Tag Archives: accountability

What Is Rape?

What Is Rape?

I get a fucking lot of accusations in my inbox. Often. Here’s one of the more interesting:

When I was 18, a top I met off phone chat had me come to his place. When I arrived, he was much older than described…

I get inside he immediately grabs my head and slams it against door then rapes me raw. He degraded me racially, calling me nasty Asian slurs.

After he was done, he hid my cell phone and keys and kept me for 15 days.

I was used as sex slave to pay for his meth addiction and infected. A black man felt bad and freed me — the only one out of 65 RAPISTS.

I went to police and he was arrested. But [during my captivity], he sent texts to his cell from mine saying everything was consensual AND IT WASN’T.

He now walks free and I hate him and, because of [the AIDS] virus, I no longer date.

I hate you, Mark, and all other violent predators.

For some of you perverts out there (and you know I love you all), you’re jerking off just thinking about this scenario. But let’s get to this Asian gentleman’s message to me and splice it apart, step by step.

Rape Is Bad

I do not believe this story. Here’s why I don’t:

If this 18-year-old gentleman disappeared for 15 days, his family, friends or others would have noticed. Sure, this violent man might have created some text messages back and forth, but those messages would have occurred after the disappearance. Any cell phone records could show that.

Further, in many states, to knowingly pass along HIV is criminal. HIV maintains a portion of the DNA from the source. A test could determine whether the victim was indeed infected by the older man.

I believe the consent likely came from this young man before the disappearance. He told some friends and family he would be gone a while — probably not 15 days — and after a while, came not to like the scene he’d fantasized about because the reality wasn’t quite and fun as the jerk off images.

I’ve seen that often and any of you with any level of kinks would agree.

Nonetheless, if I suspend my disbelief, let me just say if this is true, this is bad.

Let me also suggest to the writer that — unlike my website, which is about sex — that the guy who kidnapped you and held you captive, did that violent act to you. It wasn’t the sex, but the power play that you didn’t like (and the fact he was older than he initially said).

Safety in Hook-Ups

The dear letter writer made a gigantic boo-boo, for which he fails to take accountability. And I get so fucking tired of hearing this shit from people who read some of my posts.

Every time someone goes to a stranger’s home or hotel room or wherever to fuck, you’re taking a risk. Didn’t mamma teach you not to talk to strangers, much less fuck them (or let them fuck you)?

Gay men … damn, all men … love casual sex. We let our cocks put us into places we shouldn’t be. I’ve been there. And this guy ended up some place he shouldn’t have been.

Do not blame anyone else for that.

I’m not saying he dressed slutty so he should have been raped or anything like that. He didn’t deserve to be held hostage for 15 days — if indeed, that’s what happened.

But he’s not innocent.

He want to blame the car for hitting him head on when he was already driving on the wrong side of the road. He did something dangerous.

Fucker beware

I No Longer Date

Oh. My. God. Being Poz prevents this little fucker from dating.

All of you Poz guys out there need to stop dating, stop fucking and curl up into a ball and just shit yourselves.

Another reason not to believe this story: The idea that life ends with seroconversion. Hell, for some, becoming Poz means life begins. No longer worried about when HIV might arrive, but knowing that it’s now there with you.

(As an aside, I’m impressed the dude also counted all 65 guys who fucked him.)

If indeed this is true, let me speak to you, my Asian letter writer:

You need to speak with a professional and go into counseling for this trauma.

You need to find a way to move on, date and find a way to heal. The amount of pent up hate you’ve gathered up into yourself is preventing you from seeing that life continues. You survived something terrible but not everyone is out to hurt you.

Jumping Off the Hate Cliff

Now he says I am out to hurt him. I’m some sort of predator.

I’m not. Never have been.

If you’re upset about the stealthing thing, I’ve explained it time and time again and don’t really need to do it again.

If you’re upset that I use bottoms, all tops do whether they admit it or not.

I just think you’re upset. And once the proper counseling is in place, you’ll be better off.

I didn’t fuck you. I didn’t abduct you. I didn’t hold you hostage. Don’t hate me.

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Good Top, Bad Top, Evil Top, Glad Top

Good Top, Bad Top, Evil Top, Glad Top

Morality is a funny thing. I’m so used to being told that I’m bad, evil and going to hell by the radical right, it just seems to roll off me like I’m coated in Rain-X and it’s a light shower. It doesn’t even bother me. So when some members of the Gay community — even barebackers with their own questionable place to stand on a position of greater morality — begin to question whether I might be “good” or “bad,” one is left with a little Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged in your soul.

Sometimes I feel like the slut about to be stoned.

Nonetheless, it’s not anything like the OTHER 99 PERCENT or a goodly chunk of the unemployed — of which I am one. We attempt to find work, fill out countless forms online, write, rewrite, rewrite, recast, alter, edit, reformat, update and rewrite our resumes again only to go on job interviews that look promising then some fucktard in the 1 percent decides his gold parachute needs more diamonds and platinum encrusting so he decides to announce a hiring freeze.

Sex is one of those things in which we have completely under our control. It’s not the color of our skin, our birthplace or luck. Sex isn’t a roll of the die. It is a choice whether we engage with a stranger or date for a time.

We have to remove the morality from fucking. It just simply doesn’t work. What does is personal accountability. Now you can run to a dictionary and splice terms with me but I’ll give you my basic lesson difference between responsibility and accountability.

Responsibility is being able to answer for one’s conduct and obligations to another person, group or entity.

Accountability is being able to answer for one’s conduct and obligations to oneself. 

We need not rely on anyone else. The choices are our own. With sex, you are accountable only to oneself.

If you’re fucked up enough to turn your back on someone holding a loaded gun who swears they won’t fire it into your backside, then you need to have your head examined.

Hate me if you want, but there’s a lesson to be learned here. Better you read and learn than fuck and regret.

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