Bathhouse Tips

Tips for Visiting a Gay Bathhouse

I do not, under any circumstance, want to scare you away from going to your first bathhouse experience. They can be really fun. A few things to be aware of from the start. Most bathhouses tend to be in questionable parts of town, so precautions should always be taken. As with any such establishment, theft may occur so be cautious and take care of your belongings (when I first started myself, a thief licking my ass actually picked and chose which of my credit cards to steal).

Another thing, drug use occurs way too often and tweakers can be rampant. I personally think a bathhouse is the exact wrong place to indulge yourself in case the trip goes badly. I’ve seen weird shit go down too often. If things go wrong, the workers will usually just toss your ass out on the street. Tweakers can also be among the worst thieves, especially of cash, valuables, poppers and sex supplies.

Before you go…

1. Shower and clean up thoroughly
2. Clean and trim and be as neat as possible
3. If you’re a bottom or you’re thinking there’s even the most remote possibility you might bottom, douche, douche again, and douche extra deep. Then wait a couple of hours and repeat.

Things to bring with you…

1. Plenty of cash (to get in, snacks, drinks and a cab if you need it to get home or somewhere safe)
2. Driver’s license (yes, you will be required to show one to get in and some places even hold it up front until you leave)
3. A cell phone (some places say they’re not allowed, just hide it; you may need it later when you leave)
4. Poppers & lube (I recommend you bring two small bottles of poppers — because one will get stolen — and several pillow packs of lube)
5. Optionally, you may want to bring sandals if you’re concerned about a little athlete’s foot later (as if that’s the worst thing you could pick up in a bathhouse)

What not to bring…

1. Credit cards or any extra items in your wallet (again, it just puts them at risk to be stolen)
2. Expensive jewelry (target for thieves)
3. Condoms (no need because there’s always plenty of free ones available and around, even if you’re a nazi)
4. An attitude

[box icon=”arrow”]Attitude deserves a special call out. Do not bring one with you to a bathhouse. While there will people you will not want to have sex with, there’s nothing less attractive on a man than the I-am-so-much-better-than-you-because-I-am-buff-beautiful-and-young attitude. Truth is, you’re a sex fiend and you are walking around in a towel looking for dick or ass or mouth or to be pissed on or whatever.

There’s a level of mutual respect in a bathhouse that usually happens and I’ve seen attitude queens get shunned because they’re rude to the trolls.[/alert]

What to wear…

You are observed when you arrive. I prefer the casual jeans, t-shirt, hoodie, sneakers, etc. Again, nothing too expensive in case it gets lost. Oh, and I usually have an extra set of clothes in my car in case the set of clothes inside gets gone somehow.

When you arrive…

You will be asked for your photo ID (driver’s license) and will be required to “join” the private club or purchase a day pass (if they have one). It will be expensive — anywhere from $20 to $50. Then you will have a selection of a locker to different levels of rooms.

Lockers are just that. Just like a health club. All you get is a locker with a lock. You put your clothes and belongings inside it. You do not have a place to go to have sex. You will have sex in a public area or hope that the guy or guys you decide to hook up with have a room. Some bathhouses do not allow sex in public or open spaces, despite the fact they are a bathhouse.

I personally recommend a room for a first-timer. This will give you a retreat away from things. Most basic rooms just have a light-bulb with a small platform, a tiny cushion (not long enough to stretch out on), a pillow and a door that locks. It’s a tiny little room, basically the size of a closet. At the front desk, you are provided with a towel, some linens, a paper bag and a key to the room. Some places will allow you to lock items up front like your cell phone, keys and/or wallet.

(I personally never go cell-phone-less but I’ve never had a problem with the lock box.)

Room options including full size beds (which means if you’re going to spend a long time there, it might be easier to snooze), rooms with television (of course, playing gay porn), rooms with slings and other specialized rooms (massage, medical equipment, etc.). All of these options cost more money.

You are renting the locker or the room for a period of time — eight hours is normal.

If you choose to go with the buddy system and take a friend, you technically cannot “share” a room. To save the most money, one of you needs to buy a locker and the other can buy a room. But I recommend you both buy rooms and ask the host to give you rooms close to one another.

When you arrive, you are expected to go and find you room, remove all your clothing (yes, ALL of it, underwear included) and put the towel on. Then you are basically ready for sex.

A few suggestions…

1. Don’t get your feelings hurt when you’re refused or turned down. Everyone has their types.
2. Don’t be a bitch when a guy who turned you down earlier decides later to take you on.
3. You paid a lot of money to get into this place, so remember that it’s about the journey, not the destination. Don’t try to cum immediately. Just have fun. And if you cum, try to cum a few times before leaving.

Basics on a bathhouse

In general, barebacking is the norm at a bathhouse. Don’t scream at me. It’s true. In all my encounters at bathhouses, I’ve only had one man ever insist on a condom. I see condoms everywhere. In fact, almost every bottom I’ve ever fucked had condoms with him. Men love the appearance that they’re going to be safe. But the truth is men are pigs and that includes our sexual encounters.

If you want to have safe sex and you are a bottom, I recommend you take a spotter or buddy with you to make sure your top stays wrapped and keeps wrapped. I’ve never stealthed at a bathhouse (again, there’s no need to) but I imagine it would be easy.

You will encounter men of all shapes and sizes and races and ages. Believe me, someone for everyone exists at a decent bathhouse on a good night. You may not get your number one choice, but you sure as fuck can have a good time.

Don’t be afraid to step back from a bad experience and move on if you’re not enjoying yourself. It’s okay. If he can’t suck cock and he won’t let me fuck his ass, I move on. Not worth my time. Don’t worry about hurting his feelings. And try not to let yours get hurt. It’s just about the sex.

Different areas in a bathhouse

Of course, each bathhouse is different so it varies. I’ll just highlight a few that I know.

1. The steamroom. Since I wear glasses, this is a room I generally stay away from, but it’s the old fashioned steamed up, hot as hell room. Sex can happen or start here. It’s hard to see (even if you don’t have glasses).
2. The dry sauna. Same as the steamroom but without the steam, so you can see what you’re getting into. I’ve seen plenty of sucking and even a little fucking in the dry sauna. Sweat really lubes up the cock and ass in this space.
3. Showers. Generally, men go here to clean up between encounters or to show off their bodies and big cocks.
4. Exercise room. Really working on my gluts, man. I’ve seen a lot of rooms with equipment but never seen the rooms actually used for anything other than, well, the beginning of hook-ups.
5. Sunbathing area. For those sun-worshipers, it’s an outdoor space for getting a tan (and sometimes smoking). Nude sunbathing is the norm here and sex can start and even finish here, although I’ve only really seen oral.
6. Jacuzzi and/or pool. Come on get soaking wet with other men. Funny thing is I’ve seen more men get funky in the sauna or steamroom than in the jacuzzi/pool. And they always seem to over chlorinate these waters.
7. Mazes. Personally, I find these spaces can be fun if done right. It’s usually a room, painted black with very little light. I saw one with black lights and with painted obscene messages in fluorescent paints. Sometimes there’s gloryholes. Wander through and see if lots of men are cruising around.
8. Dark rooms or “black outs.” Rather than a maze, this is just a room or a hallway that is completely dark. You cannot see who is touching you and they cannot see you. Anything goes here.
9. Dance floor. Yes, I have seen bathhouses where you can cut a rug and dance with you cock out. Not my thing. Don’t ask me.
10. Lounge. No sex here. Usually a nice space with a television, some fake plants and snack machine. It’s a place to take a break.
11. Locker room. For all your fantasies, no sex here. For the cheapest rates at a bathhouse, you rent a locker and you change here and lock up your belongings here.
12. Massage room. Some places will “rent” or loan the room to a “licensed” therapist. His job is to work out your stress, which seems to be in your shoulders, your back, your ass, your asshole, your balls and your cock. When all that stress is finally released all over his hand or the inside of his mouth or ass, you owe him money. Gosh, this place is expensive.
13. Bunk room. For the frugal locker users, they don’t have a place to sleep off the drug-induced crash or the post-ejaculation downer, so some offer this kind of space. Now, I’ve found sometimes hook-ups can start here.
14. Cyber lounge. So there’s not enough men in the bathhouse, check out all the men online and invite them over. Have cybersex online! Yay! Come on dude! Real live human beings with cocks and mouths and assholes nearby. Don’t be so picky.
15. Fetish rooms. Jail cells, medical bays, dungeons, meat locker, rodeo, sling, St. Andrew’s cross, etc. are available. Sometimes these are rooms at a cost, sometimes these are public play areas. Either way, if you have a fantasy, they can happen. I’ve seen each of these.

The different cruisers…

Door wide open, on his back, jerking off to video

Oral bottom 80% chance, anal bottom 60% chance, oral top 30% chance, anal top 40% chance
He wants a good look at you and wants you to get a good look at him. So, if you’re interested, linger in view for a moment. He’ll glance at you a few times. If his attention goes back to the television and ignores you, move on. If not, move to the doorway, rub your crotch. He should begin jerking off more to you than the TV. Again, if at anytime, he goes back to the TV, then move on. Otherwise, open your towel so he can see your inflating cock and move toward him. If he reaches toward it, close the door. If he motions “no” with his hand, move on.

Door wide open, on his stomach, “relaxing”

Anal bottom 100% chance, oral bottom 60% chance, anal top 0% chance, oral top 5% chance
He’s looking to get fucked, obviously. He might be a little picky about who does it. Slow down, approach, step up. If he says, “I’m just taking a break” or “I’m just relaxing,” then move on. That’s code for, “I’m not interested.” If he says nothing, keep getting closer and touch his ass. He’ll likely be extremely passive and you’ll need to guide him to suck if you want sucked.

Door wide open, on his stomach, “asleep”

Anal bottom 100% chance, oral bottom 0% chance, anal top 0% chance, oral top 0% chance
He is looking to get fucked and he is likely already loaded. A few times. He’s not picky (and it’s rare to find these kind of men are good looking or decent looking or anything above fugly). Sometimes they really are asleep, coming down off crystal after being fucked for 12 hours straight. Now I personally love dipping into a preloaded ass — there’s something hot about it — but there’s some places even I won’t go. I let sleeping dogs lie.

Door open, standing in door, naked, relaxed

50%/50% on everything
Eye contact is everything pretty much here on out, so if he’s in the door, he’s ready to invite you in. Just stop near by let him get a good look at you, you get a good look at him, look him in the eye, if he keeps looking at you, approach. Now hopefully he’s not staring at a bizarre birthmark over your left eye or anything. Tweak a nipple or ask in a low voice what he’s interested in. You can glance inside his room to see what’s out. But he’ll tell you what he wants to do. You do the same. Don’t be afraid to move on. Likewise, don’t be afraid to step inside and sample the wares.

Standing along the wall, no place in particular

50%/50% on everything
Again, eye contact matters. (Personally, I think tops tend to roam more and bottoms tend to be more stationary, but that’s not necessarily a rule.) Just like the previous one, watch him for a bit, if he watches you, good eye contact, saddle up to him and start a conversation. “Howzit going today?” or “Any luck so far?”

Wandering around, wearing a towel

50%/50% on everything
Following him will not work. DO NOT STALK. He will slow down if he’s interested in you. Eye contact, eye contact, eye contact. Generally, I monitor his pattern and if he’s headed a route toward where my room is, I’ll conveniently need to stop in my room. I’ll glance over my shoulder toward him repeatedly. If he looks at me and I’m looking at him, the message is received. I’ll leave the door open a crack and he’ll step in behind. Brief exchange of interest then go at it or kick his ass out.

Wandering around, wearing fashionable underwear, towel over shoulder

Bottom 90% chance, top 20% chance, tweaker 75% chance
Where does he store the Tina/crystal bags? In his underwear. He’s hot. He’s out of your league. But if he’s high enough, chances are you can fuck his ass. Just be aware if he’s been doing booty bumps, you might get some on or in your cock. In general, though, I’ve found that these guys run around in pairs and are actually the men selling the drugs.

Stalkers or (worse) stalker trolls

0% chance of anything
These guys just will not leave you alone. They follow. They try to touch. They don’t get the hint that you’re not interested. To get them off my scent, I’ve gone into my room, locked the door and waited for 15 to 20 minutes. If they’re still outside waiting on you to come out, I roll my eyes with a disgusted look on my face, close the door and wait another five. If they’re still waiting, I will be so bold to tell them to fuck off. Drugged up stalkers might make things a little dangerous so it’s not worth it. Just leave.

Couples getting their jollies

10% chance of anything
Seeking to get a little spice in your love life? Well, these couples are. So they go to a bathhouse, open the door and fuck. They want you to watch. They even don’t mind a little touching. But the top will not let anyone else fuck the bottom and the top will not fuck anyone else. That is, unless you’re a couple of leagues above their collective top status. So let’s save the bottom is a seven (on the one-to-ten scale) and the top is a five. The third they might play with would need to be at least an eight (if he’s another top) or a nine. That is, unless he’s really hung and the top is sort of versatile.

Jerkers (or voyeurs)

0% or anything other than bukkake
These are guys just looking to watch. They will wander around until they see something happening and they will stand back and jerk it. They just want to masturbate. They do not want anyone else to play with them.

Tips and tricks

Who has a room and who has a locker? Which did you rent? Your key is on a lanyard or wristband with a certain color. So let’s say you rented a room and it’s a red wristband. As you walk through, you notice a lot of men standing in the hall have a bunch of blue wristbands along with a few reds and a couple of greens. Chances are the blue are locker boys with greens for special rooms.

Between tricks. If you get hot and heavy with anyone, it’s polite to go take a quick rinse off. You don’t have to completely shower off and lather up every inch. But at least get the top layer of cum, spit, sweat and lube off of you.

Dick breath. I always carry a fresh pack of gum that I chew between encounters. I don’t recommend bringing a toothbrush (even for the best mouth hygiene, you could open your gums for bleeding with could introduce your blood or theirs). If you want something stronger than gum, bring a sample of mouthwash.

Using a secret word. If I go with a buddy, I always have a “secret word” that we both know. If either of us use it, it’s an indication of need. Loyal friends will drop what or who he’s doing and run to the rescue. Usually that means going to the other’s room. It really depends on the circumstance and your discussions with your friend.

Shit it out. If you need to shit, go home.

When to go

Of course, weekends are always the best — Friday night until Sunday night. However some surprising times I find works:

  • Mondays: If you didn’t get laid over the weekend and you want it, you’ll end up in the bathhouse on Monday. It’s also convenient to take Monday off from work since it’s next to the weekend.
  • Thursday night: College towns especially will usually have a good night on Thursday. If someone is taking off Friday too and want to kick the weekend off with a good lay, Thursday night is when the weekend begins.

Each town and city is different. Each has a different vibe, a different day or night that might make a different time better or worst. For example, when do the bars close? That’s when the horny men will show up at the bathhouses for a quickie.

Post an ad to Craigslist.org and see what the locals suggest. They will usually steer you the right direction.

What people are searching to find this page::

  • gay sauna tumblr (1052)
  • gay bathhouse tumblr (574)
  • bathhouse tumblr (459)
  • tumblr gay sauna (425)
  • bath house tumblr (306)
  • gay bath house tumblr (279)
  • tumblr bathhouse (185)
  • tumblr gay bathhouse (171)
  • tumblr bath house (106)
  • gay bath tumblr (102)

25 Comments

Cancel

  1. No mention of bathhouse glory holes. Would appreciated hearong about them along with bathhose slurp Rams.

  2. I love this page very accurate and informative. My first bathhouse visit was in salt lake city and it was like finding an amusement park I could go to for free…it wasn’t free but, it was amazing. I gave everyone a chance as I was a strapping 21 year old boy. I fucked myself raw. Second time was the metro spa in Denver. Best place I have seen. All you said and more I plan on going back soon maybe even check out other cities’ bathhouses. Enjoy yourself.

  3. LMAO very informative and oh so true

  4. Mark, you hit the cock on the head. Wait that is supposed to be the nail. Excellent guide and so true. Love b athhouses and sex clubs in thr southern cal area as you have such an eclectic mix of people. Its where I got converted as most men do fuck bareback.

  5. I am amazed at all this bareback talk. Ive been going to bathhouses for years all over the east coast and have never barebacked. The guys I fuck automatically reach for a condom before penetrating. I’ve never had a bathhouse fuckbuddy expect or assume or even suggest barebacking. Never.

  6. I am amazed at all this barebacking talk. I’ve been going to bathhouses in and around NYC for years and have never bare backed, nor has any fuckbuddy I’ve ever been with. I used to be a top but am now mostly a bottom. We all automatically reach for a condom before we penetrate. I’ve never had a bathhouse partner offer or expect or even suggest bareback. Never.

  7. It’s too late for you to grow some fucking balls and just do it. If at 62 you can’t seem to get the guts to go to a bathhouse, give up. Someone cut your balls off a long time ago. Or maybe you castrated yourself.

  8. I am 62 yearsold , ever been to a bath house, yet I am dying to try it. I want to try every thing that goes on there, but I do not have the guts, any suggestions?

  9. An accurate accounting of sex in bath houses. Really excellent.

    You should start a zagots of bars, resorts, bathhouses and bathrooms

    Though its been done before, you write so well.

    Let me know if you do so.

  10. Mark, this post was wonderful. There are a few bathhouses in the NYC area, and I was always reluctant to go there, but I think now I feel more confident to do so.

    Alas, when I AM turned down, I find it difficult to be “un-bitchy.” My immediate response is, “Oh, now you are interested in me? Fuck off, pal!”

    There is a MythAstrological reason for it, but I digress.

    Thanks, for everything, my dear, and have a great weekend.

  11. Where the hell were you 15 to 20yrs ago! So much time could’ve been made usefull.

  12. That’s why God created Google.

  13. Are there any bath houses around Boston

  14. This guide was super helpful and completely accurate…. I went to
    Steamworks in SF and had a great experience. It was my first time at a bath house, and your guide helped me know exactly what to do and what people meant. I sucked a lot of cock and took multiple loads in my ass. 🙂 yes I left happy. I couldda easily stayed another 2 hrs and taken a LOT more.

    so, THANK YOU!!!

    – satisfied cum hole in SF

  15. I about laughed out loud when you described the guys walking around in fashionable underwear because that’s me, maybe I look out of your league but I’m so fucking high if I’m at the baths I will fuck nearly anyone. Good article and look forward to reading more.

  16. very useful article. thanks for posting!

  17. I loved this guide, where I live some things are very different than the ones you described but in general I’m going to adapt your tips to my routine as I seemed to be somehow lost in what to do at the bath house.

    I always go with my partner and I’m a total pig, I’m only a little picky with cocks because I like large but ultimately is my partner the one who chooses for me as he has great at it and always brings the most horny and hot men closer to me. (And he’s got a cock I love to suck at home every time I can )

    Then we go have a beer, relax, take a dip in the jacuzzi or pool and then go back to the maze or saunas or rooms… here rooms are free and they’re also small as a closet and they’re provided with cleaning facilities as paper towels and disinfectant if required.

    I also loved the cruiser code, is so clear and easy!

    So now I want to go to the baths tomorrow and I’ll take your tips with me!!! can’t wait!!!

    and in the end i’m not perfect, i’m a pig i’m good looking and guys say i’m hot hot but what matters is being easy going and have a great time 😉

    M.

  18. As an HIV- vers gay man who desperately wants to bareback, take numerous loads and give them, I love your blog. I play safely because I want to stay neg as much as I can. But…that doesn’t mean I can’t dream and love all the BB sites. I have been a member of the Denver Swim Club for more than 10 years. Picked up crabs once but amazingly nothing else. City of Denver Health has free STD-HIV testing 3x week.

    I’m a decently built, non-troll 50 yo so of course I have to get my cock and ass in person as no one online will play with anyone over 50. Anyway, our club is really pretty nice; a couple of pools, orgy room, hot tub, steam room, blow job bar. Generally people are very nice. I would say the ratio of bareback sex is 50-50. People don’t seem to mind to be asked to use condoms and there is usually a lot of evidence they are used lying around. The biggest crowds are on weekend days and when the bars let out at night for the younger group.

    Last Saturday afternoon I went to steam bath (no dry sauna) where I always go to get rolling because it’s the fastest and hottest area for sex. It’s just barely light enough to see what you might be interested in. All it takes is a look, or crotch stare or a touch to get going. I went to the darkest corner where all the hot stuff goes on and instantly a masculine, hairy bear body beautiful guy leaves the big dick he’s sucking and starts deepthroating my modest but thick 7 inches. He had a way about him, and we started “taking advantage” of him, with the big dicked guy bare fucking him from behind while sub-hairy-macho guy blew me. This went on crazily for 15 minutes and then I left the steam to quickly grab a condom. He didn’t need lube. When I returned, I said, “My turn.” And the bottom squealed and bent over and offered his ass, which at least the crack was shaved. I put on the condom and began banging that bitch like it was no tomorrow. He was sucking every cock offered while being spit roasted.

    Then the role-playing started, which you didn’t cover above. When we instructed him to suck cock, any cock, he’d say, “Yes sir!! I can’t watch the Broncos game today until I suck every cock in the place, sir.” I kept the role playing up for two more hours, making him my personal whore boy. If he didn’t deepthroat, I grabbed his ears and shoved my cock down it, all the time him squealing with delight. “Fuck this bitch!” I’d yell. “Or he can’t watch the game today.” Guys were lined up, no kidding. Many of them bareback, me still using a condom when I fucked him in different rooms in the place. Despite being late 40s, this guy was worked out and had the slimmest, muscular ass. One of the commands I made to him was to “Milk my cock!” which i said very loudly so everyone could hear. And he would, what a fucking bottom. I could feel his ass muscles clench on my dick and not just in the opening of his butt. Another funny saying that came out was, “God I just turned around and here you are with a different cock in your mouth and your ass. You little bitch.” And always he would say, “I’m a slut bitch, sir.”

    Between one of our fuck sessions I said to him, “I assume you’re poz and non-measurable T-levels?” He said yes. I said I was sorry I had to use a condom and he was very polite and said, “No problem at all, I understand.”

    Anyway, just my take on one of the hottest sexual times I’ve ever had. That hot little bitch did throat me for a long time. I guess if I get the virus from that, it wouldn’t be worth it but memorable.

  19. i don’t shower between tricks. (i’m a bottom.) i like being dirty. in fact, the more of his cum and sweat and spit i get on me, the better.

  20. Great article that is 99% correct. My BF and I love to go to the bath house to play with others. We like to get a big room and have group suck & fucks. The BF loves watching me take loads and then mixing his load with the others in my ass. Good Times!

  21. I found your blog today while cruising around online, and I have to second Stefan’s comment that this is really one of the best bathhouse guides I’ve ever seen online.

    My partner and I have only been to one bathhouse since we’ve been together (Steamworks in Chicago) and your “Couples getting their jollies” description made me laugh out loud. We went to Steamworks – and go to some adult bookstores near us – to play with others, not to show off, and good lord I hope we don’t come across as that picky! But it was funny nonetheless.

    I agree that the norm at a bathhouse appears to be barebacking. Although I find it hot, we don’t do it for what should be obvious reasons. I think that was really sane advice you gave though about a “spotter”. Plus, it’s helpful if you’re not drunk or high. Just a thought.

  22. u know, the last guy, Josh…..said exactly what i was going to say. i really like to play passive –to just lie there and get loaded. i used to be afraid i’d get hurt, maybe some guy who was too big or too rough, but in the last 2 or 3 years I’m finding something super intense about taking loads from a bunch of guys. it seems like, after the first 2 or 3 guys have cum in my ass, it gets me crazy and excited, but also seems to make a smell, or something, that other guys can sense, so the next couple of guys follow quickly. i get very into the variety of fucking styles and it can be really a lot of fun. i understand what you mean about some guys being not great looking, but that’s hardly a rule. i think guys care about what your ass looks feels like. and if they want to get sucked first, they expect you to be good at sucking cock. but once their cocks slide into you lubed by someone’s cum, it gets down to some pretty primitive instincts without much reference to appearance, one way or the other.
    good description and guide, very accurate. you’re right about monday nights… many horny guys.

  23. This must be the nicest and comprehensive written guide to bathhouses, so I would really like to use your text and link to it from several blogs of my network. If you allow so!

  24. I’ve seen you, Josh. You are, indeed, far from ugly. Consider me re-evaluating.

  25. Great article fella, but i have to pull you up that all bottoms who just lie there to get loaded with cum from any randoms are never better looking than fugly.

    I’m a bottom that fits that description, but im far from ugly. Not a model, but sure as hell not ugly. I think you need to re-evaluate – just cos a guy’s lying there letting anyone fuck him full of spunk…. doesnt mean they’re going to be ugly.

    Other than that, great article…