Tag Archives: Humor

April Fools! Who The Fuck Would Believe I’d Go Safe?

April Fools! Who The Fuck Would Believe I’d Go Safe?

double-bag-it-douchebagI lied Opens new window of a page on this blog. April Fools!

When I posted earlier on April 1 that I was going safe — so safe I’d begin double bagging my cock for fucking — it was nothing more than an April Fools joke.

Oh come on. Did you read it? I wrote I would fuck all for the bottom’s pleasure!

When in the fuck would I do that?

Just a little humor. Sometimes I let things get a little too heavy around here.

Here’s to spring. Let’s hope this winter shit and all the cold is behind us.

Happy Ending Erotic Therapeutic Massage Atlanta

Temporary Visitor Chad Makes for a Great Addition to Atlanta’s Massage Therapist Scene

See the other Atlanta Massage Therapists Opens new window of a page on this blog previously reviewed.

Chad Turns Blond into Gold-Star Service

Chad-Massage-TherapistChad

Profile on MasseurFinder.com as Chad Open-New-Window-External
Inactive profile on MassageM4M.com as Chad Open-New-Window-External
His online cell is listed as (323) 899-7688

Highlights

bullet Chad earn the best rating of all 10 currently reviewed therapists
bullet 33 years old, 6 feet tall, 175 pounds, dirty blond with unshaven look, light blue eyes and 7 inches cut

bullet Massages in the nude with light body hair, nicely trimmed where it needs to be
bullet Mutual touch is allowed and the way he maneuvers, it’s practically encouraged
bullet His massage is Swedish based and on a bed in his hotel room, as he’s currently traveling the country
bullet In the Atlanta area, he’s currently staying
I-85 near Druid Hills Road but that could change
bullet When he leaves Atlanta, he’ll be in Nashville, Knoxville, Arkansas and eventually San Francisco

Update

bullet Pissed off about this review; see his response Opens new window of a page on this blog
bullet Leaves Atlanta on March 17, 2013
bullet Chad does NOT bareback Opens new window of a page on this blog

four-out-of-five-stars rating

Atlanta’s massage therapists Opens new window of a page on this blog bring a certain lackluster approach to their skills. I’ve tried a few and am looking to try more. It’s a challenge because most massage therapists don’t seem to know a damn thing about customer service (but that’s another entry).

What I want to write about is Chad.

For the past month or so, I’ve been seeking a good therapist who knows a thing or two about connecting with a client. I’ve been able to get a decent massage — at least technically good. The therapist will find the knots, work it out for a while, make me feel some pain.

A little while later, the therapist will make me feel good.

But all the while, this gulf is between us. We are two people, going through motions and not sensing how the other feels.

I wrote a long while back about my two Filipino massage therapists Opens new window of a page on this blog, one of whom I had when I lived in Washington, D.C. This guy had the most incredible body, was half my age, but during our massage could find this weird space that created a kind of mindmeld where the two of us would synchronize.

Look, I do not get off on a blowjob, much less a handjob. But with a few strokes after his build up, this guy had be blasting all over myself.

Back to Chad

Let’s just say things could have been rocky with Chad. I’d like to say he’s a little down on his luck, but his attitude seems so cheerful as he’s figuring out where he wants to go. Or maybe he’s just a wandering gypsy nowadays. He has some adventures to tell, I’m sure. But he made it easy to set things up and I met him.

Like me, his sense of humor is a little twisted. And since his hotel room is so damn small, he can’t really accommodate a massage table.

Chads-ass-Massage-TherapistThank God.

His technique allowed this kind of luxurious relaxed posed where he’d lounge next to me. It wasn’t so much trying to get his dick to touch my leg as the fact his body would just naturally seem to fit up against me.

He started with my legs, which seemed a little weird. Then he worked up to my back. When he got to my shoulders, he almost cradled me in his arms and across his smooth (and trimmed) chest.

Was it hot? Not. It was comfortable. And erotic. I mean, just felt right. Strangely so.

I truly enjoyed his skill, although he never really integrated deep tissue. He picked up intrinsically on those points of my body that provided more pleasure and worked them expertly.

He just connected with me. We connected together. It was unspoken. In fact, when we spoke, I don’t know if we got along. But when we didn’t speak, he could weave some magic between us.

Best Massage Therapist Reviewed Yet

The quality of the lotion could be much better, as it seemed to be generic and not meant to be for massage. And cleaning up with tissue paper rather than a towel didn’t really work for me. I think if those two had been in place, I’d definitely given him another half star to put him at 4½.

Still, his 4-star rating earns Chad the best rating of all the massage therapists Opens new window of a page on this blog I’ve seen in the area (and, frankly, out of the area) in recent years.

I hope Chad let’s me know where he’s going so I can see him again. It will be well worth visiting him again. And while he’s in the Atlanta area, I encourage you all to seek him out and book an appointment.

bullet_square_green        bullet_square_green        bullet_square_green

Want to be included in my massage therapist or escort review list?

If you would like to be reviewed, feel free to contact Mark Bentson at his contact page Opens a new window from this blog or via e-mail iblastinside@gmail.com . These entries are at the discretion of Mark Bentson and in no way would any services provided to Mark guarantee or indicate any review (positive or negative) may or may not appear on these pages Opens new window of a page on this blog.

Reviews of male escorts, companions and massage therapists in the Atlanta area are included here. Mark also provides training to those escorts, companions and massage therapists as well as marketing services such as web, e-mail, blog and social media advice for compensation and barter. Mark can maximize the financial intake you receive by teaching you basics Opens a new window from this blog  as well as advanced techniques.

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Did I Fuck? No. No Birthday Breeding. Just Blue Balls for My 44th!

Did I Fuck? No. No Birthday Breeding. Just Blue Balls for My 44th!

Someday, when the cash is flush and the time is right — perhaps when I turn 45 — I will get to have a birthday bash someplace interesting with warning and get a few more guys to show up.

Fuck.

Get someone to show up.

No one came up to me, if anyone who knew me was there. Now I might not have expected it, but it would have been nice to meet someone. Maybe next year, as I said.

Alas, I still had a terrific time at Swinging Richards, as is my thing. I think it’s the mindfuck of it all where these straight guys all pretend to be interested in gay guys. That’s not the mindfuck mind you. It’s where they’re fooling themselves that they really don’t enjoy guys.

I just imagine them, twenty or thirty years from now, married, no longer gorgeous, paunchy men in these loveless marriages, teenage kids, jerking off in their mancaves late at night, bored with their lives, wishing something would change, watching porn on those huge-ass virtual screens.

Then they wonder why they’re paying more attention to the cock going in the va-jay-jay.

If they don’t start molesting their sons, blessed with the same beauty they had, they’ll seek out cocksuckers at first. Not finding too many, they’ll start sucking the cock themselves.

And they will like it.

The secret enjoyment of those moments in the VIP rooms with strangers who were decent looking will fuel jerkoff sessions and even more.

Of course, a few of the men there “get it,” including one of my favorites, who legitimately seems to be bi leaning on the gay side.

Oh, and for those of you who might recall I started a bit of fiction a while back. Last night, after years of visiting, I met the man upon whom the elusive character Djon is based, which just might cause me to resurrect writing The Company. Who knows?

After my time at Swinging Richards, I went to Inserection.

Double fuck.

The place was packed. Filled to the brim. With tops.

For more than two hours, I wandered the halls and rooms and booths only to get a bunch of nothing. I think two men touched my cock. No blowjob. Nothing. I went home, a burrito from Taco Loco next door and crawled into bed around 5:30 a.m.

The funny thing, I actually had a great time. So I’m building up a big load. And a case of blue balls.

Anyone want it?

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iBLASTinside Bareback Blog

Mark Bentson, the Raw Top who Breeds Ass Via Gloryholes, Stealthing, Anonymous Gay Sex, Hotel Hook-Ups, Etc.

Warning, This Blog Is Not Safe for Work (NSFW) Or the Humorless Or for Condom Nazis. And check out the Terms of Use.

Bareback Blog iBLASTinside

By Raw Top and Skin-to-Skin Sex Advocate Mark Bentson, Co-founder of the Bareback Brotherhood (#BBBH)

Mark is always looking for Cum Dumps, Porn Stars, Male Escorts, Sex Clubs, Male Strippers, Sleazy Atlanta Information and More

This is an Adult Website. In fact, this is an Adult Gay Website and Bareback Blog.

It’s also a Humorous Website, occasionally employing Sarcasm, Dry Wit and Satire. If your Humor Emulator and/or Tolerance Capabilities have been turned off, it is recommended you go

Oh, okay, it’s not only Adult and Gay, it’s not only Funny and Offensive, it also advocates sexual practices that freak some people out, so thoroughly read the warning below.

If you’re at all worried about anything stated, then you need to go somewhere else like here or here or possibly even here.

Otherwise, check things out.

I am a raw top. This means I stick my bare dick into an ass without a condom.

Bareback. BB. BBBH. #BBBH.

For lube, I prefer spit or someone else’s cum. I do not use condoms and if I do, I sabotage them.

A Quick Guide to iBLASTinside aka Mark Bentson

What you need to know, want to know or just in general I want you to know.

I am a top. I fuck ass any way I can. This isn’t a popular idea, as I get a variety of feedback from praise to detailed death threats.

My cock is a solid 7 inches. It is not huge. It’s not thick. It’s perfectly average (as seen here). The most extraordinary thing about my cock is that it’s rock hard and it tends to stay hard if I’m turned on by the bottom.me and my hard cock

I shoot huge loads. I do not pull out for you to see them. But many bottoms report you can feel me shoot.

I am 49 years old. Yes, that’s ancient, I realize that. But I’m honest. I’m 6 foot 2 inches tall and 255 pounds. I could stand to lose a few pounds but fuck, except for those perfect twentysomethings (and most of us seem perfect then), who shouldn’t?

I’ve got more gray than brown hair (to me, salt & pepper indicates black and gray hair). I’m usually clean-shaven in the spring and summer but usually grow a beard around November for the winter.

I look like a geek. I do not fuck like I look.

I’ve fucked and bred more than 5,000 asses since my first fuck at 15.

I will not simply take a blow job. I don’t jerk off. I don’t use condoms and, if forced to do so, I will take the condom off or worse.

I only breed ass. That’s all that I do. My cum belongs in a man’s ass.

What’s your status? 

I do not answer that question unless we are about to fuck. Sometimes I don’t even answer it then.

I will not fuck you if you smoke or are tweaked out.

Even if you’re a “considerate” or “social” smoker. It won’t happen. So don’t beg.

Want to contact me?

Here’s My BarebackRT profile and E-Mail contact.

Fuck Without Fear

Do you want my cock and cum in your ass? It can happen.

Controversial reading material. Not safe for work. #NSFW. But if you like to jerk off, there’s plenty of material here for you to enjoy. Chances are, you will.

Additionally, this site does have a serious side to it. Not only do I address my mid-life crisis and being sexually molested as a youth, I also cover being bullied and ultimately fired at work.

This is one of many bareback blogs, by an active barebacker who fucks raw on purpose. I’ve fucked thousands of men and this blog discusses how I mark my territory with DNA and the Jizzjoy experience that some bottoms feel.

Additionally, I’ve endorsed bottoms I’ve fucked as well men I want to fuck with my Broken Virginity Seal of Approval. So if you’ve got a problem with that, please go search for something else.

I believe plastic is terrific for storing food or protection on the pitch, but not when it comes to intimate acts between men. I write a blog with somewhat regular updates and I’ve also got some terrific tips on visiting a gay bathhouse, gloryhole etiquette, a guide to poppers and my own theories of how the male population breaks down.

I’m also quite controversial for stealthing. What is stealthing? Of course all the information is available here plus tips on how to stealth.

As a resident of the Atlanta area, I also review what the A-T-L offers when it comes to the sleazy side of things. I make sure to highlight sex clubs, adult bookstores and male stripper bars like Swinging Richards or go-go boy dancer bars like BJ Roosters. If I’m missing something, please let me know.

I’m even willing to endorse individuals with my Broken Virginity Seal of Approval, for those folks I know who are really willing to meet and fuck.

If you’re curious about me, you can always get in touch with me easily or follow me on Twitter. I’m also on BarebackRT under the same name. And I like getting to know my readers as well as meeting them and fucking them.

February 2014 Update: New Open Letter to Bottoms Interested in Getting Fucked by iBLASTinside

Why Do You Bareback?

Because condoms are for pussies and not for assholes.

What is Stealthing?We’ve created boner pills and made all sorts of medical advances, the one thing I can’t comprehend is why we’ve not found ways to allow intimacy between two men.

Instead, we continue to insist that a plastic barrier between two humans is the best protection.

Moreover, with everything else in the world that’s labeled dangerous, we make it optional — cigarettes, alcohol, fatty foods, seat belts, driving too fast, recreational drug use, etc. Instead, society — even gay men — demonize this one act.

An alcoholic, meth sniffing, smoker with syphilis who happens to use a condom is more accepted in the gay community that a healthy, negative, STD-free, HIV-negative barebacker.

That is fucked up.

I spent my youth paralyzed in fear with every sexual encounter, avoiding contact with any bodily fluids.

Then suffering for weeks (when it took longer) to get my tests back.

At some point, I decided to stop worrying and to start living.

If I got hit by a bus or some other tragic act, I would regret not having real sex with men.

Do You Believe in Monogamy?

In simple terms, no. Monogamy does not and cannot exist between two men. I will never dedicate myself to only one hole to fuck. And I prefer that any hole I fuck have had other men and their sperm inside it.

With any sexual encounter, you should always carefully consider your options and make conscious choices, knowing the possible results of your decisions. You should be fully aware of your surroundings and the activities of all participants, especially knowing that everyone is not trustworthy, no matter how many muscles he has or how big his cock is. If you choose to use condoms and you are the bottom, consider bringing your own condoms and compatible lube. Remember, the only truly “safe sex” is sex alone or no sex at all.

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About Me

About Me

Everything you wanted to know and may want to know but didn’t ask

Born out of wedlock, adopted into a Christian home, somehow I turned out okay, finding my way in the world after growing up a goody two-shoes. Some of that goodness remains. I don’t jaywalk and I’ve never, ever done an illegal substance. Yet, I’ve attempted to violate sodomy laws in every Bible Belt state and beyond.

If you’re easily offended or confused, I don’t recommend approaching me. I’m not safe for work (NSFW) and usually offensive to almost everyone who’s ever met me. My sense of humor is biting, sarcastic, dry and can be harmful if swallowed (unless you’re talking about my cum which can be swallowed but I prefer injecting elsewhere).

For all the basics of your interest, here we go.

Mark in rubberMy age (in the traditional year measurement) is 45.

My Zodiac sign (in case you care about that shit) is Taurus (and I promise I’m bullishly stubborn as hell).

It’s not much better if you’re into the Chinese Zodiac cause it makes me a Ram and God knows I like to ram Opens a new window from this blog.

Born in Georgia and all my formative childhood and very early adulthood years spent here but I’ve also lived in FloridaWashington, D.C.Virginia and Maryland. Currently, I live in the far northern suburbs outside Atlanta Opens a new window from this blog.

My educational experience includes Bachelor’s and Master’s degrees. Details of these forays into academia fail to properly convey the education and experience gained beyond the influence of most professors. That said, intelligence might be among the greatest aphrodisiacs for me.

For the puerile among the readers who probably skipped over that word to get to the so-called “good stuff” …

  • 45 years old
  • Light brown hair
  • Speckled green eyes behind nerd glasses
  • Light beard
  • 6 foot, 2½ inches tall
  • 230 pounds
  • Moderately hairy (more legs and ass than chest; no back hair)
  • 7 inches cut, rock hard and big juicy loads
  • Top (95 percent of the time)
  • Barebacker (99.95 percent of the time)
  • Geekish good looks
  • Size 12 shoes
  • Extra large gloves

Adorkable, nerdastic, geekalicious, we all must face our destinies. I am a geek. I am a nerd. I know that, upon seeing me, most assume I’m the smartest guy in the room who can likely operate the audio-visual equipment or fix your computer. Under most circumstances, that assumption holds true.

Popping out a load

However, just beneath the façade of the geek holds a creative genius, a devious plotter and a mischievous thinker who maneuvers through and will mindfuck and stealth-fuck Opens a new window from this blog.

Introvert Opens a new window from this blog might best describe me, as you will rarely find me in crowds. Shyness isn’t a problem. I speak with authority and I own my feelings. Someone once told me I had a “quiet dominance” that makes me a force. But since I don’t conform to the normal ideal of what people think of dominant, because I’m not a muscle daddy in leather, I don’t scream or order through gritted teeth.

So consider the alternative. Everyone else. Or me. Different. Unique. Unusual.

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