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Dune… Desert Planet… Dry Spell While I’m Working to Find a New Job. Anyone Care to Help?

I've been on a bit of a dry spell
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Coincidental that I’m rereading the Frank Herbert classic Dune and experiencing a dry spell at the same time.

Truth is I could get more ass if I tried but here lately, my focus as been finding another job — not that any of you give a shit about my mundane life. If you want to read about sex, go search some sex term or skip to another entry.

Help Me Find a New Job

For those of you who don’t know, I’m in marketing with a digital emphasis. I can do it all and am at a senior level. I’m just about ready to jump into a vice president role somewhere. If you know of anything out there, please let me know Opens a new window from this blog.

My career includes extraordinary work and let’s just say I know what I’m doing (after all, I am the man who established the #BBBH hashtag on Twitter). This blog is about my sexual escapades and I wouldn’t mind working in the sex industry or along the fringes. That said, I never have and I enjoy working in a more traditional medium. In fact, I’ve worked in computers, electronics, media, healthcare and manufacturing.

If you’ve ever heard the overly trite phrase “thinking outside the box,” I don’t even see a box. My creative ideas take great risks and almost always come with phenomenal rewards. Some of my results were so astounding that the manufacturing company for which I worked had a six-month backlog after a two-week promotion I ran. The company also went from no presence in social media to first place in its marketplace in less than a year.

Other highlights of my work…

  • Strong branding development and strategy throughout my career.
  • (Obviously) terrific writing, communication and adept at presentations (PowerPoint, Keynote, etc.).
  • Built multiple mobile applications for smart phones with fun and practical applications to further the brand.
  • Integrated the use of QR codes in retail point-of-presence materials and print advertisements.
  • Built and launched more than 500 websites — from tiny sites to blogs to personalized, database-driven, mammoth sites; always made sure those websites work with mobile browsers on tablets and phones; many websites are content management system-based and I’ve trained personnel how to best use the website.
  • Developed international websites with multiple languages using automatic detection of geographic location for best possible visitor experience.
  • Provided guidance through the basic discovery and design process including information architecture and search engine optimization (SEO) for websites.
  • Created strategies, especially for online growth. One consumer website grew from 1.1 million to 2 million visitors in one year using a combination of SEO, search engine marketing (SEM), microsites and social media.
  • Trained thousands of retailers in online marketing techniques to further their relationship with current consumer trends, bringing more consumers onto websites and into stores, significantly improving sales.
  • Developed and executed massive campaigns with multi-tiered aspects utilizing several third-party companies and hundreds of personnel successfully.
  • Ran public relations efforts including national satellite media tours.
  • Cast television personalities as spokespeople for brands successfully, maintaining multiple years in developing television commercials and online presence.
  • Developed YouTube channel for brand that now draws more than 300 viewers every day only two years after establishment.
  • Created unique social media approach taking a company from non-existent to first place in its marketplace category in about six months.
  • Flawless execution of events and convention, maintaining branding and delivering excitement.
  • Creative SEM and online advertising including conquesting and other strategies to best deliver new potential customers.
  • Developed web and social media syndication systems for major brands to help allow multilevel messaging from corporate to local.
  • Integrated all digital marketing aspects with traditional advertising for maximum boost to any campaign and seamless unification.
Okay, maybe that’s plenty to highlight my work. I’ve done a lot in my career and I’ve got a lot more I can do.

Sexual Harassment Positions Welcomed

You want to be my boss and get my cock and cum on occasion? I don’t mind. I’m glad to provide.

We can be colleagues and I’ll even fuck you.

I’m someone who doesn’t let sex get in the way of work. In fact, it would be great to have an on-site fuck or someone I travel with on occasion and we can fuck around together or just be each other’s wing-man.

I’m also willing to move practically anywhere in the U.S., Canada or the U.K. for a job. I’ll consider other parts of the world like Australia but not sure about non-English speaking or intolerant parts of the planet like the Middle East (for some reason, a lot of marketing jobs seem to be opening up there). Still, if it’s the right opportunity and the right fit, I’ll take it.

Now, Why I’m Looking for a New Job

Venting Here, So You May Want to Skip This Part

You might recall I was out of work for just three days short of a year when I finally got this job. A position with much promise and a fuckload of travel including visits to the San Francisco Bay area. That part I loved.

However, promises made to me were not promises kept.

Here comes some venting… something I really can’t put anywhere else.

My direct supervisor is not well liked among colleagues, although the C-level seems to approve. All of those colleagues — to whom I had responsibilities — made my work a living hell since they dislike my supervisor. One of my staff members appears to have had an inappropriate relationship with my supervisor and therefore refused to report to me.

Despite gallant efforts on my own part, I could never seem to get the management group to align with any concept on the most basic level. This meant that I couldn’t get all the managers to agree to a single branding message.

I made superb headway with the company website in a short period, increasing qualified visitors and decreasing a lot of the folks who came by mistake. The company purchases a lot of Google pay-per-click ads and I’d made significant headway in improving those results, making sure the clicks resulted in legitimate, potential customers rather than wasting between $2.50 to $14 per click. Before I arrived, some months more than 90 percent of the monthly online ad budget was wasted on bogus clicks. In two months, I’d gotten it down to less than 53 percent and it was dropping further.

Despite this empirical evidence, all the managers began freaking out when less people were clicking through — even though each click turned out to be a more qualified person. In other words, they’d rather see 1,000 clicks where less than 10 percent would be a potential customer instead of 600 clicks where 47 percent might make a sales inquiry.

Between that and the pure hatred between my supervisor and pretty much everyone else, and I had no chance to survive.

I haven’t lost my job, but I see the handwriting. It’s funny how everyone outside the situation can see my competence and respect my skills and experience. Seems to me anyone who has two decades under his or her belt brings something to the table. Everyone within my circle of influence doesn’t give a shit.

Therefore, yet another refresh on my resume and pinging all the recruiters again. Keeping my finger crossed this won’t be another 12-month ordeal since the handwriting is pretty damn plain and I likely won’t last that long.

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Travel Diary: My First Scruff Fuck

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Despite the promise of these new smart phone applications, neither Scruff nor Grindr net me much ass. Generally, I find them somewhere between mildly entertaining and irritating, as the guys on there generally want photos, photos and more photos. One bottom near me in Georgia can’t seem to recall what I look like despite the fucking full-frontal face pic on the front of my profile.

For some reason, one day in Vegas, my Scruff was simply blowing up. Grindr also worked, although what I got was a cute lady-boy escort (in male drag) hinting he wanted “dinner and conversation.” I declined. The pancake makeup with the petroleum jelly lens effect on his photo was just too much. If I wanted to fuck a girl, I’d fuck a girl. I don’t.

So on Scruff, which seems a less twinkie place, presented a Montana man for me, I got the urge to merge.

He stood on the beefy side of things, which proved fine by me. He was just a couple of hotels over — still a hike in Vegas, but close enough — with wavy brown hair and a goatee, standing tall as me but with wider shoulders.

We shook hands then proceeded to kiss and strip quickly. Right down to business. I imagine the men at home in the mountains were just as quick to fuck.

He laid on the edge of the bed, his head over it and positioned my cock to fuck his face. I was already hard so no problem there. I worked my knob down his throat but he never even made a gagging noise and, after the first few penetrations, his throat opened up like a charm.

After slobbering all over, I pulled completely out and he got the message, flipping over and presenting his ass. I lubed up just enough and entered his slowly, as his ass was very tight. We’d not discussed condoms, safe sex or anything else.

As I rode his ass, he grunted in pleasure. He enjoyed it.

“Damn that feels so good!” he said. “Fuck it as long as you want!”

“I will.”

“Just make sure I get what I came here for,” he said.

“And what’s that?” I asked.

“A big load in my ass,” he said.

Now that made my cock jump too.

“You want my load?” I asked.

“Oh yea!” he said. “Please breed my fucking hole!”

Of course that begging puts me on a path and before long, I was arching my back and plunging my back into his tenderloin mounds, giving him a marination of my massive DNA like no other cowboy from his parts had gotten.

“Oh fuck!”

I added several more thrusts to assure my juices penetrated deep before pulling out. And he headed home to his corral, feeling okay.

Travel Diary: Aliens Live Here

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Okay, so I’m sure folks who live here are tired of hearing the stories of the aliens who live ‘neath the airport, but I just find it fascinating that anyone would consider such a theory possible. Nonetheless, Google it if you don’t believe me (“Aliens underground Denver International” works just fine).

So my travels brought me to the Mile-High City and I remain hopeful, with a third of my time here over and done, that within the next few hours, someone will turn up at my hotel to receive a little of my own out-of-state DNA. I’ve got a fresh bottle of poppers and a half-hard cock that’s craving some Rocky Mountain ass.

Wish me luck.