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Swinging Richards: Is It Rape If She Gives a Blowjob First and Never Says to Stop?

Swinging Richards: Is It Rape If She Gives a Blowjob First and Never Says to Stop?

The Atlanta Gay Strip Club and one of my favorite destinations in town, Swinging Richards Opens a new window from this blog, made the local press lately. A woman patron accused two (or possibly three) dancers there of rape (GA Voice gay paper Link Opens in a New Window, WSB-TV Link Opens in a New Window). The police incident report is available too and I’ve included it Opens a new window from this blog.

The basic story goes like this:

A woman and her male friend has seven shots of some alcohol at that friend’s house before going to Blake’s on the Park, a local Gay bar. Then she recalls being at Swinging Richards, getting a lap dance from one of the dancers and being guided to the VIP area. She had “several things” in her hand including a debit card when “several” strippers guided her to the bar area. There was a discussion of numbers and she handed someone the debit card.

The next thing she recalled is being bent over a table and two or three males having sex with her. She doesn’t recall whether she told them to stop or whether they wore protection. Police interviewed the male friend who was with her. He said he never saw intercourse but he did see her give one of the dancers a blowjob.

She recalled following the sex being in a bathroom and throwing up. She was told she couldn’t stay in there. She doesn’t recall how she got home.

 Following the evening, she was quite disturbed. She took a “morning after” pill and reported it to police, who are investigating.

I know Swinging Richards well.

Is it rape if someone is intoxicated, provides oral sex beforehand and never says, "stop," during the act?

  • No, it's not rape. (56%, 41 Votes)
  • Maybe it's rape, maybe not. I can't be sure. (32%, 23 Votes)
  • Yes, it most definitely is rape. (12%, 9 Votes)

Total Voters: 73

Loading ... Loading ...

Did this happen? Scuttlebutt is an incident did occur, although not quite the way the woman has reported it to the police. Obviously, her status was one of inebriation and memory is quite disjointed. Moreover, her male friend’s recollection of her providing oral service doesn’t help. But if he witnessed such, he had to be in the private dancing room as well since such personal touching would not be allowed out in the main part of the VIP Room.

The report says he was taken to another area, which means another private room, I imagine, so as to not witness the dancers having their way with her — if indeed, this occurred.

It so happens, I stopped by last night and checked a few things out.

The experienced dancers well know where the big money comes from. It is not the female patrons. Women are notoriously bad tippers. For the most part, Swinging Richards prides itself on being a Gay bar and keeps it that way. While one can use a credit or debit card to pay, it’s easier to pay with cash and preferred.

Oh, let me also say that most strippers there claim to be straight. Now, I’d verify probably about half of them as truly straight but the ego boost they get from men and the money is well worth it for them. But the other 50 percent break down into some other groups. A few bisexuals and a couple of Gay men do wander the floor. However, it’s the other 30 percent or so that occupy the middle ground that become a concern.

This gray space of sexuality is where I tend to have the most concern. And perhaps Swinging Richards should as well.

In this space, men tend to struggle with the sensation of attraction to men and compensate with more activities with women. This is apparent not because there’s a perceived threat on his masculinity by rubbing up against a man, but by the sheer fact he actually enjoyed it. That inner conflict becomes ripe for more aggressive attempts at sexual adventures with women.

Believe me, I discuss with with some of the dancers and they get off their shift then “fuck the hell out of some bitch.”

Right.

The good dancers left their spooge somewhere else that night.

The dancers who perpetuated this act — if indeed it went down as it was reported — were plain stupid. Messing with women is never a good idea, especially when they’re intoxicated. And double-teaming just means there’s a witness. Stupid, stupid, stupid. One of you will get a chance to get a lesser charge and turn state’s witness on the other. Either way, you’ll both end up on the sex offenders’ list. Yuck.

The guys have closed ranks and aren’t talking much at the moment, but I know it will come out eventually. I have my guesses, but for now, I’ll keep them to myself.

Here’s my advice for Swinging Richards:

  1. Management already bans women from the VIP area but should extend that to the private rooms. I know that’s money in the pocket, but women can cause this kind of trouble.
  2. Consider a waiver before entering into the room, outlining it’s for “time” and “visual entertainment.” This will protect the club since this woman’s next move is filing a civil suit against the club. Dancer, patron and club must sign it.
  3. Only two people in a room at a time: The dancer and the patron. I’d be honest. The whole chair thing across the doorway sucks. I’d get a timed door lock or something along those lines (not a full door but a three-fourths). I’ve even consider investing in renovating the space in the back so there’s more but smaller rooms and a little more high-end space.
  4. If there’s a doubt that a patron isn’t sober, administer a Breathalyzer. I’ve seen these used at many clubs at exits so patrons can be assured they’re legal to drive. Above a designated amount, you will not allow a patron to purchase a dancer.

I’ve got some more ideas for Swinging Richards, but that’s another post.

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