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Q&A: Can His Poz (But Undetectable) Load Go into My Neg Ass and I Stay Neg?

Q&A: Can His Poz (But Undetectable) Load Go into My Neg Ass and I Stay Neg?

QuestionI love reading your blog! Not only is it hotter than fuck, but it’s also super informative.

My partner and I are both in our 40s. He’s poz, I’m neg. Recently, after almost a decade together, we started fucking bareback.

When I fuck him, I don’t use a condom and I cum inside him.

When he fucks me (which is more frequent) he pulls out and cums on my ass. I’d love for him to cum inside me but he won’t do it. He doesn’t want to be responsible for making me poz.

His viral load has been undetectable for years.

What are the risks to me if he were to cum inside me? I really want his load in me.

Your blog rocks!

AnswerKudos on you two sharing your DNA! Well, one of you is sharing yours, actually. You really want his and to experience jizzjoy Open-New-Window-External.

I’m going to give you the skinny first with a couple of alternatives.

What Your Doctor Might Say…

What the fuck do you think you’re doing? Slap that condom on both of you and forget about it.

The Drug Route

Serodiscordant Open-New-Window-External couples, as a physician would call you, makes the negative partner a perfect candidate for prophylaxis Truvada Open-New-Window-External regimen, which means you’d take the antiviral as a precaution against getting HIV.

It’s an expensive choice and, in some cases, your insurance may not cover it since it’s just preventative. Plus, you may or may not suffer side effects of the drug.

Now for what I really think.

And part of me wants to take you both, slap you up side the head and then have your partner fuck you and teach you, as a bottom, how to make sure that fucking load ends up with it belongs.

You’re both already doing everything else.

When You Fuck Your Boyfriend

Let me paint a picture.

Micron-DickThis is your cock in the photo your provided to the right. It is 8 inches long and 4 inches around.

Now because HIV is a little bugger, I’m just (for fuck’s sake) going to convert inches into millimeters because that’s the smallest measurement we all think of in our daily lives (but you’re going to be proud because your cock is going to sound huge).

Your cock is 203 mm long and 102 mm around.

The approximate surface area of your cock is 24,000 square millimeters (if your cock were a perfect cylinder, and that calculation skips the base).

That much surface area is going into the HIV-rich juices of your boyfriend’s ass every time you fuck him. Every time. Deep in his gut.

Visualize that for a moment. The smallest skin cut gives a route into your skin.

Now to get really fucking real, HIV is 10,000 times smaller than a millimeter. HIV is about 0.1 micron. In other words, if we were to measure the area of your cock in microns, that would be 24 million square microns. And each square micron could give 100 bugs to pass through at any given time.

Let’s multiply that out even more and say that the “holes” available for HIV to invade your body just through your cock’s surface area alone is something like 2.4 billion.

But so far, you haven’t gotten it.

It’s not like you’re not risking getting it when you fuck him.

When Your Boyfriend Tops You

Has he put a cork in his cock? Has he assured there’s no precum slipping out through that pee-hole?

I’ve never gotten the whole “pulling out” bullshit, which is why I blast inside (sorry, couldn’t resist).

Now he’s inside you, pumping away. Your most vulnerable moments are when you first stretch out and microfissures can open up in the linings of the colon. The colon offers lots of opportunity to transfer bodily fluids both ways, but of course the bottom is receiving.

As he’s fucking you in those early stages, he is grinding his fluids into your ass and into whatever openings are there. You’re getting his precum, his spit, his sweat, left over piss, and pretty much anything else between the two of you anyway.

Take those same measurements and of his cock and you can take the amount of your interior skin being exposed to his fluids through that touch.

I’m skipping your oral activity and the debatable kissing and other fun stuff. And I didn’t even bother to suggest there might be something a little more kinky going on.

Here’s the Point

If you were to become poz, it likely would have already happened. But let me make the logical point.

Your boyfriend’s viral load — the amount of the virus in his blood — is undetectable. I can’t stress this enough. Tests can’t detect it.

I know it’s not an exact congruence, but it’s like HIV has gone into remission. It’s hiding. It’s somewhere in the body, but you just don’t know where it is or when and where it will likely turn up.

While there’s a chance that it could change at anytime and reemerge, for now he’s essentially negative.

You’re both basically seroconcordant Open-New-Window-External.

Either fuck or don’t. I personally say fuck. Your boyfriend needs to understand that you can just as easily become HIV-positive by what you’re currently doing if the virus decides to return. But tomorrow there could be an earthquake or an asteroid or a car wreck. I’m not suggesting you live your life as if you’ll die tomorrow. I’m suggesting you live your life as if the traffic light is on green all the time, not yellow.

Postscript

You do need to be prepared for the possibility of conversion Open-New-Window-External, even if you keep fucking the same way you are now. And while I wouldn’t pretend to know the nature of your relationship, I am betting you don’t have a problem with being poz. He’s not hearing you right now because he sees the prejudice that being positive brings among gays.

I want that to stop as much as you do. My point of all this was to make it clear that you both are lucky to have found one another. It’s a wonderful thing to share and your partner needs to stop feeling guilty that he might expose you to something that you’re exposed to already.

It’s a choice you’ve both made to share. I think it’s wonderful.

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Mark Bentson aka iBLASTinside welcomes getting messages from his readers and loves answering them. Send a message to iBLASTinside@gmail.com mailbox_full or hit him up on his contact page Opens new window of a page on this blog.

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Plan T: Make Truvada Available OTC

Plan T: Make Truvada Available OTC

Getting barebacking recognized as a legitimate option in sexual relations will not happen as an issue by itself. Despite the studies that have appeared showing at least half of all gay men bareback just doesn’t capture the attention of those who live in that state of denial where safe sex is hot sex Opens new window of a page on this blog.

I wrote recently some ideas that need to be developed to reduce the chance of HIV transmission in barebacking Opens new window of a page on this blog.

Most of them do not exist but one does — sort of. That’s Truvada Open-New-Window-External. It’s a cocktail antiviral that’s been shown effective as an anti-HIV prophylactic — meaning that men in “high risk categories” take the drug and it essentially prevents the body from contracting HIV.

But tests also show that taking Truvada in the week following possible exposure to HIV also prevents contracting the virus permanently.

It’s like Plan B Open-New-Window-External for gays.

I think we should call it Plan T, for two reasons:

1. “T” for Truvada (or its generic name, Tenofovir)

2. And the whole idea is to protect all the “T” cells.

If we, as a barebacking community, needed a rally cry, I think we might have found it. It’s captured some attention on Twitter. Even Paul Morris of Treasure Island Media agrees with this.

paul-morris-tweet

Fighting Doctors and Pharmaceutical Companies

Paul is right that doctors would fight it, but I think the greater fight would come from the drug companies. Just think of this: Have you heard of many cures of lately? Is there a cure for cancer? A cure for anything?

I have this fungus on my chest, right between my pecs. I’ve now had it for more than 10 years. Seems like I should be able to get rid of it. But every six months or so, it flares back up. It’s just this red, splotchy thing that comes out of no where and thrives due to — of all things — water. I put the designated medicine on it and it goes away. And for months after it disappears, I keep applying it. But it lies dormant until I stop applying the medicine then it comes back out of its hiding.

I believe that this is the ultimate plan of the drug companies. They are not out to create cures. They’re out to create treatments.

Gilead Sciences, who make Truvada, must be shown that it would benefit from a lot more men taking the short-term Plan T than waiting for men to go onto the long-term HIV-Positive treatment with Truvada or one of the other cocktail options. Once Gilead crunches those numbers and sees the cost analysis benefit,I think they’ll start pushing for over-the-counter dispensing of Plan T as an option.

But if the cost analysis doesn’t go Plan T’s way, Gilead will oppose it.

Worth a Shot

I still think it’s worth a shot. It’s time barebacking had an issue that wasn’t just about sexual freedom. And this one may be it.

Q&A: Truth Inside the Truth & the Truth When It Should Be a Lie

Q&A: Truth Inside the Truth & the Truth When It Should Be a Lie

Grindr-Hate-MessageHIV is a stigma. Don’t ask me. Ask someone who has it. Ask anyone who’s bold enough to actually put on their Grindr, Manhunt or Scruff profile that their Poz and see what happens. Here’s an example I used earlier of a friend of mine on Grindr who was messages for his profile which honestly revealed he’s Poz Opens new window of a page on this blog.

It’s bullshit.

Lately, I’ve gotten a couple of questions from readers who had issues involving Poz men, one making me think of this particular bias. I thought both were particularly telling and deserved to be told. Forgive me for sharing because I didn’t exactly ask these gentlemen’s permission, but I think I’ve averted anything devastating and I’m obscuring their identities.

Truth Inside the Truth:
Who Should Fuck Me, Poz or Undetectable?

QuestionI had only ever barebacked with boyfriends…. But I’m feeling that total slutty sex itch from deep within my hole and I kind of want to try bareback with a total stranger. Let’s face it: it was fucking hot, man! So, I joined BarebackRT.com Open-New-Window-External.

The first couple of days the only hits I got were from guys in the country and a couple of men in my home state, but several hundred miles away.

Today, I got hit up by two VERY hung tops, both within five miles of my home. One top says, “Undetectable.” The other says, “Positive.”

I really want to give it up again and I really want it to be raw, but  their status just scares me.

I almost hope I had never even looked at their status. I don’t know. I wonder if I would have even cared had I not known.

Which leads me to question whether or not I’m ready… A big part of me says, “Fuck it! Let’s do it!” But the other me says, “No.”

Advice?

(Give your own answer! Scroll to the survey below Scroll Down.)

 

AnswerYou need to ease into this world you’re exploring. So much of what you’re been conditioned is that HIV Poz is bad and you’ll die if you get it. No matter how much you logically know that’s not true, you still have this embedded conditioning — and almost Pavlovian response — that creates and illogical fear of bareback sex.

It just isn’t true.

So let’s just break through this with a little more logic.

Men who are undetectable have technically at one point been exposed to HIV. However, their antiviral cocktails have been so effective that it’s resulted in repressing the virus so far down that a blood test cannot detect it.

Basically, these guys are now neg again.

HIV hasn’t disappeared from the body. However, the main route by which the the virus is transmitted lacks it.

Your chances of getting infected by an undetectable man are more than likely less than a man who claims he’s neg. Here’s why:

Neg men aren’t really that religious and consistent about having themselves checked for HIV and other sexually transmitted infections. Neg men really don’t have a doctor hovering over blood tests to check all their levels and call them when a six-month test is missed.

HIV-neg men aren’t even notified or bothered about their next test by most gay doctors. And that’s the sexually active men who’ve bothered to tell their doctors they bareback.

Fuck, mine doesn’t even know I go raw. He lectures me but just assumes I’m using condoms.

You are so much safer with undetectable on a cocktail. There’s no guarantees. But just fuck it and go for it. You’ll be glad you did. Then in about six weeks, set up an appointment and keep it every three to six months.

Eventually, the guilt fades and your fear response will die down and you’ll just remember the fun.

 

Truth When It Should Be a Lie:
He Said, ‘Fuck Off, I Don’t Fuck Poz Bottoms!’

I get on Scruff and meet this fucking hot thirtysomething. We get to chatting and, bonus of all bonuses, he takes cock raw and tells me it’s his policy for the top not to pull out. I assure him that iBLASTinside (and he doesn’t get it — obviously, not a reader).

He can’t wait for me to fuck him bit I’m sort of booked for the afternoon when he says he only gets fucked twice a year.

“Twice a year?” I question. “You surely get fucked a lot more than that. You’re really hot.”

Well, he explains the Poz thing turns men off. And he’s a bit of a stickler on being honest and up front. He refuses to use a condom so he gets told more often to “fuck off” rather than to “get fucked.”

He doesn’t exactly ask a question, but it ends up I give him a bit of advice.

(Give your own answer! Scroll to the survey below Scroll Down.)

Answer(for advice) As it turns out, you’ve recently tested “undetectable.” This means that if the traditional HIV tests were run at this time, the virus could not be found in your blood — you’d appear essentially “negative” to people. 

At one point, you appeared positive, but if you said, “In my most recent tests, I came out ‘negative,’ you technically would not be lying.” This is especially true since you will be acting as the bottom.

I understand you have a conscious and you feel telling these random hook-ups — and that’s what they are — a random hook-up — that you’re negative and you’ve actually tested positive at one point may be considered a lie. But the risk you present to these slutty barebackers is almost non-existent.

Like I say above, it’s more risky for these guys to have sex with men who believe they’re neg but aren’t being tested all that often.

It is their own bias that drives them to say, “No” to you when chances are, several of the supposed “neg” guys aren’t neg at all. You’re safer to fuck than any of them.

Further, let’s look at it in another direction:

Let’s say your grandfather on your mother’s side was black. You look white. But the guy has one of those racist profiles that say, “Not into black guys. Sorry. Just how I am.” Technically, dude, you are a little black. Now he messages you because you look white. You’re attracted to him. You pass as white.

But the truth is, you are part black.

Do you tell him you’re black?

It’s not going to hurt him not to know. In fact, it might be a lot of fun.

What Do You Think?

Now it’s your turn to chime in. I’ve got three questions based on my advice. I want to see what you all think about my responses:

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Who should the neg guy get fucked by?

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If you're poz but undetectable, is it okay to tell a hookup you're actually neg?

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If your maternal grandmother was black but you look white and a hook-up says he doesn't like blacks, should you tell that hook-up you're part black?

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Check back again here for continued results as more people vote.

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Do you have a question you’d like Mark Bentson (aka iBLASTinside) to answer? Send a message to iBLASTinside@gmail.com mailbox_full or hit him up on his contact page Opens new window of a page on this blog.

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What About the Youth of Today and Their Opinions on Bareback? FUCK EM!

What About the Children?

Every time some political football enters the arena — the national debt, gun control, Medicare, climate change, healthcare or whatever the issue happens to be — and one side runs out of arguments, there’s this moment when the pundit tilts his head to one side, gets this misty-eyed reflection and might even choke up a little. And then he or she says something about how this issue will ruin the lives of our children, the next generation, our children’s children or some crap like that.

It’s bullshit. But it’s a reflexive moment where everyone, whether you’ve got children or not, that our instinctual survival-of-the-species part of the monkey-brain kicks in and we collectively think something needs to be done.

Why do you think we all find babies and even the youngest of other species so adorably cute and cuddly? Puppies and kittens? Baby seals?

This is instinct telling us to take care and protect our young.

Now that I’ve explained it, let’s talk a little about the recent attacks on the Bareback Brotherhood Link Opens in a New Window, my fellow bareback bloggers, bareback hookup sites like BarebackRT.com Link Opens in a New Window, our family of pornographers and, more particularly, me.

The Sudden Focus of World AIDS Day

Over the past few years, I’ve come to expect it around December 1, World AIDS Day. Funny how one day prompts some assholes who ignore a class of people living with HIV and AIDS for a whole year but become indignant when they discover bareback sex and groups like the BBBH. One particular person who bugchased Link Opens in a New Window successfully and documented it received some particularly violent threats this year, including details on how they’d like to kill him.

It’s not technically irony (Alanis  Morissette ruined that for all of us), but the condom Nazis Link Opens in a New Window who want to wrap the world in plastic so no one dies of AIDS wants to kill someone for getting AIDS. Just weird.

Once I’d engage these hypocrites who ignore all the other ways our people are dying Opens a new window from this blog, who don’t give a shit that the Gay culture of steroid-muscled youth is built around smoke-filled bars serving alcohol with gun-toting drug dealers selling crystal meth (or “Tina”), ecstasy (or “Molly”), and cocaine.

Where’s your righteous indignation there?

But I don’t. I ignore the attacks nowadays. I delete the anonymous posts to my site wishing I would die or suggesting ways they would kill me. This very website fends off multiple cyber-attacks every second Opens a new window from this blog.

I refused to acknowledge or even link to the clever posts who have all of 200 followers on Twitter Link Opens in a New Window but figure out how to search for my brothers in cum and suggest others block them.

Twitter People to Block If You’re One of Those Self-Righteous, Plastic-Loving Pricks

I’ve been kind enough to compile the list myself. On Twitter alone, I’ve got six barebacker lists with confirmed men all over the world who love to fuck raw:
Blue Bullet One Link Opens in a New Window
Blue Bullet Two Link Opens in a New Window
Blue Bullet Three Link Opens in a New Window
Blue Bullet Four Link Opens in a New Window
Blue Bullet Five Link Opens in a New Window
Blue Bullet Six Link Opens in a New Window

I’ve listed all the Bareback Brotherhood members in four lists:
Blue Bullet One Link Opens in a New Window
Blue Bullet Two Link Opens in a New Window
Blue Bullet Three Link Opens in a New Window
Blue Bullet 
Four Link Opens in a New Window

You’ll also want to check out my fellow co-founders of the BBBH to see their lists.
Blue Bullet @ch4suk Link Opens in a New Window
Blue Bullet @gapozathens Link Opens in a New Window

That should cover all the so-called evil (but very enlightened and sexy) people online you need to block.

There’s even barebackers who somehow misinterpret the basics of the Bareback Brotherhood with strange, concocted vendettas out for me.

Hiding Behind ‘the Children’

Like some final bastion of refuge, the truth is arguing that safer sex is the only sex doesn’t work. The fear that came with AIDS/HIV of the 1980s and 1990s simply doesn’t work. HIV/AIDS is now defined by the medical community as a chronic condition Link Opens in a New Window, like “arthritis, asthma, cancer, COPD [and] diabetes.” It’s like living under the constant “orange” threat after 9/11.

The argument goes that we older folks are influencing younger people in their late teens and early twenties to accept bareback sex as normal and natural. Our “influence” is causing these youths to engage in so-called “unsafe” activity.

No, it’s causing them to act natural.

The most unnatural thing is to stick a piece of plastic on your cock in order to have an intimate act.

It’s not influenced by barebackers.

These assholes have the same kind of sense that we’re converting young men into barebackers the same way the homophobic think the Gays are converting youth into homosexuals.

It’s just ludicrous.

Talk to one. He will tell you about the love for the cum in his ass or dumping a load in a bare ass. It’s nothing to do with influence. It’s a natural appeal to do what comes naturally.

I’m Not Changing Anyone’s Mind

I know I’m not. I know I could never have a reasonable conversation with one of these jackoffs. I also know people who’ve been reading my site about stealthing Opens a new window from this blog and bugchasers Opens a new window from this blog and barebacking are misinterpreting the basics.

I can’t change a mind.

But what I do know is I appreciate the attention.

My readers are higher than ever, especially since some female porn slut thinks she’s got the upper hand on me and she can bareback all the guys she wants but men fucking raw is naughty, naughty.

Well, put me on Santa’s naughty list, take the saddle off the reindeer and let’s ride raw.

Fuck the children! I mean the LEGAL children of age, of course. No stocking for me.

 

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Causes of U.S. Deaths in 2009

What’s Killing People … It’s Not Sex

“It’s good to see a DDF guy on here. There aren’t that many in Atlanta.”

His message popped up on Scruff following a common, “Hello, How are you?”

Of all the things. My profile on Scruff calls myself “healthy, non-smoker” but doesn’t really plunge that much further into the “drug and disease free” issue. As I read the guy’s profile further, he said he was looking for a man who “didn’t think monogamy was a type of wood.”

Funny.

But this fortysomething asshole was alone for a reason. He hadn’t figured out some fundamental truths.

“You, sir, need an attitude adjustment,” I replied.

“Oh,” he replied. “You must be POZ.”

“I have too much to live for than to waste my life with someone who will kill me.”

What the fuck?

“First,” I replied. “I never said what my status happened to be.”

“Second, you need to get the facts about what’s killing Americans.”

I began to cite the statistics included below here. He messaged the word, “nut” before blocking me after the first couple.

Let me tell you some truths:

Causes of U.S. Deaths in 2009

Red Bullet HIV/AIDS: 17,000
Red Bullet Heart Disease: 599,000
Red Bullet Cancer: 468,000
Red Bullet Smoking: 430,000
Red Bullet Gunshots: 298,000
Red Bullet Stroke: 129,000
Red Bullet Alcohol/Drinking: 85,000
Red Bullet Alzheimer’s Disease: 79,000
Red Bullet Diabetes: 71,300
Red Bullet Flu and Pneumonia: 53,700
Red Bullet Drugs: 38,300
Red Bullet Suicide: 34,000
Red Bullet Vehicle Accidents: 33,800
Red Bullet Murder: 15,200

Even though 100 percent of all HIV/AIDS cases are not Gays, you could attribute all 17,000 are to Gay men and assign the 10 percent to the other diseases. It’s not until after gunshots and before stroke that there’s less deaths from HIV/AIDS.

No one has an uproar over processed foods or smoking. Just consider the facts.

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