Tag Archives: asses

Helping You Out

Helping You Out

Here’s a collection of miscellaneous things that bug me about online profiles:

“Not to be racist but…” or “It’s just a matter of taste…”

Truth is, you’re about to be racist. When’s the last time you read, “Not to be racist but I really only fuck Asians.”

Too much of what men write is what they exclude, not what they include.

Men can’t be blondes

Men are only blonds. It’s one of the few examples where the masculine and feminine matters in the English language. Females are blonde, men are blond. Fucking kills me every time I see it. And speaking of color…

No one’s 50 shades of grey

Unfortunately, our language is getting fucked up thanks to people being unable to figure out Grey is normally a name (it is in the book as it is for anatomy, both the original book and the television show). The official color is gray with an “A.”

HMU DTF

So “hit me up” I’m “down to fuck”? Really? Up and down? I want to go in and out.

“Breeding” means raw

It amazes me when I post an ad somewhere about “loading” or “breeding” an ass and then I get the “safe only” response. Even more amazing is the request that they “just suck me off.”

Uh, no. I’m here for the ass, not for the mouth.

When I say “potent cum,” what do you think I mean?

I’m just asking.

Sup

Fuck you.

What’s up with the abbreviation for etcetera?

If you’re going to go on and on, it’s etc. not ect.

The contractions get me

Please, if you will not go somewhere, you won’t go there… And you want to go elsewhere.

Also, there is no way that there are people out there who don’t understands there’s some contractions out there that the masses seem to misunderstand.

For the most part, I find barebackers are good people; they are often misunderstood and they’re accused of being spreaders of disease and woe. Truth is, barebackers just know their cocks and asses provide a gateway to happiness. Theirs is a life of freedom.

Don’t cry to yo mama

I make it extraordinarily clear that I say some nasty shit when I breed ass. I’m verbal as I approach orgasm.

Just recently it happened again, but this time the fucker didn’t have a choice. I’d mounted him and his little 5-foot-7 frame couldn’t go anywhere. As I am thrusting inside him, I began some of the most horrific things you can say to a bottom.

I’d warned him. Clearly. He knew I’d say things.

He didn’t respond or beg or even whimper. I knew he just wanted it over.

I growled and let it go in his ass, leaning over into his ear: “You asked for this.”

smokerAnd don’t try to lie

I know when someone lies to me. Sometimes I choose to ignore it. Other times, I call the fucker out.

Another thing I make clear is no smokers. All the time, people try to get around it.

“Oh damn,” a guy says the other day after begging me to fuck him. He’d claimed to be a fan and, well, sent me a pic of himself, of all things… smoking. “I quit in May. You won’t smell it on me. I promise.”

Men are known for their veracity. I’m always telling the truth to fuck ass. And I’m sure you’re telling the truth to get cock.

May? Why didn’t you go for last June?

Anyway, he got cut off.

Yes, you fuckers can go ahead and try to mask the smell with cologne and mouthwash, but allow me to point out a couple of salient points:

  • You’ve dulled your senses with smoking so you can’t fucking smell the shit on you.
  • Because the smell adheres everywhere, it’s usually on you in someway.
  • And even more apparent, your lungs are saturated so when you exhale, it can be smelled.
  • It’s even within your bodily fluids like spit, sweat and especially cum (which can stink like a mutherfucker).

Grindr is for babies

What the fuck is up with Grindr?

  1. It doesn’t work.
  2. It has children on it.
  3. It doesn’t work.
  4. The children on it aren’t interested in “hooking up.”
  5. It doesn’t work.

You’re a hooker if you’re shirtless without wildlife

I live in the South, so it’s not odd for me to see photos of people holding up fish, frogs or other creatures from some Redneck hunting expedition while being shirtless. Some gay men post these images as proof of butchness, although when you’re sucking my cock or taking my raw, rockhard cock up your ass and begging for my cum like the little bitch you are, you’re not so butch.

However, if you’re shirtless on any hook-up site or app — this means you, you little Grindr children — and then you add that you’re not here to “hook up,” you’re a hypocrite and a liar.

I don’t shave my balls because I don’t like hair

Lick the sack for larger snack.

My hairy sack tends to get in the way of allowing people to find my spots to give me a lot more pleasure. And the more pleasure I get, the bigger the load they get.

And I shoot big loads, with or without a little licky licky.

Why do you think a barebacker should compromise?

Sometimes I get a horny bottom who insists on a condom, who wants me to fuck them but expects me to be the one to compromise with a condom.

No.

Why should I be the one to compromise?

DDF? Of course!

Everyone online is DDF and clean. Fuck. I’m clean. I took a shower yesterday.

I’ve never seen anyone ever answer other than, “Yes, I’m DDF.” It’s a useless stat. I’ve seen people proudly declare they’re poz or “poz and undetectable,” but I’ve never, ever seen anyone answer the truth when it comes to status.

“Oh I’ve got the clap and a small case of the crabs. It will clear up in a few days.”

“Look, the Valtrex seems to be working. Don’t worry about the Herpes. It’s not like I’m gonna give you the nose-falling-off syphilis.”

Seriously, guys. If you’re “DDF and looking for same,” all you’re going to get is lies.

Understand the status

I’m glad to see more and more people who get the difference between “undetectable and on meds” and “neg, tested 1/13/14.”

Which would you rather fuck?

The answer should be undetectable.

The neg guy hasn’t been tested in more than six months. Cum on.

Curious about the Truvada whores

How many of you “Neg+PrEP” are really on PrEP and how many of you are “Now Neg + Taking Meds”?

 

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Travel Diary: Velvet Vice

Travel Diary: Velvet Vice

I lived in Washington, D.C., for more than a decade. Then again, it was a decade ago when I lived here and bred asses here.

When I return on my visits, it’s always nice to check out the new crop to breed. And there are. What I forget about the D.C. area is the attitude.

When I first moved here as a graduate student in my early twenties, this city held hope for my social life. As began to frequent my first gay bars, I soon felt that hope dwindle into the embers of burning hatred for anything remotely close to social gathering places of gay men that lack any nudity.

On this visit, I am inaccessible by Metro, which means most people avoid such hook-ups like they’re somewhere 200 miles in orbit above the planet, where there’s a total lack of oxygen and inaccessible except via special dispensation from NASA.

deephole4loadsThe Velvet Vice Hole

This is impossibly good ass came to me, though.

This bottom has a hole that deserves a whole book. The perfect hole is a rare find. I do not find it. I find many asses to fuck. Many enjoyable.

Few cause me to lose it.

This one did.

His name on BarebackRT.com is DeepHole4Loads. You can see the perfection of the photo.

His ass. His muscular toned body. But great photos are a dime a dozen. I’ve seen hundreds of great photos only to fuck a mediocre ass.

His suck job on arrive was above average. He proved to be good. I tickled his ass with my finger. He’d told me two previous loads had been deposited earlier and he’d offered to have them cleaned out. But I told him to leave them in.

His hole lacked any hard ridge. With the pucker had a nice ring of hair, it could have been smooth… almost perfectly so.  My fingertip slipped inside and could feel the familiar warmth I’d associated with a nice ass.

No cum had leaked near the hole, which told me this little cunt soaked up all the cum he could.

As I prepared to fuck his as, I couldn’t help but lick it a little. He’d already spit on his hand to supply the lube for the ass for my cock. But I wanted to add mine to the mix.

His asshole opened as soon as my tongue touched it and I could hear him groan. He snorted some poppers. The way his ass grabbed at the tip of my tongue, I couldn’t hold off long before I mounted him.

My cock slipped inside. Easily. This man was a natural bottom. His ass immediately contoured to the shape of my cock. He didn’t need a moment to adjust. And he didn’t thrust one way or another. He let me set the pace.

I like a bottom who knows who is in control. I fucked him, but his ass just kept up the perfection in massaging my cock.

I couldn’t distinguish where his sphincter wrapped around me. His hole tightly grabbed my cock and held on. He wanted me.

“Use my dirty cunt,” he whispered.

“You like men to fuck you raw, don’t you?” I said.

“I like my cunt used,” he said.

“I love cum.”

I wrapped my arm around him and my hand around his throat. As I pumped his ass slowly and deliberately, I tried to hold off.

But his ass just held on to my cock like a velvet vice. Before I knew it, my cum began to boil and I began my orgasm.

I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t control it. I just… happened.

I felt his pulse quicken under my hand. He knew I was cumming, at least on a subconscious level.

He groaned. “You want my cum?” I asked.

“Pump it in my dirty cunt,” he said.

Through the blinding strain of my orgasm, I kept it up. “You’re getting my load man,” I said.

This man experienced jizzjoy. He wanted it. He got it.

I stayed inside him and pumped it deeper. He left later, off to find another load.

I would hope to pump him again.

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Time for Some Fresh Fucks in 2014

Time for Some Fresh Fucks in 2014

Around this time of year, I review my top fucks for 2013 and head toward 2014. But not this year.

While 2013 did contain some good ass worth recalling (like Chris the escort who seems to be all over the place these days, a hot Indy bottom, a Baltimore hottie, along with one or two others), it was not a banner year for me and breeding.

In fact, I’d consider myself a bit off my game.

All totaled up for 2013, I made 213 deposits, 31 stealths and actually took 11 in my own ass.

Yes, I’ve been bottoming.

A top must never be complacent in his skill set. Being open to the possibilities is a must. Normally these topping sessions occur in conjunction with a massage session, where a therapist takes the time to relax me and allow me to open up, so to speak.

But a couple of times, it’s just been a beautiful cock and I really didn’t feel like sucking it until it came. And it seemed like such a waste to let it go someplace else when I had a perfectly good ass I could back up to the gloryhole.

Into 2014

Like 2013, I will be traveling extensively and hoping for new asses to breed. Don’t worry, I’m not going bottom on anyone. But I’ll probably supplement my load counts with loads in my ass with the truly versatiles out there — not that there are many available.

I’d like to see my numbers grow this year, although let’s face it — I’m no spring chicken. At 46, a lot of the younger bucks run away and the old farts (like me) are chasing young bucks.

What’s your #LoadCount? Tweet me st @iblastinside or comment here.

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I Am An Ordinary Guy And A Big Ole Geek

I Am An Ordinary Guy And A Big Ole Geek

I am an ordinary guy and a big ole geek. I never proclaimed myself to be anything more or less.

Okay. Maybe I am a stud. And I don’t mean a stud in some amorphous sense that one looks at a hot guy and goes, “Damn, he’s a stud.” I also don’t mean the term you might find in some urban dictionary where it refers to a general bad ass.

I am the animal kingdom version of a stud.

Definition: “An animal retained for breeding.”

Those who give me half a chance to get hard and shove my cock into their hole realize two things:

1. This guy has a very hard cock.

2. This guy knows how to fuck.

Given time, a third thing happens.

3. He breeds.

Knock on wood — primarily, my own — that’s what happens.

My blog here makes no secret of who I am and the type of person I happen to be. I should work out more. I’m not hugely fat. I have one tattoo. I wear geek glasses. I am not stud looking.

Bottom-BrainiacImagine my surprise when this fucking brainiac arrives at my door and says he’s confused who I actually am. Apparently, he’d confused me with some of the porn images on my website.

As he explained — in trying to leave and not have to see me naked — he’d assumed I was the beefy, tattooed guy who was fucking on my site.

Now I went through the last several entries. For the most part, all the porn stuff is labeled. So let’s say the dumb ass can read (but after chatting with him a bit, I’m not sure about that).

It leaves us with the escort entries on Chris, formerly of Detroit, formerly of Orlando, now I think he’s back in Detroit.

This means genius-in-muscles actually thought I was a bottom who was going to fuck him.

I didn’t fuck him because he wanted a pass. And who am I to rape the unwilling (and someone who’s six-f00t-six and got enough muscles to break me in half).

Truth be told, I got this beautiful, muscular Hispanic man with a gorgeous ass who came preloaded with two other loads that gave his ass this tangy taste!

But that’s another story.

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#CloseGhost

#CloseGhosts and My Recent Travels

You can’t see them. You can’t touch them. You just knew that one moment they were there and the next, they were gone. Is it a mystery? Some phenomenon worthy of Bigfoot, the Bermuda Triangle and what pills Paula Abdul takes before going on air?

Probably not.

I call them #CloseGhosts. And I’ve recently had close encounters of the plentiful kind them on recent travels.

With the conviction of a serial killer who proclaims his innocence, these lovely bottoms in far away cities and town lurk upon websites (like BarebackRT.com or this blog), Twitter or other online hook-up destinations, assuring traveling a top when he arrives in their town, city or other geographic region that an ass will be ready to fuck at his demand.

Alas, a phenomenon occurs when that top arrives and is in close proximity to the bottom. The cum dump vanishes into thin air, often with some wispy excuse similar to “the dog ate my homework” or “the check is in the mail.”

Case #1: London Twitter Twink & the Quickening

london-postcardWe all know that London is notoriously known for all the ghosts that wander its streets and waterways, its old buildings and strange little alleys. However, having had men upon men beg me for my load for years, I figured one might be legit among them.

My BBRT exploded. I had more than 300 messages at one time and maintaining control of it via my iPhone came close to impossible. One gentleman who seemed legit got pissy because I’d not responded to him immediately upon arrival in town, so he crossed himself off the list. The rest where the normal lot. I waded through them all, trying to invite someone over for a breeding to my centrally located hotel near the West End, not far from Trafalgar Square.

Too far. Apparently, Londoners go to bed early on Bank Holidays and weren’t interested as I attempted to find someone to fuck about 21:00 to 22:00 (that’s 9 p.m. to 10 p.m. for us bloody Americans).

Then a tweet came in from a twink. How’s London, he asked. I replied. It became a conversation of sorts that moved to direct messages and a bit more privacy when I mentioned my trip would be so much better if I had an ass to breed.

“I can help you out there,” he said. “I’d love for you to load my ass. Big fan of your blog.”

He asked when I was leaving. Told him this was my last night. I asked where he was. He said, “Covent Gardens.”

Boom. That’s the neighborhood I’m in. I’m over at the… I listed the hotel.

Pause. Double pause.

“Oh, it’s too bad I’m not at home tonight. I’m staying with a friend in the country.”

Poof.

Case #2: The Early Alabama Bird Misses the Juicy Worm

greetings-from-Birmingham-Alabama

I’d started on BBRT with this hottie and turned to text messaging. We were getting ready for some good fun, all planned out in Alabama. I’d let him know that it would be a late arrival for me and he’d told me we’d have “several hours” of play.

I’d even arranged a nice corner room, away from everyone in the hotel, because I had a feeling this fuck might get a bit out of control.

I don’t usually trust bottoms. Bottoms in general are not trustworthy. But I’d grown to trust this one.

I arrived just after 9 p.m. and texted. No response. Another text. No response. Around 9:30, I get a response saying he’d fallen asleep. Then, “he didn’t know I was going to be so late.”

Late? It’s 9:30!

We’d been setting this up for a month.

The shitty little cocktease went on to berate me for almost an hour about being “late.” Of course the little fucker didn’t get off so easily in this from me.

Obviously, he loved the chase, but actually fucking… well, I’m guessing his balls hadn’t quite dropped yet. My timing was never the issue.

POOF

Cases 3 & 4: The Revolutionary Missing Men

Bareback top visiting New HampshireIn this history-rich part of America just north of Boston, finding fuckable asses aren’t easy. I knew this. I planned for it with a backup ass. I found them both and, as it turned out, both claimed to want it.

One said he’d be online on BBRT. Te other asked me to text. My #1 choice, the textable ass, got a text.

We pinged a bit before I asked him to come over.

Pause. He then, for some reason, told me his actual location. In Maine. And invited me over.

Baffled, I asked what was up.

“I don’t have a car,” was his response.

Now it wasn’t as if both of us were in downtown Boston. This little hottie claimed in the middle of bumfuck Maine, he had no transportation, after knowing I was visiting from out of town.

WTF and POOF

Back-up plan into action. Logged onto BBRT. Sure enough, he was there. Message. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait longer. And more. I’m tired. Just go to fucking bed.

POOF.

This ghost responded when I was no longer close, in Boston, about to fly home.

Just the Four?

No. I have so many more stories. But these are the four most recent. I did debate divulging Twitter names, BBRT handles showing a photo or two, but I’m going to leave it alone. After all, these #CloseGhosts could be #Catfish for all I know.

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