so cryptic and dangerous.
I’ll admit it I am not really that much of a barebacker. I want to do it more but I am nervous and afraid. It’s sort of on hold right now. However sometimes I get messages from poz or undectable tops even though it’s in my profile I am not into that.
I don’t tell them to go die in a hole or go to AIDS country or anything like that. I tell them how flattered I am but I would rather try to play with neg guys (even though guys lie).
Some of them are okay but some get pissed. Some guys have called me a stupid naïve asshole for thinking that it’s okay to bareback with neg guys because all guys are poz and I am going to get pozzed anyways so I might as well do it with him. How romantic.
Everyone has their own view of barebacking.
Some guys don’t care about status and do it with anyone. Some guys are cum dumps. Some care about the status, and some are afraid to bareback.
I have nothing against poz guys or undetectable guys. Some I have talked to seem so nice and knowledgeable that I feel I am at fault for turning them down sometimes. But I don’t want to be poz. It might happen one day but I am really young and I want to stay neg for as long as I can. Safest way to do that right now is limit going raw tremendously. I really wanted to go to that CumUnion thing though but that would be dangerous.
I actually respect tops and bottoms both who, with their heart and mind, decide that they want to bareback and are not ashamed or afraid of it and don’t give a damn what others’ think. It’s their choice, their right, and their life and they don’t pussyfoot about it or make excuses.
But guys like this asshole on Grindr? He’ll say the same thing about an older guy or a guy he considers ugly.
Karma will get him.
I Enjoy Raw Sex Too Much to Wait for Love
Pete wrote on 28 June 2012:
I’m a recent convert to the (openly) bareback camp (with much thanks to this website for the encouragement to do it).
While I won’t be telling friends and family I’m doing it (that would just bring on worry I don’t think is necessary), I will be openly asking people I meet online if they will bareback (and if they are negative, although not asking hasn’t stopped me in the past). I’m just going to use my smarts to see if I think the person is being honest with me. I’m a pretty good judge of character.
As for the feeling guilty or having people possibly hate me for not understanding why I won’t practice safe sex, I made myself think about why I was doing it and came up with this as my excuse if I’m ever asked: If society will only possibly accept sex without a condom within a monogamous relationship, then I’m not willing to wait until I find someone to do that with.
I enjoy raw sex too much to wait for a love that may not come. Love is fleeting and hard to seek; sex is easy and fun, if done with the right partner(s).
You’re only hurting yourself if you believe you are. Yes, there are people out there who won’t ever be honest and try to stealth and make others poz; while I don’t agree with that, I do find the stories that involve on this site incredibly hot (so I can’t really judge). It’s totally the taboo nature of subverting the person who doesn’t want to “give in” and making it happen regardless. It’s bold & selfish, but incredibly intoxicating.
Life is worth living when you can just be yourself. Thanks to the commenters on this site for making me feel proud for doing it.
Doing What Cums Naturally
Versatile RAW Piggy Bottom wrote on 29 June 2012:
It is a shame that the person contacted you and showed how much hate he has for people who are honest in what they like and want. Most likely he is hating his own life and has to spread that hate onto others — and especially to those doing what he desires to do. Have sex naturally….bareback.
Much Love & Support!
Jonas wrote on 29 June 2012:
That’s disgusting. I mean this guy clearly did nothing wrong, so he should never get messages like that.
I hate shortsighted people.
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