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I’m on Scruff and 25-year-old cutie hits me up, basically begging me to fuck him.
It’s rare for that to happen. I’m two decades his senior. Of course, some young ones do chase older men. Usually this much enthusiasm can be attributed to men who recognize me as the writer of this blog. But several minutes into the conversation and nothing about my blog has come up.
After he’s hinting how much he wants his legs lifted into the air and he’s forwarded two photos of men fucking him — both using condoms. I finally cross into the territory of truth.
Even with the little “iBLASTinside” hint, the boy doesn’t connect the dots and, well, it’s a while before I point him to my blog.
He’s one of hundreds. The “safer” hoards who suddenly give up their convictions once they’re away from peer pressure.
Recently, the gay press reported something like half of all gay men reported they barebacked.
The half that said they didn’t? Most of them lied.
I’ll even bet you that if the scientists conducted the study lined up the men with who fucked whom, they’d discover portions of men who had a sexual encounter and a portion would say they barebacked while the other half would say they were “safe.”
This wall of deniability exists. I’ve even seen it (and written about it). It’s not something so bold as stealthing .
I’ve had bottoms ask if I have condoms. I say yes. He comes over and ignores the condom. He just rides my cock. I don’t ask if I can cum inside. I just do.
The AIDS and HIV education community have become just like religious conservatives are with sex education and their insistence that only one path exists: Abstinence. The right wing fails to face facts that teenagers will have sex and won’t promote birth control including the pill or condom use. Moreover, if a pregnancy happens to occur, one must carry that baby to term.
But the more progressive want to teach the straight youth of America how to minimize the risk of disease transmission and possible pregnancy.
Condom Nazis haven’t gone progressive at all. They see just one option. Use a condom. They can’t even fathom people refusing to wear the horrible plastic thing that deflates a hardon.
Look, let me make this perfectly clear.
No matter how many public service messages put out that say, “Safe sex is hot sex,” may work on the brain, but it’s not working on the cock.
People just don’t want to face the fact that barebacking is better than sex with a condom. As I compared it once, it’s like standard-definition versus high-definition television .
Men will fuck without condoms. Face it. Stop being judgmental. You can block the #BBBH hashtag on Twitter or defriend them on Facebook, thinking that it’s alienating them. But it’s not. Barebacking is a movement that’s growing.
Again, half of all gay men admit to doing it and that means there’s more who do it. Bareback porn is growing faster than anything else out there.
We have to face these facts. Now let’s find a way to stem the tide of disease transmission while still letting men bareback if they so choose.
This is like handing out clean needles to drug users. It’s controversial. I get that.
But I am not stopping my barebacking. And I am watching hundreds of thousands of men who won’t either.
I’ve got some suggestions for over-the-counter products that should be developed and provided as an option to those who choose to bareback.
Like a spermicidal lubricant, this would be a lube meant to be deadly to HIV and Herpes. If used as lube, it’s a means to help kill any free-floating viruses that come into contact with it. Of course, it’s got to be mild enough for the intestinal lining to handle it but strong enough to kill those little microscopic bugs.
Before and after the fuck, the bottom should douche with this mild concoction. Especially in combination with the lube, the more killing of any HIV or Herpes hanging around in the cum. I have a bottom friend who normally carries around an accordion squeeze bottle (like seen here to the right) that he uses after he’s bred to flush out the cum.
I know. There’s something romantic about the DNA staying inside the bottom. And I’ll admit that I like marking my territory.
But I’m coming up with a solution here and this is reasonable.
Transmission of HIV normally occurs through fissures in the lining of the intestinal walls.
This idea may reduce the sensation of the bottom so it could be bad idea, but like the latex paint people spread on the body or the invisible bandages, the bottom would put this into their ass to create a protective layer to help prevent any issues with the anal cavity.
Plan B refers to the “day after” pill for women who might have gotten pregnant the night before. Because of the controversy around abortion, many jurisdictions and politicians believe life begins at conception. Plan B provides for pregnancy prevention by inhibition of ovulation . In order to get Plan B, a doctor must prescribe it and, in certain jurisdictions, certain women require parental permission.
Likewise, it’s been found that taking antivirals following possible exposure to HIV will inhibit the transmission. Of course, one can go to one’s doctor and request a certain supply, which goes onto one’s insurance, which shows that the patient is participating in what insurance companies consider “high-risk behavior” and will potentially flag that patient from receiving insurance renewals and life insurance, among other benefits.
Creating an over-the-counter option, easily obtained from the pharmacist at a reasonable cost helps long-term and concerns.
I am not denying the POZ community at all and those find eroticism in HIV, just as those who find pregnant women sexy. Please.
But what has been obvious to me for far too long just keeps slipping through the mental grasp of those on the other side of this issue. I fear a backlash is coming of gay right-wing hatred, like a Tea Party within our own progressive ranks that would make for radicalization and fractures well beyond what we want to see.
This “no compromise” attitude that’s gridlocked the U.S. government concerns me. I’ve seen it in my own life as I approached GLBT legal groups with my firing for being gay only to be told that they were much too busy focusing on the marriage rights fight to worry about a man fired to being gay. It’s as if the gay rights movement worries more about eating wedding cake than putting food on the table.
I don’t want this to happen to sexual politics.
For those who wish to bareback but don’t wish to chase, here’s some options to protect themselves. It’s as simple as that.
Stealthing is the practice by which one party in a sexual encounter believes the other is being “safer” and using a condom correctly but, in fact, the condom has somehow been compromised or removed during the fuck and the cum is injected into the bottom’s ass. Either the top or bottom may be the deceptive party in a stealthing.
Many methods to sabotage the condom or trick the other party for removal are available in My Top 10 Stealthing Techniques are available here.
I’ve also written a lot about men I’ve stealthed and the deceptive things I’ve done to get ass. You can see all my entries on stealthing here.