Tag Archives: childhood

Dark Passengers Series

Dark Passenger: How Should I Feel?

Tonight I sit with a weird feeling creeping up my spine. I find myself reduced back to a boy, curled up in guilt and a little confused.

Long-time readers will know my story but I imagine most won’t, so I should set the stage with my original Dark Passenger. The man who launched the twisted fuck I would become. In a very real and unusually strange sense, that man indeed is the genesis of a myself, out and very comfortable and confident in my skin. While I would like to think I’d eventually maneuvered my way out of the closet, I doubt seriously if I’d ever become as tolerant of others or even admitted to myself or other what a barebacking sleaze I can be.

As a youth, I was molested by this man. Most of the entries regarding him and what he did can be found here, if you choose to read:

If you choose not, it’s fine. Know that from some point until around 18, I had sexual encounters with this man — a neighbor and trusted friend of my parents.

So the reason for my odd sensation is the call today to notify me that my molester is in hospice.

The call to me is not unusual, I guess, since he and his wife were friends of my parents and, now that both my parents are dead, the community feels as if someone in my family should be notified and, technically, I am the head of the family. The local community is not aware what this sleaze did to me or countless others.

I spoke on the phone in an even tone, thanking the person for the notification. It wasn’t a time to be emotional. But now that I sit alone with the thought of him dying, I feel something. Perhaps it is the last of my own childhood finally passing away with the man who stole it from me, since so much left me when my parents left in the last few years. Perhaps it’s a kind of happiness or vengeance, knowing the fucker is finally suffering and will befall his own fate he promised me — that one-way ticket to hell. Or maybe it’s my own fear that I might be closer to death as well.

Or is it the fear that I might become the molester like him. The other day, a 14-year-old on Twitter solicited me. Now he had been posing as a 23-year-old. And when he admitted to being 14, I blocked him. And as I wrote, I volunteered at times for my own molestation. I wonder if the world were wired when I was 14 what I might have done.

So I sit, quietly contemplating a big-dicked old man as he teeters at the edge of the abyss. And I wonder why I give a shit and I wonder why I even care.

 

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About Me

About Me

Everything you wanted to know and may want to know but didn’t ask

Born out of wedlock, adopted into a Christian home, somehow I turned out okay, finding my way in the world after growing up a goody two-shoes. Some of that goodness remains. I don’t jaywalk and I’ve never, ever done an illegal substance. Yet, I’ve attempted to violate sodomy laws in every Bible Belt state and beyond.

If you’re easily offended or confused, I don’t recommend approaching me. I’m not safe for work (NSFW) and usually offensive to almost everyone who’s ever met me. My sense of humor is biting, sarcastic, dry and can be harmful if swallowed (unless you’re talking about my cum which can be swallowed but I prefer injecting elsewhere).

For all the basics of your interest, here we go.

Mark in rubberMy age (in the traditional year measurement) is 45.

My Zodiac sign (in case you care about that shit) is Taurus (and I promise I’m bullishly stubborn as hell).

It’s not much better if you’re into the Chinese Zodiac cause it makes me a Ram and God knows I like to ram Opens a new window from this blog.

Born in Georgia and all my formative childhood and very early adulthood years spent here but I’ve also lived in FloridaWashington, D.C.Virginia and Maryland. Currently, I live in the far northern suburbs outside Atlanta Opens a new window from this blog.

My educational experience includes Bachelor’s and Master’s degrees. Details of these forays into academia fail to properly convey the education and experience gained beyond the influence of most professors. That said, intelligence might be among the greatest aphrodisiacs for me.

For the puerile among the readers who probably skipped over that word to get to the so-called “good stuff” …

  • 45 years old
  • Light brown hair
  • Speckled green eyes behind nerd glasses
  • Light beard
  • 6 foot, 2½ inches tall
  • 230 pounds
  • Moderately hairy (more legs and ass than chest; no back hair)
  • 7 inches cut, rock hard and big juicy loads
  • Top (95 percent of the time)
  • Barebacker (99.95 percent of the time)
  • Geekish good looks
  • Size 12 shoes
  • Extra large gloves

Adorkable, nerdastic, geekalicious, we all must face our destinies. I am a geek. I am a nerd. I know that, upon seeing me, most assume I’m the smartest guy in the room who can likely operate the audio-visual equipment or fix your computer. Under most circumstances, that assumption holds true.

Popping out a load

However, just beneath the façade of the geek holds a creative genius, a devious plotter and a mischievous thinker who maneuvers through and will mindfuck and stealth-fuck Opens a new window from this blog.

Introvert Opens a new window from this blog might best describe me, as you will rarely find me in crowds. Shyness isn’t a problem. I speak with authority and I own my feelings. Someone once told me I had a “quiet dominance” that makes me a force. But since I don’t conform to the normal ideal of what people think of dominant, because I’m not a muscle daddy in leather, I don’t scream or order through gritted teeth.

So consider the alternative. Everyone else. Or me. Different. Unique. Unusual.

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