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The Brotherhood of the Traveling Fucks

I’ve been traveling a lot. And it doesn’t look like it will let up anytime soon. And I’ve been fucking lucky.

Literally.

The ass in each city ends up being hot, hot, hot.

If I tried to write about every ass and each encounter, you’d all love it — I know. But I don’t have time. I’m just that busy.

Allow me to summarize some of the highlights.

Mid-Atlantic Tropical Hot Ass

I usually advertise my arrival in advance of my arrival. My ads usually announce that a top blogger is coming to town, looking for some bottom inspiration. I require some basic information from those who want to learn about the blog, since a vast majority of people just want the jerk off material.

I don’t mind. But I want to get a glimpse of who’s going to see it.

Occasionally, some people know who it is. Or they figure it out quickly. These are my fan fuck plans. Some people can be dedicated fans, who read up on me in great details. Others are just the guys who read me when it’s time to jerk off.

This young, very tan man hits me up and begins begging.

Now you have to understand. The younger the bottom, the less reliable. Young men in their twenties are notorious unreliable. I’ve made plans with hem in cities only to end up with a dry dick in hand.

This one really seemed genuine.

And not to bore you with details, he worked out well considering that this time, I ended up running late. He arrived after I finally got into my hotel room. Without hesitation, he worked into an embrace and kiss.

A good kiss.

His sucking worked at getting me hard. But when I finally got into his hairy ass, the fucking tight ass proved to be phenomenal.

Too phenomenal.

It’s been a while since I’ve bred someone three times in a row. But this little fucker kept me hard through all three. I never really slowed down. Of course, I’d been saving up a little. His exotic mixture of Latin and native tropics. A little hair on his chest and these juicy nipples.

His ass never truly loosened up.

If I ever slipped out, this bottom would let out an exasperated plea to put it back in.

I never went soft. His talent seemed unending to keep me hard. He’d read about where to touch me, how to keep me interested and what to do to arouse me.

He is someone who will be fucked again.

University City Slut

It’s summertime, so most of the college kids are at home, screwing around there and not at school. Just my luck I get to go to the midwest and a town that’s pretty much nothing but a university-supported town.

There’s a small contingency of college kids around — too many of them catfish (fakes who claim to want fucking). I’d just about given up.

I’d messaged a guy on BarebackRT.com before my arrival and, well, he pops back online. I invite him over and, 30 minutes later, this thirtysomething is sucking my cock on my hotel room bed.

We went into fuck mode and his neg hole is just begging me to squirt my load inside him a coat his insides fulls of my DNA.

I do.

All you have to do is beg. And this bottom does.

It’s after all the fucking, with us winded on such an intense session, that he admits to having known who I was, loving my blog and basically wanting to find out if he could really feel it “blast inside.”

(Yes, he could feel it.)

He’d gone to dinner with friends and ditched them between the restaurant and the club to swing by and get fucked by me. But we’d promised for a more extensive session next time.

My Boyfriend Doesn’t Know I’m a Slutty Bottom

Occasionally, one of those 20-year-old guys with an impossibly smooth body e-mails me. I figure the photo has been Photoshopped until there’s not a freckle, not a blemish and no stray hairs.

I’m in Texas and on BarebackRT.com when this little fucker e-mails me, volunteering to come take my load. I tell him the hotel. He asks the room. I give it. He says 15 minutes.

And in 17 minutes, there’s a knock at my door. A gorgeous boy walks in, lithe, tall, Latin and beautiful. His shirt is coming off as he steps into the room. He isn’t hesitating.

His chest is perfect. Just barely definition but no imperfections. Anywhere.

The lights are down low because I fucking hate the harsh lighting of hotels. He flips an end-table light on, its florescent yellow blinking into cold existence. But this boy’s skin is still perfect, reflecting the seamless skin with just a peach fuzz of hair that tingles as I run my fingers over it.

He’s naked now and grabbing for my pants.

He sucks me. I was already hard. He slobbers all over my cock. He thumbs his huge uncut cock a little as he comes up and kisses me with the perfect thick lips and then turns around and lines up my cock with his perfect little pucker.

And he pushes.

I’m inside him.

This insatiable boy just begins to ride. But I can’t be a passive top. I move him into a few positions and I pummel him.

He begs for my cum. He says he wants it bad. Please give it to him. I do. I load him up deep.

I lay in the glow afterward, letting my fingertips run over this perfect boy’s skin.

As we talk, it turns out I’m the fourth load in him tonight, although he’d cleaned out for me — I jokingly scold him for doing that. He assures me I’m the first of many loads as he leaves me for a few more.

His boyfriend is working tonight. He’s out for as many loads as possible. And he takes all loads. Doesn’t matter. Oh, he’s a little picky. Hard cocks only.

Never heard of my blog. Couldn’t care less. He just wanted my cum. He just wanted me to blast inside.

Straight Boy and Gay Bottom

In a southern city, I’ve chosen a ginger to fuck. He finally arrives. When he walks in, I recognize him immediately.

He’s straight. He’s a straight bottom. (Yes, they exist.)

He walks in and basically gets to sucking me. Nothing nice about it. He’s not very good, but it’s enough to harden me up. I step behind him and slick my cock up when he mentioned he has a condom.

I don’t protest. I put it on. At least, that’s what he sees. He lines it up with his hole, feeling the condom on it but after it goes in his hole, I pull it out and pull off the condom in a single motion and slide back inside. As soon as I’m in him bare I feel it.

His asshole is throbbing.

Damn inexperienced bottoms.

He’s shooting his load all over my bed.

Pisses me off a little, but I’ve been inside him raw and he didn’t notice. Or maybe he did and that’s why he shot off so quick.

He liked it raw.

He’s out the door and I’m on the prowl again. I don’t find another taker until the next day… this a gay guy who just had this terrific body. I didn’t see a face. I get a little concerned when I don’t see a face at all.

He walks in an angel, with these stunning eyes.

We get to the act quickly, although I wanted to take my time. And we fuck for longer than I intended because I want to give him the best I can.

He enjoys it.

We finally kiss as he leaves a load lighter and a load heavier.

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Q&A: I want to bottom but it just hurts too much. Is there any way I can make it happen?

Q&A: I want to bottom but it just hurts too much. Is there any way I can make it happen?

QuestionI’m pretty new to getting fucked. I was only fucked once successfully by a guy I was blowing for like a half an hour, slowly edging him. I was really drunk, so I was relaxed I guess. He was like 7 inches and pretty thin cock. When he went behind me i didn’t even really think he was gonna fuck me and it didn’t hurt bad going in. I did feel it when he was pounding me though. He used lube.

Since then I’ve had three guys try it: Two with no lube and today, a guy had lube (but I’m not sure he used enough). They were all smaller than the first guy. All of them it hurt so bad when they were putting it in, I just ended up blowing them.

Hurting-Bottoms-AssSo yes… I’m a bad bottom right now, but I don’t want to be. I loved the feeling of the one man dominating my asshole and kind of feeling like he was up there for a few days after.

I identify as a bottom, because I am a submissive and want to please the man with the cock.

Is there anything i can do to kind of soften the blow of the first thrust in? It seems to be I hear that after I do it a few times that it will be easier. I really don’t want to do poppers or anything. I was thinking maybe if I got a dildo it would stretch out some.

I see a lot of people saying go slow at first, which makes sense. But it seems to me maybe I should have them do the first push in — like a few inches — to get past my sphincters. Then hold it there until I adjusted so it would just be one moment of intense pain. Then i could deal with the fucking pain, which seemed okay.

I know it’s my fault for either being too nervous and not accepting it or not being prepared.

Also, I’m not really sure what a portable douche is. I want to be as clean as possible. Is there some kind of thing you just fill up with water and squirt it up your butt? And how long before you fuck do you do it?

I hope your answer isn’t suck it up and just take it, but that might be the only one. It just really really hurts.

I want to be a good bottom and to please my guys when they want me to turn around.

I figured you had experience with this so i would ask you. I know it’s a lot of questions. Thank you for your time.

A Bottom in Pain

 

AnswerDear Bottom in Pain,

Suck it up.

That is the easy answer, but it’s not the right answer for you — obviously. I don’t like seeing bottoms going unbred, especially when they’re begging for it. Let’s step through a few options.

bullet I’m not sure why you’re refusing the assistance of poppers Opens new window of a page on this blog. I hear this sometimes with people and it baffles me. Poppers can be legally obtained pretty much everywhere and their effects are rather temporary. You will find that the most intense sensations occur within 30 seconds of snorting them and by five minutes later, no residual effects will remain. Perhaps you are one of the small percentage of people with low blood pressure, which makes using poppers dangerous because you might pass out. 

bullet Prior to having sex (by at least 30 minutes), please take pain medication. If it’s ibuprofen or acetaminophen (I believe four of each, which is double the recommended amount, makes for “prescription strength) is a good option. If you happen to have prescription pain medication or muscle relaxers, consider those as well.  You should consider this also if poppers Opens new window of a page on this blog cause you headaches instead of avoiding poppers all together (and better quality poppers won’t cause headaches usually).

bullet Buy a dildo or vibrator of normal size and work your ass every night. I don’t mean every other night or when you’re horny. I mean every, single night. With this exercise, I recommend you do some deep breathing (in through the nose, out through the mouth) and relaxation techniques (just search YouTube for “5-minute relaxation” if you need help). When the speaker talks about relaxing the body, you focus on your asshole and relax it. Accept the dildo. Use the poppers a couple of times. Just close your eyes and make it happen. It won’t be easy at first, but eventually — probably by the third week — you will be able to take the dildo in your ass during the five minute exercise.

bullet Once you can take the dildo in five minutes (all the way in), begin fucking yourself with it. Explore your insides. Find the spots that feel good and the ones that don’t. Yes, at first, you feel like you need to shit. That’s normal. But you will get past that. For the next month, you just need to explore.

anal-bulb-douchebullet Now these two months could be a little messy unless you douche (we’ll talk portable douche in a moment). I recommend the anal bulb douche as your first option (you can see it to the right). The most prevalent thing to notice about this is its very thin spout. You want one like this to clean your ass. In the shower and prior to play, do a few squirts into your ass, hold and then release. If you can get two or three bulbs full into your ass before release, even better. This is also teaching your ass muscle control. By the way, use a sensitive, hypoallergenic liquid soap as lubricant and make sure the water isn’t too hot that you squirt inside.

bullet Throughout this process, you should be paying attention to your body and noticing your body’s schedule. When do you normally take a shit? You need to notice when you eat and how long it takes to process that meal. A good bottom knows his body and its normal rhythms. I know bottoms who will stick to protein shakes or juice a couple of days prior to big gang bangs to avoid passing solids. Learning how your body processes and passes wastes is important to being clean and providing a top the optimum experience. For me, if I get shitdick Open-New-Window-External, the bottom is licking it clean.

bullet When you are with a top, begin with one who will let you sit on his cock first. I personally love this position to begin with anyway. It warms me up after good sucking. Using lube is important but not vital. It’s more about the bottom relaxing and opening up. Sounds like to me you’ve got a case of stage-fright. If you’re in control — which is the top position, where you sit on the cock — you control the pace. And here’s where you have some fun. If it hurts, ease off it. Tell the top he’s got a nice big cock. Let your ass relax a bit. Then ease back onto it. The second time in won’t be as bad. And you might even need to come off again before burying the bone.

bullet Once you adjust to the sensation, switch to a position where the top has more control. If it gets to hurting, start begging the top to cum. Hurting too much, switch off and suck a little. Change position. Don’t say it’s hurting too much. And never let it end in a blowjob. Just give your ass a rest but remember your relaxation techniques to allow you to take his cock.

bullet Eventually, you’re going to want to get a permanent shower shot douche for your home. This is an attachment for your shower. Every good bottom has one and swears by it. Knowing your body’s rhythm and cleaning out daily is not unusual for every bottom. I know bottoms who can be ready is less than five minutes, no matter where they happen to be located.

Squeeze-Bottle-Accordianbullet As for a portable douche, nothing really handy exists, but my favorite improvised device is one I saw a bottom carry with him. Technically, you can find it in the cake decorating section of your grocery store (or you might need to go to a more crafty kind of place). The squeeze bottle accordion can be compressed into a smaller format for carrying so it’s about an inch tall. At your destination, you can use water from the sink to squirt into your ass. As a suggestion, leave the water running when expelling from your ass so your top doesn’t hear that. He doesn’t want to think you were just dirty.

bullet Might I also suggest carrying one of these is good for any bottom who wishes to get the cum out of his ass as soon as possible. Look, I prefer a bottom keep my DNA inside him. But bottoms like to lie. I know that. Using this, one can rinse out an ass if there’s some level of fear of a possible disease transmission. Leaving the cum and other juices inside just causes it to fester. There’s debate whether a spermicide will kill HIV or cause it to thrive. I’d err on the side of killing it since you’re rinsing it out. Again, leave the water running or, better yet, take a shower after the fun.

I hope this answers all your questions.

Yours in DNA,
Mark 
aka iBLASTinside

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Do you have a question you’d like Mark Bentson (aka iBLASTinside) to answer? Send a message to iBLASTinside@gmail.com mailbox_full or hit him up on his contact page Opens new window of a page on this blog.

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Gay Strip Poker with iBLASTinside’s Twist

Gay Strip Poker with iBLASTinside’s Twist

jackStrip poker can be fun, but the adventure of the game is more the journey than the destination. But with all strip poker games, once everyone is naked, what happens next?

I created a series of rules to make strip poker both more fair and a lot more fun. The rules break the ice in the game before everything degrades down into full-fledged sexual decadence.

You can choose to play whatever version of the game. I like Texas Hold ‘Em, but the standard Five Card Draw is fine.

Rules follow like this.

Number One All players are required to wear the same article of clothing. Generally I’d suggest eight, comprised of the following:

bullett Two shoes (counts as two items)
bullett Two socks (counts as two items)
bullett Underwear, either boxers, briefs, jockstrap, etc. (counts as one item)
bullett One pair of jeans, pants or shorts (counts as one item)
bullett One shirt or top (counts as one item)

Bareback Stealthing Tip Number 2 kingTo make the game last a little longer, you can add up additional items, up to four more) including the following:

bullett Undershirt (counts as one item)
bullett Belt (counts as one item)
bullett Overcoat or jacket (counts as one item)
bullett Hat (counts as one item)

Number Three There are no ante bets, but everyone must bet at least one item of clothing. That said, the minimum bet is one item of clothing is one item of clothing and the maximum is two items. So once someone raises things to two items, things are maxed out and it can’t go higher that round. As betting occurs, no one removes any clothing. The clothing is removed at loss.

Number Four After participants are naked, betting becomes interesting. There’s two bowls or hats on the table with folded up pieces of paper inside. One is “single dares” and the other are “double dares.”  I’ve included my set of these single and double dares here Open-New-Window-External in an Adobe Acrobat document. First, print them out and cut them apart. The ones with yellow backgrounds go into the double dares bowl. The plain white in the single dares.

Number Five AceBetting is relatively simple. The lowest bet is one single dare. The highest bet is two double dares. Again, there’s no ante. Therefore….

bullett One always begins with a single dare bet.
bullett A single dare bet can be raised to two single dares, a single dare and a double dare or two double dares. No more than two dares of each type can be play at any time.
bullett Two single dares can be raise to a single and a double dare or two double dares. A single and a double dare can only be raised to two doubles.

Number Six Once won, the losers must pull out the bet results from the appropriate bowls and follow the commands, which are sexual in nature. Single bets involve touching, hugging and a little kissing — generally embarrassing stuff. Plus there’s some revealing stuff. Double dares get more racy with mouth to genital action. No fucking occurs because that’s reserved for after the game.

Number Seve At some point, the game just ends and fucking begins. Let it happen naturally. Plan for it with good music and turn the lights down a bit lower. If beer has been flowing during the night, it shouldn’t be much of a concern. The good news about these parties is everyone is about equal opportunity and wants to see everyone cum.

return Back to How to Host a Gay Orgy

 

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Ramses or TheBestHands or TheBestHandsGa

TheBestHands Works Out the Knots

Ramses

Available on MasseurFinder.com as TheBestHandsGa Open-New-Window-External and TheBestHands Open-New-Window-External
Email Ramses at MassagesByRamses@gmail.com mail
Also advertises on Craigslist.org in Therapeutic Services Open-New-Window-External

ramses-chest Highlights

bullet 32 year old, Latino, smooth, toned, 5-foot 8-inch, black hair, light goatee, non-smoker
bullet Massages in his briefs
bullet Deep tissue & Swedish combination with hot stones, cranial sacral & trigger point elements
bullet Massages on a table in a clean, serene space dedicated to massage
bullet 60 minutes for $80 or 90 minutes for $120 (in call) every day but Sunday
bullet Located in northwestern Atlanta/Buckhead between I-85 and Highway 400 near Lenox inside a gated apartment community
bullet Ramses has roommates but good privacy
bullet Happy endings as a hand-job

four-out-of-five-stars rating

Sometimes it’s about the massage.

In the past, I’ve just been lucky in my distant past to have massage therapists who give great massage and happy endings Opens new window of a page on this blog, but it’s been a while since that happened. Since then, I’ve been on a search for the perfect combination.

I’ll admit. For a while, I settled on a straight therapist who gave great massage but never touched my dick. My happy ending happened to be when he cradled my head in his broad hands and did something with his finger tips to seemingly cause tingles down my spine then he’d balance my Chakras. Now I’m not much of one for such bullshit, but I’ll admit I actually felt something and I felt better.

ramses-IIWhen I saw Ramses ad, I felt a little tingle too, but not in the same places as the straight guy.

I always like the exotics, that’s no secret. Ramses didn’t seem stuck-up, like a lot of the other guys. His rates were reasonable and he answered all my questions, assuring he was indeed trained in massage.

His massage space was well-lit and warm with one of those running water meditation things. Ramses was shy, or so it seemed. He didn’t try to engage in conversation at all other than asking me if I had any issues.

He stripped down to briefs. But his large nipples and naturally smooth, taught body proved to be a joy to watch (at least when I was face up).

The room was warm, linens clean and smelled fresh without some overpowering scent.

His hands weren’t large but I’ve got to tell you, those fingers found their way into some deep knots. His deep tissue techniques were truly deep to the point of getting a little painful. But when he really reached into some painful moments with his fingers and elbow, he would let his other hand venture to my butt cheeks and down toward my taint.

Pain and pleasure.

That mixture truly worked and reminded me to take deep breaths through it.

As our time progressed, he progressively got more sensual. Unfortunately, my hand would brush against him as well and I could sense this was something he did not like (which I later confirmed). Although he would tolerate mutual touch, his preference was to work on his client.

No problem, of course except that he had one of those bodies one might want to touch.

He did venture into my crack but his fingers barely touched my bunghole, even as I’d told him that I showered prior to my arrival. This seems to be a trend among most massage therapists. Unless he advertises prostate massage, he’ll stay away from the asshole. I don’t get why just touching it is so verboten.

When I flipped over, Ramses provided some terrific cranial sacral therapy beginning with just a touch of aromatherapy to open up my sinuses (which can get clogged when you’re face-down for an hour). He also integrated a little trigger point into this and I found that I started to relax nicely.

He worked on my arms and legs more before heading toward my cock to get intensely sensual. I did ask him to take off his shorts at this point. He hesitated but obliged so I got a wonderful view of his ass. He clenched his ass so my fingertips never accidentally ventured too deep. His uncut cock never really inflated any, showing me just how uninterested he happened to be in me and why he seemed to pull away.

Nothing close to oral ever happened and despite my assurance that my nipples provided absolutely no stimulation, his non-jacking hand seemed to work on my upper body. I’d informed Ramses that my erotic spots were all around my nutsack but maybe the language barrier prevented him from getting my concept.

Nonetheless, after 90 minutes of relaxation, touching and attention by a man with a gorgeous body and his expert manipulation of my cock, I found myself on the edge without any poppers.

When I cum, I begin shooting copious amounts early before I actually experience the orgasm. My cockhead swells and a lot of white spunk begins to spill out. He suddenly wants to stop. I encourage him on. He barely jerks me though it before he’s out the door, headed to bathroom to clean his hands.

Um…. you can’t get anything from jerking a guy off.

The boy was afraid of cum.

Forget about fucking him (or him fucking you, although he’s definitely a bottom).

And I was a little disappointed by the ending. But as I considered the whole experience, I realized just how competent Ramses happened to be. Impressively so. His massage truly provides “relief” from life’s stresses. His handjob work got me off sans poppers and I enjoyed it. If he relaxed a little and didn’t fear the sperm, it would be perfect.

Who am I kidding? It would be perfect if he sat on my cock.

ramses-ad

The Catfish Phenomenon

The Catfish Phenomenon

Manti Te'o ShirtlessPoor football player. A big athlete falls in love with a “girl” and gets fooled into a three-year “relationship” over the internet and phone, then we all discover it’s fake. The humiliation of this isn’t enough, but to find out later the jock’s been fooled by a male “Christian singer who tried out for ‘The Voice.'”

Shocking?

Fuck no.

It just finally happened prominently, in the public eye. And Manti Te’o, the Notre Dame football player eventually to turn pro and hoping to save his career, got forced to admit his ignorance publicly.

He’s just a dumb jock.

I’ve had catfish galore. You would think I have a catfish farm and raise them.

Here’s a pic of the most recent attempt to dupe me. When I told the little fucker that no, his picture was all over the Internet and that it first appeared on a particular website, this was the porn name it appeared under, etc., the guy admitted the truth.

That’s not always the case.

My Most Recent Catfish Attempt

Catfish are, for the most part, dedicated to their craft. The most recent one that really caught my attention supposedly lived in Washington, D.C., with a Pennsylvania phone number. He served as a hooker, allowing older men to pound his ass mercilessly or some would pay simply to beat the shit out of him — according to the stories he would tell.

He was introduced to the world of escorting by, none other than his father, who taught him to take cock around 9 years old. Now at 19, he was a cumslut. Men would come over and pay upward of $200 each to dump a load in his smooth ass.

Problem is, three years ago, according to his Twitter account, he was 19 then also. Of course, his explanation to me was at that time he was lying. Now he was telling me the truth.

I’d figured out early on he lied a lot, but I carried on the “relationship” much longer than I wanted or even could tolerate simply to see how dedicated he would be to his character. He was unrelenting. Excuses for every inconsistency of his story and, when I asked for explanation, he would turn around to attack me for not trusting him.

So very clever.

I successfully got three photos out of him over about a month, but I could never get him to produce a candid photo in a pose I requested. That, to me, is the tell-tell sign of someone almost real. Of course, one of the original catfish I dealt with was a female Wal-Mart manager who had a minor male employee pose for her photos. She would have him call to leave voice mails as well. But I never spoke to him live.

How do you determine a catfish?

  1. Surprise phone calls. Calls should be answered at all times. If you’re in a “relationship” then a 3 a.m. emergency call shouldn’t be a big deal once in a while. If your calls seem to go to voice mails whenever you call, then you’ve got an issue.
  2. Special requests. Send them a t-shirt or red shorts or something like that in the mail. The day they get it, ask them to wear it, take a photo of themselves doing some sort of pose. Expect the photo within 5 minutes. Excuses like, “I’m at work right now,” or, “I work for the government, they don’t allow me to do that,” or, “I’m on my work phone, I can’t do that,” or, “My cell phone camera is broken, I need to do it at home,” is a sure sign that something is wrong! (Think about it, you sent the gift to their home; they received it at home; why are they suddenly at work?)
  3. Google. Google names, numbers, address and photos. Keep in mind you do need to pay for anything (there will be offers that pop up). Generally, you can glean enough information to find out whether a phone number is a cellular provider or whether it’s a virtual number that’s forwarding to a cell (using Skype or Google Voice). Be smart about phone numbers and locations. Talk about the weather. My guy in D.C. did keep up with the weather in Washington, even though his number was in Pennsylvania. If there’s a delay about what the weather happens to be, you know it’s the case. When searching the name, which many are common, check to determine whether someone has all the common accounts, not just the ones with whom you connect. Sure, creating a fake Facebook is one thing. Is he on LinkedIn? Unless he’s a hooker, you should find a LinkedIn account. And had Manti Te’o searched his “girlfriend’s” photo, he would have found she wasn’t real.
  4. Use logic and track the stories. On detective shows, you’ll often see the big bulletin boards with people’s photos and strings. You must create a virtual one of your own. Who’s his father and mother? What’s their names? Where do they live? Google. Brothers and sisters? Names? Google. College? Google. Old friends. Nowadays, we all leave a trace. For my D.C. catfish, he’d not been out at local bars for about a year. He made the mistake of being friends with a bouncer at a local gay bar — one that had closed recently. When I asked about the crowd, the bouncer, with whom I was supposedly texting while the hooker got fucked in another room, answered like he’d been working. Told me about his bosses. Stupid stuff. Yet I knew the club was closed and had been. Of course, the catfish denied the whole thing and said I was speaking with someone else who lied to me. Both entities just had a tendency to misspell the same words.
  5. Surprise visits. Nothing else shocks the shit out of a catfish like a live visit Opens a new window from this blog. Just telling one you’re coming to visit and that you’ve booked a trip will get the response you need to know. If the suspected catfish is prepared to meet, then maybe it’s for real. But likely, they’re “not ready” for that face-to-face encounter, even just for lunch. Hang the fuck up and move on.

Catfish are people too

Manti Te'o Hoaxer Ronaiah Tuiasosopo ShirtlessI get dozens of e-mails and IMs and text messages from people who want to meet me. I am so very flattered. But far too many never truly want to meet. We call them flakes, of course. We all know them for how they really treat us because, legitimately, they’re not willing to meet.

I cannot begin to shrink them. Too many people have tried to shrink me, to diagnose my own dysfunctions. However, within this world, something is missing that current relationships just cannot seem to meet so they need to create a persona to find a way to fulfill that need.

With Ronaiah Tuiasosopo, the catfish for Manti Te’o, he’s attempting a career in the Christian singing world and he’s a former football player. My guess — and I am speaking with no special knowledge — is he can’t find a way to reconcile his homosexuality with his Christianity yet. By creating a female, it worked. As angry as people are at Ronaiah Tuiasosopo, I hope he figures out he’s gay and finds a big, butch man to fuck him the way he needs it.

Catfish will thrive

[alert style=”white”] They used to tank cod from Alaska all the way to China. They’d keep them in vats in the ship. By the time the codfish reached China, the flesh was mush and tasteless. So this guy came up with the idea that if you put these cods in these big vats, put some catfish in with them and the catfish will keep the cod agile. And there are those people who are catfish in life. And they keep you on your toes. They keep you guessing, they keep you thinking, they keep you fresh. And I thank god for the catfish because we would be droll, boring and dull if we didn’t have somebody nipping at our fin.
—”Catfish,” 2010[/alert]

Catfish are here to keep us on our toes, or that’s what the documentary that originated the pop culture term suggests. I’m not so convinced. But in today’s impersonal, digital world, it seems to me we all need those connections that cannot be achieved in person for fear of reprisals.

How do you deal with catfish when you discover one? A true catfish can never be trusted. Never. You can’t. And generally, I’ve found the catfish never breaks character. They’re bound to their character. When I discovered one catfish and their real life, I contacted many people from real life including significant other, friends, relatives and more. A catfish is convincing in their real life too and stays dedicated to that character. Each did not believe the strange story I told.

But eventually, they would see it was true. I hope that catfish found a way to get some help and to stop living in fantasy land.

Like everyone else, I crave realness. I think if you bareback, that may be another reason why we do so. We don’t want to keep the distance between two human beings, even if it’s two-millimeters thick in plastic. We want that connection. For barebackers, we put it all out there, exposed. For catfish, they don’t. It’s all murky.

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