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Darkroom Etiquette

Darkroom Etiquette

To help those who have never experienced a darkroom sexual experience or those who need a bit of a refresher course, this is the guide for you.

What is a darkroom?

A darkroom is where no one can see. No one. Everyone is essentially blind because it’s so incredibly dark.

Why a darkroom?

In a darkroom, without the use of your eyes, you get the opportunity to allow your other senses run wild.

There’s a saying that people who are blind compensate with their other senses. Whether that’s true or not, within the darkroom experience, one cannot rely on your eyes.

This gives you the opportunity to let your fantasies, those things you can invent in your mind, to actually happen.

Who fucking cares if it’s real? Do you want a date or do you want to fuck?

If he feels like a 20-year-old, then believe he is a 20-year-old.

If the cock seems like it’s 10 inches long, then it’s 10 inches.

If he’s a muscle god who smells like a man, lick his fucking pits and enjoy.

A darkroom doesn’t get in the way of everything else, any potential turnoffs (like that ingrown toenail or jacked-up orthodontics) disappear. In the darkness, you’re fucking Dawson with his 20th load or getting bred by Brad McGuire (or whatever legendary top or fantasy top you can imagine).

How a Darkroom Works

The general effort is to make the room as pitch black as possible so that no one can see a darn thing. Of course, a little light will always filter in one way or another. And as your eyes adjust, you can usually make out shapes.

Still, the overall goal is to keep it dark.

That means, no matter how strong the impulse, do not pull out your cell phone and shine its light. It ruins the mood, destroys the fantasy and basically blows out everyone’s pupils, which have to readjust to the darkness.

There are three basic ways of entering a darkroom:

  1. Boldly walk in, not caring what you bump into.
  2. Sneak in along the wall.
  3. Hang around the entrance watching who enters then follow someone you like inside.

I’m generally someone who takes the stealth approach, feeling my way at first along the wall. This gives me a moment to listen and determine if there’s much action going on inside.

Bumping into someone will happen. It’s a fucking darkroom, so get over it.Take this opportunity to check them out. First with a light touch. Then, if they don’t push you away, keep exploring. Are their pants off? Is their dick out? Is their ass prelubed (or leaking cum)? Are they completely naked? Or does he feel like a wrinkled mess?

If he feels you back, he’s interested. If he’s not stopping you, he’s looking for some service.

It’s relatively a common sense situation, although I’ve experienced my share of trolls who cannot take a hint, requiring me to bail out of a darkroom. Generally, men cum about every 5 minutes, so if you leave the darkroom and return in 10, you’ll be in with another group.

To convey my intent, I immediately move my hand to someone’s ass and head to the asshole. If he’s got his pants on, I see if I can slip my hand down inside them. If he bats my hand away, I move on.

I also go for the most common erogenous zones, like the nipples. A little tweak will often open up someone to the option of a fuck.

Courtesy and Tips

Here’s what I suggest to make your experience the best:

  • If you are receiving unwanted attention from a troll, push his hand away — at first gently and then with force. If that doesn’t work, step out of the room (unless you’re in mid-fuck).
  • In mid-fuck, you are free to explore. Let the hands run over your body and don’t get all pissy thinking you should be left alone. If you wanted to fuck alone, you should have gone into a booth or room.
  • Moans, groans, grunts and any basic animalistic sounds are welcome. Otherwise, do not talk.
  • Turn off your cell phone ring and, for God’s sake, don’t fucking answer the phone if it does ring (yes, I’ve experienced it; some asshole actually got a call, answered it in the darkroom and proceeded to have a conversation; cleared the room out in seconds).
  • You will be touched and explored by strangers you cannot see. If this is an issue for you, do not enter a darkroom.
  • Bottoms, it’s quite preferred you be cleaned out and prelubed before going into a darkroom. Keep any lube on hand.
  • If you expect to be “safe” in a darkroom, go with someone who can spot you. One of the easiest places to stealth is in a darkroom, especially when things get busy. You can never really tell which cock is entering you. In fact, I’d suggest the condom Nazis to stay out of the darkrooms.
  • If someone pushes your hand away, consider it a polite way of saying “no thank you” and move on. Don’t be a troll.
  • If you’re not feeling the vibe, step out of the room for 10 minutes and return later. Generally, darkrooms turnover with new action every 5 or 10 minutes.
  • Sometimes you’re lucky to get a service-oriented bottom in the room, who will be naked or pants-down/ass up and allowing all cocks and loads. Be nice, don’t push, and take your turn. Don’t take forever to cum. Pump your load into him.

Hopefully this will all help make your darkroom experiences better. Please add your own darkroom tips below.

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Soft Cock Syndrome

Don’t Claim to be Another Top If You Can’t Get Your Cock Hard

Of late, I’ve been fucking this adorable little Latin Link Opens in a New Window with an ass worth mucho grande. He’s been fantasizing about a double penetration. He’s fucking tight, but I don’t mind indulging his need for more cock, especially if it means I’ll load his hole when there’s another load inside him.

The other day, we’re both searching for a second top and he happens upon someone claiming to be a top, who he invites over as well. Once I saw the BarebackRT Link Opens in a New Window profile, I’ll admit I was skeptical. I generally get a vibe off of people and did not read true, pointed north top. Alas, too late as the invitation was extended.

I arrived. The other “top” was sprawled on the bed in a jockstrap getting blown, in the first of what would be three cockrings he would try.

Cockrings aren’t a bad thing. I’ve never had a need for them, although on occasion they’re sort of fun to add on as a kind of fashion accessory to push my balls forward so the bottom gets a hint to lick my balls more. But they also cover a couple of my sensitive erogenous zones where a light tongue touch and cause me to lose the ability to speak and floods my urethra with precum.

My pocket Latin sucks my cock for about 15 to 20 seconds and I’m completely hard. He shows it off to the other “top” then proceeds to climb on board.

Over the next half an hour, my bottom friend sucks, jacks, tickles, kisses and tries everything he can to get the other “top” hard.  Our entire session revolves around making him comfortable and getting him up. He switches cockrings twice more and to no avail. He gets half-hard once with no potential to even slide into the bottom’s ass, even after I’ve opened it up.

The “top” finally declares that his cock has been “worn out” by the bottom and he needs to go.

As he’s putting on his clothes, the “top” then confesses that he’d much rather sit on my cock than anything else. Now if he’d admitted this 25 minutes ago, I might have fucked them both. But he didn’t. Then he finally says, “I’m truly versatile. Nowadays, I think I’m leaning bottom.”

No shit, Sherlock.

I doubt this dude had an impotence issue. He simply couldn’t admit he climbed over the fence and now lived on the bottom side of things. It happens. But fucking hell, if you don’t think you can perform, don’t volunteer, especially when another top is counting on you.

My time was wasted.

The dude left, I bred the boy after we fucked in earnest without any distractions.

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