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Q&A: The Truth About “Safe” Fuckers and Forbidden Pleasures of Bare

Q&A: The Truth About “Safe” Fuckers and Forbidden Pleasures of Bare

A note from Mark: I received this as a comment from a reader. I thought it deserved to be an entire post as I addressed it.

 

letter-qI am an exclusive bottom guy who loves bareback sex and loves cum. I tend to be upfront about it and what I want.

What I find from the tops (who want it “safe”) is essentially the same as the bottoms who want it “safe.” They never have condoms but insist on using them. Interesting when I start by proposing to use condoms, responses to my posts seeking a top is ridiculously high.

Then they never want to use condoms when we actually fuck.

On the converse, when I specifically advertise for BB only, I get far fewer responses. So what the fuck?

Do the tops who want stealth really just looking to get off on deceiving someone? I can play that game if that is what works for you guys. You seem to be turned off by the direct “I want your bare cock and cum in my ass.” But yet if I pretend I want a condom on your cock, then I can suddenly get all the bare cock I want. any thoughts?

 

letter-aThe answer is more simple than it seems.

“I’ve never done this before.”

“I’m a virgin”

“Just this one time.”

“Just put in the tip.”

Tops prefer bareback and I’d propose three out of four men fuck without condoms. Truth is, even when I get hit up, someone will say “safe only” to me only to learn I’ll only bareback. At some point, the horny bottom will decide he wants it too much and will ask me not to cum in his ass.

In the end, he’ll go home with a load in his ass.

The tops want the appearance that they’re fucking a virginal asshole without the risk of any sexually transmitted infections. You see, the condom Nazi lobby generated this impression that all that is bareback means it’s disease.

If you’re a bare-loving top who hasn’t faced the facts about the risks you’re taking, you think if you get a condom-preferred bottom who lets you in his ass raw will reduce your chance of getting something “bad.”

Of course, nothing could be further from the truth.

Barebackers tend to be in tune with their bodies. They know their statuses with any such stuff.

Other than chasers and gift-givers, true barebackers are among the safest to fuck. But many would much rather pretend.

It’s got nothing to do with stealthing. It has everything to do with deceiving oneself.

So post your ads for both raw and wrapped. Or don’t specify. And then given the choice, most will choose raw. If not, that’s when the stealthing fuck begins.

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Stealthing, Stealth, Stealth Fucking

Q&A: Just Pozzed Out and My Viral Load Is High. Should I Continue to Stealth?

Occasionally, I get e-mails from my readers asking questions. With permission, I answer them here.

 

QuestionI love your blog and your stories. I’m a versatile and sometimes get fucked and sometimes do the fucking. I since I’ve hit 30, I just really couldn’t stand using the condoms any more. But some guys insisted.

Then I found your blog. And read all about the whole stealth thing.

I get your point. You wrote about it as a warning to guys but you know, a lot of people are dumb and all. I had to get the cum in my ass and I needed to breed too. I made lots of condoms with pinprick holes. I always had condoms on me. Fuck, I even had friends ask me and I gave them away. I’ve left them around sleazy gay bars.

I finally got a poz test, which doesn’t bother me at all. Barebacking is a hotter experience now. Now I really think I’m breeding a guy and it’s taking hold.

My viral load is high. Man, I’m toxic, with millions swimming in me. I’m trying to decide if I want to go on meds or just continue to fuck my way through the world for a while.

But I’m having second thoughts about stealthing or slipping one of my special condoms on a top fucking me.

What would you do?

 

AThe question is where you meet these potential fucks.

There’s this hideous gasp among some fags that an anonymous hook-up should be an honest exchange of information and despite the numerous dishonest exchange about age, weight, etc. prior to someone’s dick going in someone else’s mouth, it’s some sort of cardinal sin if a condom isn’t used.

Never mind how we kill ourselves with crystal meth, smoking and booze.

But those choices are addictions and diseases while bareback fucking is wrong, wrong, wrong!

In my opinion, you should go on meds. Anything to keep more bareback fuckers fucking, I’m in favor. It’s between you and your doctor how aggressive  you want to be with the millions of friends you’ve got swimming around inside you now.

(And for any chasers, let me know who you are and I’ll consider sharing my toxic buddy’s info with you — with his permission — share his with you. You might want to include a pic.)

When I stealth, it’s usually a place like an adult bookstore or sex club. I was just there the other day and the fucking bottom I slipped my cock into pulled me out and insisted I wear a condom.

He didn’t provide one, mind you. I needed one.

I provided one. And he got a nice ride out of it and I got what I wanted. Interestingly enough, he kept checking to see if the condom was on, so I couldn’t rip it off. I didn’t need to do so because the fucker missed the point.

You want to be “safe,” you control the scene.

I brought my own “condoms,”  which in the darkened room he couldn’t see each one lacked the full tip (not just the pinhole prick you use).

Guess what fucker? You were loaded!

Now this little tweaker, who was in a darkroom and never saw me or anyone else who fucked his hole. If I know what goes down in these dastardly places, I also wasn’t the only one to stealth that day.

Let’s discuss the logistics of the whole thing.

The guy I fucked was a slut. And while there’s plenty of DNA evidence in his ass, who’s to say the condom didn’t fail or, despite my words here, he didn’t give me a condom that was broken and I was the one duped. As we both know, that’s a possibility as well.

If you’re inviting men over to your place and fucking them at your house… well, that’s just another story. I’d personally never use the broken condom bit in private one-on-one condom bit.

Spike-ItThat said, I have (on occasion) not honored the request to “pull out” in a timely manner. If the bottom is stupid to let me inside to play, I’m going to finish the game and score the touchdown. Truth is, most of the time they end up begging for it there anyway.

I’d also be a little careful about distributing sabotaged condoms. Anyone to simply pickup free condoms and expect them to work are stupid, but your fingerprints are probably on them and, well, I’d hate for some vengeful faggot to track you down (and in your city, they would).

After all this chatter, let’s boil it down:

Yes, Do…

  • Fuck raw. If the opportunity presents itself, fuck raw.
  • Go on meds. 
  • While you’re toxic, seek out chasers and gift. 
  • Stealth in sleazy places where bareback sex is the norm.
  • Stealth as a bottom.

No, Don’t…

  • Distribute sabotaged condoms anymore anywhere. 
  • Stealth as a top in one-on-one hook-ups

Best of luck and enjoy your new status. And don’t let the Aryan bastards get you down.

 

I love the occasional questions, so please send them along to iblastinside@gmail.com.

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Here's some ideas

A Message to the Safer Sex Community: Face the Fucking Reality of Bareback Sex

I’m on Scruff and 25-year-old cutie hits me up, basically begging me to fuck him.

It’s rare for that to happen. I’m two decades his senior. Of course, some young ones do chase older men. Usually this much enthusiasm can be attributed to men who recognize me as the writer of this blog. But several minutes into the conversation and nothing about my blog has come up.

After he’s hinting how much he wants his legs lifted into the air and he’s forwarded two photos of men fucking him — both using condoms. I finally cross into the territory of truth.

no bb ever. well, maybe

Even with the little “iBLASTinside” hint, the boy doesn’t connect the dots and, well, it’s a while before I point him to my blog.

He’s one of hundreds. The “safer” hoards who suddenly give up their convictions once they’re away from peer pressure.

Half of Gay Men Admit to Barebacking; The Other Half Lie

Recently, the gay press reported something like half of all gay men reported they barebacked.

The half that said they didn’t? Most of them lied.

I’ll even bet you that if the scientists conducted the study lined up the men with who fucked whom, they’d discover portions of men who had a sexual encounter and a portion would say they barebacked while the other half would say they were “safe.”

This wall of deniability exists. I’ve even seen it (and written about it). It’s not something so bold as stealthing Opens new window of a page on this blog.

I’ve had bottoms ask if I have condoms. I say yes. He comes over and ignores the condom. He just rides my cock. I don’t ask if I can cum inside. I just do.

Just Like the Right Wing & Abstinence

The AIDS and HIV education community have become just like religious conservatives are with sex education and their insistence that only one path exists: Abstinence. The right wing fails to face facts that teenagers will have sex and won’t promote birth control including the pill or condom use. Moreover, if a pregnancy happens to occur, one must carry that baby to term.

But the more progressive want to teach the straight youth of America how to minimize the risk of disease transmission and possible pregnancy.

Condom Nazis haven’t gone progressive at all. They see just one option. Use a condom. They can’t even fathom people refusing to wear the horrible plastic thing that deflates a hardon.

Look, let me make this perfectly clear.

No matter how many public service messages put out that say, “Safe sex is hot sex,” may work on the brain, but it’s not working on the cock.

People just don’t want to face the fact that barebacking is better than sex with a condom. As I compared it once, it’s like standard-definition versus high-definition television Opens new window of a page on this blog.

Reality Check

Men will fuck without condoms. Face it. Stop being judgmental. You can block the #BBBH hashtag Open-New-Window-External on Twitter or defriend them on Facebook, thinking that it’s alienating them. But it’s not. Barebacking is a movement that’s growing.

Again, half of all gay men admit to doing it and that means there’s more who do it. Bareback porn is growing faster than anything else out there.

We have to face these facts. Now let’s find a way to stem the tide of disease transmission while still letting men bareback if they so choose.

This is like handing out clean needles to drug users. It’s controversial. I get that.

But I am not stopping my barebacking. And I am watching hundreds of thousands of men who won’t either.

I’ve got some suggestions for over-the-counter products that should be developed and provided as an option to those who choose to bareback.

lightbulb_on Virus-Killing Lube

Like a spermicidal lubricant, this would be a lube meant to be deadly to HIV and Herpes. If used as lube, it’s a means to help kill any free-floating viruses that come into contact with it. Of course, it’s got to be mild enough for the intestinal lining to handle it but strong enough to kill those little microscopic bugs.

lightbulb_on Accordion Squeeze Bottle Virucidal Douche

Before and after the fuck, the bottom should douche with this mild concoction. Especially in combination with the lube, the more killing of any HIV or Herpes hanging around in the cum. I have a bottom friend who normally carries around an accordion squeeze bottle (like seen here to the right) that he uses after he’s bred to flush out the cum.

I know. There’s something romantic about the DNA staying inside the bottom. And I’ll admit that I like marking my territory.

But I’m coming up with a solution here and this is reasonable.

lightbulb_on Clear or Latex Paint Assliner

Transmission of HIV normally occurs through fissures in the lining of the intestinal walls.

This idea may reduce the sensation of the bottom so it could be bad idea, but like the latex paint people spread on the body or the invisible bandages, the bottom would put this into their ass to create a protective layer to help prevent any issues with the anal cavity.

lightbulb_on Plan B for HIV Available OTC

Plan B refers to the “day after” pill for women who might have gotten pregnant the night before. Because of the controversy around abortion, many jurisdictions and politicians believe life begins at conception. Plan B provides for pregnancy prevention by inhibition of ovulation Open-New-Window-External. In order to get Plan B, a doctor must prescribe it and, in certain jurisdictions, certain women require parental permission.

Likewise, it’s been found that taking antivirals following possible exposure to HIV will inhibit the transmission. Of course, one can go to one’s doctor and request a certain supply, which goes onto one’s insurance, which shows that the patient is participating in what insurance companies consider “high-risk behavior” and will potentially flag that patient from receiving insurance renewals and life insurance, among other benefits.

Creating an over-the-counter option, easily obtained from the pharmacist at a reasonable cost helps long-term and concerns.

A Final Note for Bug-Chasers and Gift-Givers

I am not denying the POZ community at all and those find eroticism in HIV, just as those who find pregnant women sexy. Please.

I’m not advocating or condemning bug-chasing Open-New-Window-External and/or gift-giving Open-New-Window-External.

But what has been obvious to me for far too long just keeps slipping through the mental grasp of those on the other side of this issue. I fear a backlash is coming of gay right-wing hatred, like a Tea Party within our own progressive ranks that would make for radicalization and fractures well beyond what we want to see.

This “no compromise” attitude that’s gridlocked the U.S. government concerns me. I’ve seen it in my own life as I approached GLBT legal groups with my firing for being gay only to be told that they were much too busy focusing on the marriage rights fight to worry about a man fired to being gay. It’s as if the gay rights movement worries more about eating wedding cake than putting food on the table.

I don’t want this to happen to sexual politics.

For those who wish to bareback but don’t wish to chase, here’s some options to protect themselves. It’s as simple as that.

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Guide to Men Providing Better Service (Especially Strippers, Go-Go Boys, Massage Therapists, Bartenders, Waiters, Retailers or Anyone in the Service Industry)

I tip well.

I always start at 20 percent for any service and it rises or falls based on what happens from that point forward. You can be a stripper or a hair stylist. You can be a runner at a restaurant or a bar-back — the people who aren’t normally tipped but get a share of the main worker tips. The service industry is about tips. I get that. And I tip expecting to be remembered, taken care of and provided with excellent service.

It takes more than a great body to lure in a lot of money.If you’re straight or gay, bisexual or flexible with your sexuality, it doesn’t matter. Most of these suggestions will help you increase your financial compensation from the likes of men like me. I’m not well-to-do by any means. But compared to a 23-year-old, I’m more settled and I have more disposable income that I’m willing to spend.

I’ve put these into an easy-to-remember mnemonic: HEFT. You must apply HEFT at your workplace and when you work. If you do, I promise that you will earn more money, gain more confidence and advance yourself down a path.

[alert style=”green”]

I am available for one-on-one training

This is something I enjoy teaching, especially young, attractive men. You want to learn this, I will tutor you how to make this system work for you. Just get in touch with me.

[/alert]

Hope

Always give the customer hope that you’re available to give him what he wants. Be coy, play a little hard to get, tease a little; but the moment you dash all hope is the moment the money train stops.

I’ll start this with the understanding that the stalkers and the creepy guys — anyone in your gut that says “run away” — is where to stop the hope. These are the people with whom you never want to give any opening as a possibility they can get something more from you. But the creeps and stalkers and crazies, while most memorable, are in the minority.

Everyone else, you give as much hope as possible. If you’re straight, the guy you’re talking to is the one guy you might try the gay thing with for the first time. If you’re gay, you’re open to dating older men.

Having a great body helps. Show it off.But never be that direct.

Hope has to be the goal for which the customer is always reaching but never quite achieves.

Hope is a tease, so provide the tease and do it on a schedule.

I had a beautiful, muscular, very straight trainer. I told him exactly what I needed. I never touched the man, but I told him I found him and his body and inspiration; he would need to use that to motivate me. As I advanced, he started and did well. He went from loose shirts to tighter, finally to an armless t-shirt.

Then it stopped.

Never shorts. Never tank tops. The teasing stopped and the loose shirts came back. I asked what happened and if I’d offended. I’d actually been paying him double his asking rate. Early in our agreement, he’d even text me encouragement. Now he stopped that too.

I lost interest and stopped going. I lost all hope.

I never expected to suck his dick or even see him naked. But the hope of it kept me engaged. In the end, I think his own discomfort with his sexuality might have stopped it. He’ll often post shirtless, flexing images of himself to Facebook, even when I was training with him. He couldn’t see what that would do to me.

 

Engage

You provide a service. I pay. We both know the reason we’re here. But you must make an effort to engage on another level in order to make that extra cash.

The absolute worst thing a hot dick dancer can do is walk up to me cold and say, “Would you like a lap dance?”

Suddenly, he’s ugly as sin.

Making someone laugh is a way to break down barriers He sees me as cash and sees himself as meat. Same with a waiter or a bartender. Do you know how much further a friendly smile, looking me right into the eyes and a, “Hello, how are you today? My name’s Andy.”

Suddenly, I don’t see you as meat for meat’s sake or someone who delivers me food or drink. I see a human being. I see someone who has a name, a life and who has meaning. And if you ask my name, someone who gives as fuck about me more than the cash in my pocket.

You start to care about me, I start to care about you, I’ll start giving you more money.

If a dick dancer takes five or 10 minutes to get to know me, he’ll get a lot more opportunity to get cash.

While I was in Key West recently, the go-go dancers and bartenders at Bourbon Street Pub were a perfect example. One dancer — a blond with an absolutely perfect body, beautiful pecs, an eight-pack, gorgeous face, etc. — walked by as I gave him a dollar. He never bothered looking down. He didn’t  kneel and say a word. He walked on by.

Another dancer — not quite as built, but still nice pecs — walked by. I gave him a dollar. He took a knee and asked my name, shook my hand and introduced himself. He smiled and looked me in the eye. Over the course of the evening, every time he walked by, I gave him at least another dollar and even purchased a lap dance from him.

What both dancers didn’t know was it was my first night of a week-long visit in Key West. I’d visit the bar many more times. The perfect body dancer got $1 out of me the whole trip. The great pec and wonderful personality dancer probably earned more than $350 from me.

I walked into a shop along Duval Street that sold absolutely wonderful products focusing on cocktails, wine and beer. As with every shop, the shit was expensive. The sourpuss shop owner never said a word, stood behind the counter and watched me like I was some sort of shoplifter. As I examined a ruby red slipper wine bottle holder I considered purchasing, I put it down and moved around the shop. The sourpuss darted over and adjusted the placement of the pump, assuring I’d done no damage (even though I’d handled it most carefully).

I left that shop quickly despite wanting to purchase a few things, I dared not make a single buy there to give the asshole owner any satisfaction.

At a jewelry shop down the street from there, I went looking for a pair of dangling earrings for my sister. The very nice shop owner greeted me warmly. Since he was British and wore a London Olympics t-shirt, we chatted a bit about that while I shopped and finally overpaid for a pair of shell earrings that looked like my sister. She loved them. And I felt all right about paying tourist prices.

The difference in all of this was engagement.

 

Flirt

While flirting provides hope and engages the customer, it takes things a step further. Flirting brings a customer back to you time and time again. It gets customers to ask for your section at a restaurant or call ahead to see if you’re working.

Girls are taught how to flirt. They’re taught how to dart their eyes, giggle a little, blink and appear shy. If you watched the movie “Legally Blonde,” the “bend and snap” scene in the salon is a great example of how women teach each other.

Men, on the other hand, are not taught these things. Moreover, if they’re taught anything, it’s not how to flirt with other men — especially how to flirt with the gay ones if you’re not gay.

Never, ever act girlish. Male-to-male flirting is much more subtle and it’s something a straight, bi and curious male will have to learn with which to get comfortable.

Flirting is all in the eyes

It begins with the eyes. Learn to stare deeply at another man without letting your eyes dart away. Look intensely but not with a leer. You stare just a beat longer than is comfortable and then blink and look away slowly. And never look down and away from the man. If you look down, go for his crotch or chest. Down and to the left means deception.

It’s even better if your glance is down at his crotch and then it returns to his eyes.

You can’t been too obvious as men have learned to do this dance over time and not be detected by their wives or girlfriends in the room. Even across a gay bar, a subtle flirtation can be happening.

Some of the best ways I’ve ever been worked is by strippers or other professionals giving a lap dance to someone else and working me across the room. I know they’re straight but they’ve got the eye fuck down and my cock doesn’t know the difference.

A gay man can see desire and will likely know a straight man based on his gaydar. I can see in a man’s eyes what he’s thinking. I’m empathetic, meaning I can usually sense what a person is feeling, but most especially men. There’s a vibe that comes off men that allows me to sense what’s going down.

I better get that you’re into me. The good ones find some element in each person they target to like. Whether it’s my glasses or shirt or even personality or the wonder of humanity. If you cannot find something to latch onto, something that you can show an attraction to, you might not get past first base with a potential customer. Consider it a kind of bromance that must be generated out of nothing.

If you are in a place where it is appropriate, flirting may mean showing some skin. You may be straight, but us gay men can appreciate beauty. We’ll drop the not too subtle hints of where you have tattoos or have you been working out crap to see your chest or other parts of your body.

This guy has a very defined Apollo's belt (but not much of a treasure trail)You can work it too. Picking up your shirt and rubbing your stomach showing off a treasure trail (that little line of hair down the middle of the belly Link Opens in a New Window) or Apollo’s belt (the iliac furrow below a six- or eight-pack near the hips Link Opens in a New Window). Yes, you can bend over and show off your ass, but make sure you have an ass to show off (as gay friends). Wear too tight clothes (if you work where that possible) and make it fashionable.

And remember that gay men have fetishes, especially older men. They will request odd things like smelling your shoes, socks or pits and touching your hair, biceps or pecs. Know what your limits might be and never react with judgment of something being rude, weird or bad.

Also understand that your actions in public may take you out of the running.

As I’ve outlined, I am not into smokers at all Opens a new window from this blog. If I see someone smoking, they’re out of the running for potential with me. I know bars in some towns can be smoker havens and some of you only smoke there, but these men with bodies of death puffing on cancer sticks still baffle me. I’d suggest that it limits your income if you do smoke. But I know an occasional whale (someone who will spend a lot of money) comes in offering to share his pack.

 

Touch

A little human contact goes a long way.

It’s long been found that waiters and waitresses who lightly touch their customers (usually the opposite gender) increase their tip amounts by at least 3 percent (a Cornell University from 1998 Link Opens in a New Window has often been cited for this). Remember that 3 percent is the minimum per tip increase.

You can get much more than 3 percent from me.

Shaking hands is always the first approach and the easiest to tell how receptive someone is to man-to-man contact. If possible, always hold the hand a beat longer than possible. Eye contact on the order of flirting always helps as well. A warm smile and a hesitation to release helps. You want the person to feel like you want to touch them.

Even staking out a place a little too close. Don’t invade their personal space too much. Just go into it enough.

If you’re sure someone is up for it, then go for the shoulder grab, especially when you’re stepping away. Make it very familiar feeling. “Hey Mark,” hand reaches out and grabs a shoulder. “I’m headed to the bar. Is there anything I can get for you?”

If your touch can get even more suggestive, it helps in the right circumstance. A brush of your crotch as you pass by, leaning against his shoulder, a hand around the waist, even holding his hand. Do the little movements that give you tingles up your spine. That does the same to him. Give him goosebumps. Make it memorable. There’s nothing wrong even if you’re having an intimate moment and you say to him, “How could I make this a night you won’t ever forget?”

 

HEFTY, HEFTY, HEFTY

If I had to add the last letter to my acronym, it would be “Y” for “Youth.” It normally is that thing that will bring in the trollish men with money. But the one thing I have to say about the most successful twentysomethings who’ve walked away with hundreds of dollars from me is how they’ve treated me and that’s with mature respect. And I’ve respected them back.

When I get a lap dance from someone new, I ask what I can and cannot do. I understand that $20 or $50 doesn’t buy me a fuck in the backroom of a bar and I’m never allowed to just shove my finger up an ass without permission.

I am paying for the fountain of youth, the tight body, the incredibly booty and the innocence no matter how many men have touched him.

I get great service, one must be a good customer. I try to do that.

A Note of Consideration

To anyone else who takes my ideas and runs with them: 

Ideas cannot be copyrighted. Hey, I know that. I didn’t put my ideas out there to make money (although that would be nice). But here’s the thing: Do you think I would be stupid enough to put all my ideas out there?

You’re always welcome just to go with what I suggest and adapt to your own business situation, but I’m a (get this) marketing professional who knows a thing or two. I’m available for consultation or even hiring 

But if you don’t want to do that, I understand. But perks always makes me happy. 

Yours,

Mark's Signature in White

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Swinging Richards: Is It Rape If She Gives a Blowjob First and Never Says to Stop?

Swinging Richards: Is It Rape If She Gives a Blowjob First and Never Says to Stop?

The Atlanta Gay Strip Club and one of my favorite destinations in town, Swinging Richards Opens a new window from this blog, made the local press lately. A woman patron accused two (or possibly three) dancers there of rape (GA Voice gay paper Link Opens in a New Window, WSB-TV Link Opens in a New Window). The police incident report is available too and I’ve included it Opens a new window from this blog.

The basic story goes like this:

A woman and her male friend has seven shots of some alcohol at that friend’s house before going to Blake’s on the Park, a local Gay bar. Then she recalls being at Swinging Richards, getting a lap dance from one of the dancers and being guided to the VIP area. She had “several things” in her hand including a debit card when “several” strippers guided her to the bar area. There was a discussion of numbers and she handed someone the debit card.

The next thing she recalled is being bent over a table and two or three males having sex with her. She doesn’t recall whether she told them to stop or whether they wore protection. Police interviewed the male friend who was with her. He said he never saw intercourse but he did see her give one of the dancers a blowjob.

She recalled following the sex being in a bathroom and throwing up. She was told she couldn’t stay in there. She doesn’t recall how she got home.

 Following the evening, she was quite disturbed. She took a “morning after” pill and reported it to police, who are investigating.

I know Swinging Richards well.

Is it rape if someone is intoxicated, provides oral sex beforehand and never says, "stop," during the act?

  • No, it's not rape. (56%, 41 Votes)
  • Maybe it's rape, maybe not. I can't be sure. (32%, 23 Votes)
  • Yes, it most definitely is rape. (12%, 9 Votes)

Total Voters: 73

Loading ... Loading ...

Did this happen? Scuttlebutt is an incident did occur, although not quite the way the woman has reported it to the police. Obviously, her status was one of inebriation and memory is quite disjointed. Moreover, her male friend’s recollection of her providing oral service doesn’t help. But if he witnessed such, he had to be in the private dancing room as well since such personal touching would not be allowed out in the main part of the VIP Room.

The report says he was taken to another area, which means another private room, I imagine, so as to not witness the dancers having their way with her — if indeed, this occurred.

It so happens, I stopped by last night and checked a few things out.

The experienced dancers well know where the big money comes from. It is not the female patrons. Women are notoriously bad tippers. For the most part, Swinging Richards prides itself on being a Gay bar and keeps it that way. While one can use a credit or debit card to pay, it’s easier to pay with cash and preferred.

Oh, let me also say that most strippers there claim to be straight. Now, I’d verify probably about half of them as truly straight but the ego boost they get from men and the money is well worth it for them. But the other 50 percent break down into some other groups. A few bisexuals and a couple of Gay men do wander the floor. However, it’s the other 30 percent or so that occupy the middle ground that become a concern.

This gray space of sexuality is where I tend to have the most concern. And perhaps Swinging Richards should as well.

In this space, men tend to struggle with the sensation of attraction to men and compensate with more activities with women. This is apparent not because there’s a perceived threat on his masculinity by rubbing up against a man, but by the sheer fact he actually enjoyed it. That inner conflict becomes ripe for more aggressive attempts at sexual adventures with women.

Believe me, I discuss with with some of the dancers and they get off their shift then “fuck the hell out of some bitch.”

Right.

The good dancers left their spooge somewhere else that night.

The dancers who perpetuated this act — if indeed it went down as it was reported — were plain stupid. Messing with women is never a good idea, especially when they’re intoxicated. And double-teaming just means there’s a witness. Stupid, stupid, stupid. One of you will get a chance to get a lesser charge and turn state’s witness on the other. Either way, you’ll both end up on the sex offenders’ list. Yuck.

The guys have closed ranks and aren’t talking much at the moment, but I know it will come out eventually. I have my guesses, but for now, I’ll keep them to myself.

Here’s my advice for Swinging Richards:

  1. Management already bans women from the VIP area but should extend that to the private rooms. I know that’s money in the pocket, but women can cause this kind of trouble.
  2. Consider a waiver before entering into the room, outlining it’s for “time” and “visual entertainment.” This will protect the club since this woman’s next move is filing a civil suit against the club. Dancer, patron and club must sign it.
  3. Only two people in a room at a time: The dancer and the patron. I’d be honest. The whole chair thing across the doorway sucks. I’d get a timed door lock or something along those lines (not a full door but a three-fourths). I’ve even consider investing in renovating the space in the back so there’s more but smaller rooms and a little more high-end space.
  4. If there’s a doubt that a patron isn’t sober, administer a Breathalyzer. I’ve seen these used at many clubs at exits so patrons can be assured they’re legal to drive. Above a designated amount, you will not allow a patron to purchase a dancer.

I’ve got some more ideas for Swinging Richards, but that’s another post.

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