Category Archives: Undetectable

The #BBBH Belongs to No One

Some of you don’t give a shit about this internal raging debate. I wish I didn’t need to write this posting.

The Bareback Brotherhood is a movement formed out of the necessity of confusion. What does it mean to be a barebacker? Can one be a serosorting, monogamous-only cum-hound? Or does being a barebacker mean bug-chasing, stealth-advocating, anonymous fuckers only?

The answer is yes. And no.

To bareback means both, all of the above and none of it. Whatever one thinks about barebacking, you’ve limited yourself.

When we formed the Bareback Brotherhood and I coined the hashtag #BBBH and phrase, we did so with the understanding that it was for the freedom of that very sense of what it means to be a barebacker. For far too long, the safe sex Nazis had defined fucking as a plastic barrier between men.

We needed to remove the barrier and show that men could choose another path. That choice was one that men could make. It says so on our website: “We agree on one thing — sex between men without barriers is natural and a legitimate choice. As consenting adults, skin-to-skin intimacy should be a choice that is not demonized or marginalized.”

The Attacks of RawTop

RawTop runs the website BreedingZone.com, which has carried an RSS feed of my blog and many other bareback bloggers. If you visit BreedingZone or RawTop’s blog, one is bombarded with porn advertisements, which he says are a convenience.

On Sunday, RawTop e-mailed me and told me he’d purchased BBBH.com and planned to build a hook-up website to compete with BarebackRT.com. In exchange for my (and other BBBH cofounders endorsement), we’d get free “recognition and enhanced memberships” on the site along with t-shirts.

I entertained the notion. I’ve made no secret that the cyber attacks have continued on this and the BBBH website has cost me time and money I  simply do not have.

At the same time, though, RawTop posted on BreedingZone that I’m “so focused on stealthing” that it’s tainted the BBBH brand. He told me he’d need to write very clearly on his hook-up site that stealthing it was a position he did not advocate, he didn’t like and that he would separate himself and the “brand” from me.

While I couldn’t give a shit about what RawTop thinks about me, what I didn’t like was how he would take the #BBBH and begin to define it.

In other words, RawTop would begin to restrict what it meant to be in the #BBBH movement. Despite his own BreedingZone includes strings of conversation in “The Backroom” for gift-giving and bug-chasing that includes a lot of stealthing content.

Some Barebackers Will Not Be Welcome at BBBH.com

Would RawTop prevent bug-chasers or gift-givers fr0m joining? The answer is yes.

I suggested that RawTop turn BreedingZone.com into a hook-up site rather than attempting to take over the #BBBH brand.

He wrote me: “All the bug chasing discussion on Breeding Zone turns off a lot of people. It’s a bit tainted in that way – too many people don’t want to be associated with bug chasing so Breeding Zone can’t effectively be turned into a hookup site.”

In other words, if you advocate certain positions, you will not be welcomed at BBBH.com.

That directly opposes the founding principals of the #BBBH.

It is for this reason I cannot advocate, endorse and, in fact, I must oppose the development of this website. The #BBBH is all encompassing when it comes to skin-to-skin contact.

What next? No Poz barebackers allowed? Would one be required to submit proof of one’s status on the new and improved BBBH.com to have an enhanced profile? Maybe only neg guys could see other neg guys?

Perhaps RawTop could connect directly with local labs and get a CD4 and viral load count so Undetectables won’t mix with Poz. Maybe we’ll check your meds.

RawTop Wants Your Money

“To be clear – I make my money off the bareback community,” he wrote me.

To be clear, I don’t make any money off the bareback community. If you’ve logged onto BBBH.me, you’ll notice I’ve got a complete hands-off approach. I also don’t write about stealthing there. There’s no ads there.

The Bareback Brotherhood is one without restrictions, without plastic, without barriers. And RawTop is putting them in place. He is saying that certain people will not be welcomed on his new site, although I imagine his greed will eventually allow him to accept the funds from them before he kicks them to the curb.

The #BBBH Cannot Belong to Him

As I explained to RawTop, BBBH is a movement like Occupy Wall Street. It has custodians, sure. We are here to make sure no one profits from the movement.

A porn company recently contacted me, asking if they could do a video named #BBBH. I explained to the producers, each of them could be members of the #BBBH, as could the actors. We’d welcome that. But a video of that name would prove limiting to the ideals for which the Brotherhood stands.

The producers respected that and did not name the video.

This is just one example of many to set a precedence that the #BBBH cannot become the solely owned hook-up domain of RawTop.

I Did Not Want This

This is where I supposedly “threatened” a lawsuit. I just suggested that he might do better to invest in a different effort, not taking the brand built by so many brothers using our hashtag.

RawTop moved this debate into the public forum. I didn’t. I do not relish this battle. No one wins when the bareback community battles. Just because I don’t want the #BBBH to back a commercial venture against BarebackRT.com seems bizarre.

I can hope that RawTop steps back and thinks carefully about his impact on the overall community rather than how to line his pockets with more.

As he said, “To be clear – I make my money off the bareback community.”

To be clear, I don’t.

What do you think about this?

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Stealthing, Stealth, Stealth Fucking

Q&A: Just Pozzed Out and My Viral Load Is High. Should I Continue to Stealth?

Occasionally, I get e-mails from my readers asking questions. With permission, I answer them here.

 

QuestionI love your blog and your stories. I’m a versatile and sometimes get fucked and sometimes do the fucking. I since I’ve hit 30, I just really couldn’t stand using the condoms any more. But some guys insisted.

Then I found your blog. And read all about the whole stealth thing.

I get your point. You wrote about it as a warning to guys but you know, a lot of people are dumb and all. I had to get the cum in my ass and I needed to breed too. I made lots of condoms with pinprick holes. I always had condoms on me. Fuck, I even had friends ask me and I gave them away. I’ve left them around sleazy gay bars.

I finally got a poz test, which doesn’t bother me at all. Barebacking is a hotter experience now. Now I really think I’m breeding a guy and it’s taking hold.

My viral load is high. Man, I’m toxic, with millions swimming in me. I’m trying to decide if I want to go on meds or just continue to fuck my way through the world for a while.

But I’m having second thoughts about stealthing or slipping one of my special condoms on a top fucking me.

What would you do?

 

AThe question is where you meet these potential fucks.

There’s this hideous gasp among some fags that an anonymous hook-up should be an honest exchange of information and despite the numerous dishonest exchange about age, weight, etc. prior to someone’s dick going in someone else’s mouth, it’s some sort of cardinal sin if a condom isn’t used.

Never mind how we kill ourselves with crystal meth, smoking and booze.

But those choices are addictions and diseases while bareback fucking is wrong, wrong, wrong!

In my opinion, you should go on meds. Anything to keep more bareback fuckers fucking, I’m in favor. It’s between you and your doctor how aggressive  you want to be with the millions of friends you’ve got swimming around inside you now.

(And for any chasers, let me know who you are and I’ll consider sharing my toxic buddy’s info with you — with his permission — share his with you. You might want to include a pic.)

When I stealth, it’s usually a place like an adult bookstore or sex club. I was just there the other day and the fucking bottom I slipped my cock into pulled me out and insisted I wear a condom.

He didn’t provide one, mind you. I needed one.

I provided one. And he got a nice ride out of it and I got what I wanted. Interestingly enough, he kept checking to see if the condom was on, so I couldn’t rip it off. I didn’t need to do so because the fucker missed the point.

You want to be “safe,” you control the scene.

I brought my own “condoms,”  which in the darkened room he couldn’t see each one lacked the full tip (not just the pinhole prick you use).

Guess what fucker? You were loaded!

Now this little tweaker, who was in a darkroom and never saw me or anyone else who fucked his hole. If I know what goes down in these dastardly places, I also wasn’t the only one to stealth that day.

Let’s discuss the logistics of the whole thing.

The guy I fucked was a slut. And while there’s plenty of DNA evidence in his ass, who’s to say the condom didn’t fail or, despite my words here, he didn’t give me a condom that was broken and I was the one duped. As we both know, that’s a possibility as well.

If you’re inviting men over to your place and fucking them at your house… well, that’s just another story. I’d personally never use the broken condom bit in private one-on-one condom bit.

Spike-ItThat said, I have (on occasion) not honored the request to “pull out” in a timely manner. If the bottom is stupid to let me inside to play, I’m going to finish the game and score the touchdown. Truth is, most of the time they end up begging for it there anyway.

I’d also be a little careful about distributing sabotaged condoms. Anyone to simply pickup free condoms and expect them to work are stupid, but your fingerprints are probably on them and, well, I’d hate for some vengeful faggot to track you down (and in your city, they would).

After all this chatter, let’s boil it down:

Yes, Do…

  • Fuck raw. If the opportunity presents itself, fuck raw.
  • Go on meds. 
  • While you’re toxic, seek out chasers and gift. 
  • Stealth in sleazy places where bareback sex is the norm.
  • Stealth as a bottom.

No, Don’t…

  • Distribute sabotaged condoms anymore anywhere. 
  • Stealth as a top in one-on-one hook-ups

Best of luck and enjoy your new status. And don’t let the Aryan bastards get you down.

 

I love the occasional questions, so please send them along to iblastinside@gmail.com.

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Q&A: Can His Poz (But Undetectable) Load Go into My Neg Ass and I Stay Neg?

Q&A: Can His Poz (But Undetectable) Load Go into My Neg Ass and I Stay Neg?

QuestionI love reading your blog! Not only is it hotter than fuck, but it’s also super informative.

My partner and I are both in our 40s. He’s poz, I’m neg. Recently, after almost a decade together, we started fucking bareback.

When I fuck him, I don’t use a condom and I cum inside him.

When he fucks me (which is more frequent) he pulls out and cums on my ass. I’d love for him to cum inside me but he won’t do it. He doesn’t want to be responsible for making me poz.

His viral load has been undetectable for years.

What are the risks to me if he were to cum inside me? I really want his load in me.

Your blog rocks!

AnswerKudos on you two sharing your DNA! Well, one of you is sharing yours, actually. You really want his and to experience jizzjoy Open-New-Window-External.

I’m going to give you the skinny first with a couple of alternatives.

What Your Doctor Might Say…

What the fuck do you think you’re doing? Slap that condom on both of you and forget about it.

The Drug Route

Serodiscordant Open-New-Window-External couples, as a physician would call you, makes the negative partner a perfect candidate for prophylaxis Truvada Open-New-Window-External regimen, which means you’d take the antiviral as a precaution against getting HIV.

It’s an expensive choice and, in some cases, your insurance may not cover it since it’s just preventative. Plus, you may or may not suffer side effects of the drug.

Now for what I really think.

And part of me wants to take you both, slap you up side the head and then have your partner fuck you and teach you, as a bottom, how to make sure that fucking load ends up with it belongs.

You’re both already doing everything else.

When You Fuck Your Boyfriend

Let me paint a picture.

Micron-DickThis is your cock in the photo your provided to the right. It is 8 inches long and 4 inches around.

Now because HIV is a little bugger, I’m just (for fuck’s sake) going to convert inches into millimeters because that’s the smallest measurement we all think of in our daily lives (but you’re going to be proud because your cock is going to sound huge).

Your cock is 203 mm long and 102 mm around.

The approximate surface area of your cock is 24,000 square millimeters (if your cock were a perfect cylinder, and that calculation skips the base).

That much surface area is going into the HIV-rich juices of your boyfriend’s ass every time you fuck him. Every time. Deep in his gut.

Visualize that for a moment. The smallest skin cut gives a route into your skin.

Now to get really fucking real, HIV is 10,000 times smaller than a millimeter. HIV is about 0.1 micron. In other words, if we were to measure the area of your cock in microns, that would be 24 million square microns. And each square micron could give 100 bugs to pass through at any given time.

Let’s multiply that out even more and say that the “holes” available for HIV to invade your body just through your cock’s surface area alone is something like 2.4 billion.

But so far, you haven’t gotten it.

It’s not like you’re not risking getting it when you fuck him.

When Your Boyfriend Tops You

Has he put a cork in his cock? Has he assured there’s no precum slipping out through that pee-hole?

I’ve never gotten the whole “pulling out” bullshit, which is why I blast inside (sorry, couldn’t resist).

Now he’s inside you, pumping away. Your most vulnerable moments are when you first stretch out and microfissures can open up in the linings of the colon. The colon offers lots of opportunity to transfer bodily fluids both ways, but of course the bottom is receiving.

As he’s fucking you in those early stages, he is grinding his fluids into your ass and into whatever openings are there. You’re getting his precum, his spit, his sweat, left over piss, and pretty much anything else between the two of you anyway.

Take those same measurements and of his cock and you can take the amount of your interior skin being exposed to his fluids through that touch.

I’m skipping your oral activity and the debatable kissing and other fun stuff. And I didn’t even bother to suggest there might be something a little more kinky going on.

Here’s the Point

If you were to become poz, it likely would have already happened. But let me make the logical point.

Your boyfriend’s viral load — the amount of the virus in his blood — is undetectable. I can’t stress this enough. Tests can’t detect it.

I know it’s not an exact congruence, but it’s like HIV has gone into remission. It’s hiding. It’s somewhere in the body, but you just don’t know where it is or when and where it will likely turn up.

While there’s a chance that it could change at anytime and reemerge, for now he’s essentially negative.

You’re both basically seroconcordant Open-New-Window-External.

Either fuck or don’t. I personally say fuck. Your boyfriend needs to understand that you can just as easily become HIV-positive by what you’re currently doing if the virus decides to return. But tomorrow there could be an earthquake or an asteroid or a car wreck. I’m not suggesting you live your life as if you’ll die tomorrow. I’m suggesting you live your life as if the traffic light is on green all the time, not yellow.

Postscript

You do need to be prepared for the possibility of conversion Open-New-Window-External, even if you keep fucking the same way you are now. And while I wouldn’t pretend to know the nature of your relationship, I am betting you don’t have a problem with being poz. He’s not hearing you right now because he sees the prejudice that being positive brings among gays.

I want that to stop as much as you do. My point of all this was to make it clear that you both are lucky to have found one another. It’s a wonderful thing to share and your partner needs to stop feeling guilty that he might expose you to something that you’re exposed to already.

It’s a choice you’ve both made to share. I think it’s wonderful.

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Mark Bentson aka iBLASTinside welcomes getting messages from his readers and loves answering them. Send a message to iBLASTinside@gmail.com mailbox_full or hit him up on his contact page Opens new window of a page on this blog.

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John Perez

Escort Bareback Confessions: Fucking-Hot, Beefy, Boston Escort Takes & Gives Loads

John Peréz Opens new window of a page on this blog is just hot.

iBLASTinside's Escort Bareback ConfessionsI’m shallow enough to admit sometimes I’m just turned on by a photo.

I caught a tweet from him @GreaterBosJock Follow on Twitter that used the Bareback Brotherhood hashtag #BBBH, but his avatar gave me the start to check out his bio, which linked me over to his  RentBoy.com profile Link Opens in a New Window. But that said he doesn’t bareback.

Bullshit.

“I did a small experiment about two years ago where I put not safe or sometimes safe and I get less of a response in my ad,” John explains. “I think in this day, people don’t want to admit they’re into barebacking to the the public.  So I choose to put safe sex only. But if you read my ad, you’re able to pick up on I prefer bareback.”

Not only does this reformed straight man (yes, he was once married to a woman) prefer it skin-to-skin, he finds almost all his clients go raw.

“I love, love, love to bareback!” he told me. “And I definitely do experience jizzjoy Link Opens in a New Window sensation” when I get fucked.

The 26-year-old escort in Boston, who’s now out as gay, gladly breeds any ass and will take cum from HIV-negative and positive-but-undetectable clients.

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Learn more and see more about the latest bareback escort in his profile, now live at http://bbak.me/GreaterBostonJock Opens new window of a page on this blog.

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Q&A: Truth Inside the Truth & the Truth When It Should Be a Lie

Q&A: Truth Inside the Truth & the Truth When It Should Be a Lie

Grindr-Hate-MessageHIV is a stigma. Don’t ask me. Ask someone who has it. Ask anyone who’s bold enough to actually put on their Grindr, Manhunt or Scruff profile that their Poz and see what happens. Here’s an example I used earlier of a friend of mine on Grindr who was messages for his profile which honestly revealed he’s Poz Opens new window of a page on this blog.

It’s bullshit.

Lately, I’ve gotten a couple of questions from readers who had issues involving Poz men, one making me think of this particular bias. I thought both were particularly telling and deserved to be told. Forgive me for sharing because I didn’t exactly ask these gentlemen’s permission, but I think I’ve averted anything devastating and I’m obscuring their identities.

Truth Inside the Truth:
Who Should Fuck Me, Poz or Undetectable?

QuestionI had only ever barebacked with boyfriends…. But I’m feeling that total slutty sex itch from deep within my hole and I kind of want to try bareback with a total stranger. Let’s face it: it was fucking hot, man! So, I joined BarebackRT.com Open-New-Window-External.

The first couple of days the only hits I got were from guys in the country and a couple of men in my home state, but several hundred miles away.

Today, I got hit up by two VERY hung tops, both within five miles of my home. One top says, “Undetectable.” The other says, “Positive.”

I really want to give it up again and I really want it to be raw, but  their status just scares me.

I almost hope I had never even looked at their status. I don’t know. I wonder if I would have even cared had I not known.

Which leads me to question whether or not I’m ready… A big part of me says, “Fuck it! Let’s do it!” But the other me says, “No.”

Advice?

(Give your own answer! Scroll to the survey below Scroll Down.)

 

AnswerYou need to ease into this world you’re exploring. So much of what you’re been conditioned is that HIV Poz is bad and you’ll die if you get it. No matter how much you logically know that’s not true, you still have this embedded conditioning — and almost Pavlovian response — that creates and illogical fear of bareback sex.

It just isn’t true.

So let’s just break through this with a little more logic.

Men who are undetectable have technically at one point been exposed to HIV. However, their antiviral cocktails have been so effective that it’s resulted in repressing the virus so far down that a blood test cannot detect it.

Basically, these guys are now neg again.

HIV hasn’t disappeared from the body. However, the main route by which the the virus is transmitted lacks it.

Your chances of getting infected by an undetectable man are more than likely less than a man who claims he’s neg. Here’s why:

Neg men aren’t really that religious and consistent about having themselves checked for HIV and other sexually transmitted infections. Neg men really don’t have a doctor hovering over blood tests to check all their levels and call them when a six-month test is missed.

HIV-neg men aren’t even notified or bothered about their next test by most gay doctors. And that’s the sexually active men who’ve bothered to tell their doctors they bareback.

Fuck, mine doesn’t even know I go raw. He lectures me but just assumes I’m using condoms.

You are so much safer with undetectable on a cocktail. There’s no guarantees. But just fuck it and go for it. You’ll be glad you did. Then in about six weeks, set up an appointment and keep it every three to six months.

Eventually, the guilt fades and your fear response will die down and you’ll just remember the fun.

 

Truth When It Should Be a Lie:
He Said, ‘Fuck Off, I Don’t Fuck Poz Bottoms!’

I get on Scruff and meet this fucking hot thirtysomething. We get to chatting and, bonus of all bonuses, he takes cock raw and tells me it’s his policy for the top not to pull out. I assure him that iBLASTinside (and he doesn’t get it — obviously, not a reader).

He can’t wait for me to fuck him bit I’m sort of booked for the afternoon when he says he only gets fucked twice a year.

“Twice a year?” I question. “You surely get fucked a lot more than that. You’re really hot.”

Well, he explains the Poz thing turns men off. And he’s a bit of a stickler on being honest and up front. He refuses to use a condom so he gets told more often to “fuck off” rather than to “get fucked.”

He doesn’t exactly ask a question, but it ends up I give him a bit of advice.

(Give your own answer! Scroll to the survey below Scroll Down.)

Answer(for advice) As it turns out, you’ve recently tested “undetectable.” This means that if the traditional HIV tests were run at this time, the virus could not be found in your blood — you’d appear essentially “negative” to people. 

At one point, you appeared positive, but if you said, “In my most recent tests, I came out ‘negative,’ you technically would not be lying.” This is especially true since you will be acting as the bottom.

I understand you have a conscious and you feel telling these random hook-ups — and that’s what they are — a random hook-up — that you’re negative and you’ve actually tested positive at one point may be considered a lie. But the risk you present to these slutty barebackers is almost non-existent.

Like I say above, it’s more risky for these guys to have sex with men who believe they’re neg but aren’t being tested all that often.

It is their own bias that drives them to say, “No” to you when chances are, several of the supposed “neg” guys aren’t neg at all. You’re safer to fuck than any of them.

Further, let’s look at it in another direction:

Let’s say your grandfather on your mother’s side was black. You look white. But the guy has one of those racist profiles that say, “Not into black guys. Sorry. Just how I am.” Technically, dude, you are a little black. Now he messages you because you look white. You’re attracted to him. You pass as white.

But the truth is, you are part black.

Do you tell him you’re black?

It’s not going to hurt him not to know. In fact, it might be a lot of fun.

What Do You Think?

Now it’s your turn to chime in. I’ve got three questions based on my advice. I want to see what you all think about my responses:

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Who should the neg guy get fucked by?

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If you're poz but undetectable, is it okay to tell a hookup you're actually neg?

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If your maternal grandmother was black but you look white and a hook-up says he doesn't like blacks, should you tell that hook-up you're part black?

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Check back again here for continued results as more people vote.

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Do you have a question you’d like Mark Bentson (aka iBLASTinside) to answer? Send a message to iBLASTinside@gmail.com mailbox_full or hit him up on his contact page Opens new window of a page on this blog.

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