I am told few stripper bars compare to Swinging Richards — at least between Miami and the Canadian border. Canada has a few stripper clubs considered better than Swinging Richards. I’ve not visited. I wouldn’t know. But I’ve talked to the dancers, who come from far and wide to work at this Atlanta institution. Arizona, Costa Rica, Florida, New Jersey and other states, territories you will find interesting.

Inside the door and after you pay your cover, the ample stage will offer some of the best beef available. While women will pass into the door, Swinging Richards is a Gay bar and it makes no bones about it.

Recently I witnessed a group of women having a fit outside the bar because their money was being refused, as Swinging Richards plainly posts on its website at its entrance — no bachelorette or bachelor parties. To add insult to injury, one of the beefy dancers passed by as the head bitch asked if indeed the rumor was true that a majority of the dancers were straight.

He answered yes.

She asked whether he would prefer to dance for her and her pretty friends or “those fags over there,” as she pointed at a duo of average looking guys having a drink.

“Oh, I’d much rather dance for the guys,” the dancer replied, as the bitch’s jaw hit the floor. “Girls never tip well. Guys always take care of me.”

The two “fags” handed him a twenty and left with the straight dancer for a lap dance. The girls left the bar.

I love Swinging Richards.

Yes, many dancers are straight, bi, curious or heteroflexible. In fact, you’ll find so few Gay dancers here that it’s impossible. However, you won’t give a fuck. This bar isn’t a place for anything other than to get up close and personal with a fantasy. Many of the men here learn how to provide that fantasy — for a price.

The men are hot, hot and hot. The men take good care of themselves (although far too many of them smoke). You will find all shapes, sizes (for a while, a nicely muscular little person worked here), ethnicities and cock sizes. Generally, the men start around 21 years old and go as old as late 30s. Many men are muscular from very beefy to rather tight and toned.

What I notice is each man seems to offer a “hook.” There’s something about them that pulls the customers in. If they don’t have a hook, they create one.

One guy, who isn’t from Russia, looks like he could be Russian. His stage name is “Dmitri.” Then there’s surfer dude “Collin” with his shaggy blond hair and his massive cock — two big draws. Baseball guy and his outfit is great but it’s his ass for days that always draws my attention (and I mean, this white boy has more junk in the trunk than I’ve ever seen).

Many of the men sport tattoos. Ink enhances the experience. “Clint” is a long-time dancer there and his body art continues to evolve.

Cover on most nights is $10, although there’s no cover on Tuesday before midnight and Wednesday night is $5. Keep in mind that parking is always $3 but the lot is well lit and manned. Friday and Saturday nights are the obvious choice for the best nights when the most men are working. The place is well ventilated but Wednesday offers smoke-free nights, for those of us wanting a little less fog and stench. If you’re around Tuesday early, you might get a glimpse of the newest men on trial to see if they can make it to be a Swinging Richards dancer. Tuesday is also considered a difficult night to work since the cover is free.

The main room features a nice stage down the middle with two bars — one to the right as you enter and one at the very back. The drinks are expensive but generous. And what goes for top shelf other places is well here (for example, Smirnoff is the well vodka).

The stage will support six dancers but depending on the number of dancers on shift and the crowd, as few as two might be on stage.

Dancers perform three songs. The first in their “outfit of choice.” Each dancer gives off a vibe. I mentioned the baseball guy. He and his beautiful ass comes in baseball gear constantly — even with black grease paint under his eyes. Another does the soccer get up. A New Jersey homeboy styles his beanie. And oddly enough, one Latin from Florida does boot-scooting stomping in leather cowboy boots and jeans. Others offer up normal, everyday clothing. Usually they’re all without shirts.

Upon the second song, the dancers shift positions and will remove their pants. Health code requires shoes at all times. Underwear choices tend to be fun to watch — from jocks to Diesel to Underoos to boxers.

The third song shifts dancers another position and, for bigger dicked boys and those with confidence in their bodies, the underwear comes off. If the dancers seem shy, they’re not. They’re waiting for more money.

At any point during the three songs, bring a dollar to the stage. Each dancer wears one or two armbands. Fold and tuck the dollar into the armband. Generally, the more money made the first two songs, the more likely a dancer will get naked on the third. Additionally, bringing money to them will give you a glimpse.

Going to see dancers multiple times during a set does work. If the dancer isn’t too stuck on themselves (and some are, as you might imagine) the dancer will notice you more. If it’s not too crowded on the main floor following the set, dancers usually hit the locker room to drop off their cash and then to come out and “thank” their tipping customers. You might be asked if you’d like a lap dance.

If you’re male, please consider going to the VIP Room for the lap dance.

The VIP Room isn’t the “champagne” room in straight bars. This is an area just outside the private rooms where dancers “hang out.” Women are not allowed here. You pay $10 extra to come back here.

A lap dance on the main floor means hands at your side.

A lap dance in the VIP Room means you get to explore a little. You’re supposed to keep it above the waist, but we all know how guys are.

FYI, a lap dance is $20. It lasts a full song. Be careful if you engage a dancer. The less scrupulous will continue dancing and won’t alert you to the fact that you’re racking up $20 per song. After 10 minutes, you’ll owe $80.

That’s right. You’ll notice your favorite songs are a little shorter here. Songs run 2½ to 3 minutes.

The dancer will get completely naked. Don’t hesitate to ask for what you want. For example, you want to rub his chest and arms, go for it. But again, you have to do that in the VIP Room. Not allowed out front.

The back bar opens up to the VIP Room as well, so getting drinks here isn’t a problem. If you’re like me and stick with one bartender when you enter a club, you’ll want to work with a bartender from the back bar if you plan on visiting the VIP Room, which is a definite recommendation. On busier nights, cocktail waiters work. While the waiters have stations outside, they can serve you in the VIP Room as well.

The terrific part of the VIP Room is dancers do hang out here. Yes, you are hit up for lap and private dances. The good dancers will engage in a conversation first.

Dancers will not kiss or get too intimate in the VIP Room. They will tease and imply a great deal prior to entering into the “private dance” spaces — these are cubbies without doors just off the VIP Room.

Private dances work like this. You pay a certain amount to the “house” (meaning Swinging Richards) and a certain amount to the dancer. Standard fees follow:

• 15 minutes: $40 to the house, $100 to the dancer
• 30 minutes: $65 to the house, $200 to the dancer
• 60 minutes: $125 to the house, $400 to the dancer (comes with a bottle of champagne)

On many nights, especially if its slow, you’ll hear about “Two-for-One” VIP rooms. This applies only to the house charge. Therefore, you can get a 30-minute room for $40 or a 60-minute room for $65 (without the champagne). The dancer is full price. You’re not necessarily getting a bargain.

And the dancer also expects a tip beyond the fee.

Prior to going into the room, you need to determine what will happen and what the dancer will and will not do. Remember that you are purchasing private time with the dancer and that neither Swinging Richards nor the dancer offers sex in exchange for money.

For a bunch of bi, straight and curious guys, exactly what’s going to happen can be very strange.

• Generally, fucking never happens — even for the rare girl who pays for private time. Dancers will not fuck on premises.
• Many dancers struggle to get hard, even with pharmaceutical assistance. Be understanding and you’ll have a better experience.
• Kissing varies from dancer to dancers. Several will not and it’s no negotiable. Some will.
• Generally, dancers will allow you to suck their cocks, especially if you’ve paid for 30 minutes. Many of them prefer that’s what happens.
• You may be able to service other parts of their body, like lick nipples, ass, ears, feet, balls, pits, pecs, etc. But ask first. Some have particular issues, especially with any ass play.
• “Pop offs” or getting a dancer to shoot a load is possible, but only for 30 minutes or more (and promised a tip). If horny enough, dancers might jerk off their own cocks for you. If you suck well enough, dancers might shoot a load (even let you swallow).
• Some dancers will touch your cock through your pants, even grind up against you.
• Unless you pay for 30 minutes or more, your cock will never come out of your pants (and even then it’s unlikely). Again, discuss this with your dancer. Almost all dancers do not jerk you off (much less suck).
• All this said, dancers are there to make sure you have a good time and they’ll let you know what’s going to happen. Be direct and honest.

For all that goes on here, Swinging Richards is not a sleazy destination really. It’s quite clean and upstanding. However, if you really want to feel fucked, understand when you leave, you will. You will be royally screwed in the wallet. You can have a good time here for $100 or a really good time here for $1,000.

I’ve been here enough (I don’t go often) to know what to expect. It’s my fantasy to walk in the door here with a few thousand to burn one night. I might still do it. Eventually.

In the meantime, don’t miss Swinging Richards.

• The Secrets of Swinging Richards