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Virtual Words and a Vibration

iphone-in-a-pocket

Nothing more than the feel of vibration. The notion of an arrival of a text message. Your stomach gets a little knot. Could it be? Is it from?

No. Just a friend checking in.

Returning your iPhone to your pocket, it vibrates once. It’s just an e-mail. You relax. But then you think, it could be an e-mail from him. Naw. He’d text me. Not e-mail.

Still, it bugs the back of your mind until you check it later.

Finally, on a bathroom break, you send the obligatory, “How’s your day going?” message.

Not much communication during the day. Sporadic bursts of intense messages with long delays in between. Then that night-time, battery-draining flurry.

The night-time. That’s what you live for. That’s what you wait for. That’s what you wish for. That’s what you hope won’t stop.

For the day the vibration stops is the day you’re afraid he’s moved on to something more real. Something that’s not virtual. Something that won’t fit into a pocket. Something not cold, metal and plastic and glass.

Something flesh, warm and pliable.

And even then you’re afraid he’ll return to the promise of the other choices that are virtual and vibrational. The things not connected to you.

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May 2, 2012 1 Comment MarkBentson Short URL
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Like Every Queer, I’ve Got to Check Out the Gay Ghetto

greetings-from-the-castro

Yes. I must go. It is a pilgrimage we all must make.

This weekend, I will be in the Castro.

It is as if we are all drawn there at some point in our lives. This will be my point. I am going there. I hope to see some of you there. Or at least I hope someone wants to see me there… Brothers? Anyone for a Tweet-up?

* * *

Getting in touch with Mark is easy. Just visit the Contact page or check out the links on the top right of every page on this site…

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January 6, 2012 No Comments MarkBentson Short URL
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Reliable Massage Therapist Needed in Silicon Valley

massage0

Okay. All this traveling has my neck and back out of whack. I need a massage therapist. I’ll probably post something on Craigslist, which will net me the usual suspects. But you locals will know folks who are real and those who are good.

Yes, I’d love those who give happy endings. Yes, it would be nice if they’re really hot, with a terrific body and they massage nude or at least shirtless. But neither is a requirement.

What is a requirement is the ability to connect with another human being and get “in tune” with what’s going on. And they must be a massage therapist… a CMT (“certified massage therapist”) or LMT (“licensed massage therapist”) or at least well experienced. No hacks (“people tell me I’m really good”), escorts, porn stars or strippers (at least for this, although I don’t mind them for other fun… hint, hint!).

I’ve had two really good massage therapists in my life. One was a hottie who would totally get me off at the end of every session (grape seed oil always makes me think of him). The other was a straight man who almost screamed like a little girl if I happened to get hard under the towel.

Know one? Let me know.

* * *

Getting in touch with Mark is easy. Just visit the Contact page or check out the links on the top right of every page on this site…

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January 4, 2012 No Comments MarkBentson Short URL
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Big Bareback Birthday Blast Bash: Is Anyone Out There?

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Help make Mark’s birthday a little better while he’s out of work with a donation. Learn more about the gift-giving effort.


The big day is fast approaching. I find myself still struggling. Two invoices are out for freelance work and I have hope that one or both might make it in by next weekend to make my birthday weekend extra special. Right now, I’m cutting it close with $40.36 in the bank.

The biggest question with cash (or even without) is how to celebrate. I fuck ass. I went five-for-five last week and today already popped one in a nice Latin ass, so finding fuckable asses is easy. It’s getting a little more than that. I’d love to hang out with some folks, actually chat, have a few drinks, get to know and then fuck around. Group fun is always more enjoyable (and tagging with a couple of tops is a lot of fun).

Among my favorite places in town in Swinging Richards, where I’ll likely end up again this weekend at some point (would anyone around here meet me there?). Of course, the straight boy dancers there resist whatever advances I could make but, as I’ve discovered, I leave there a bit buzzed and horned.

It would be nice if Atlanta had another strip club with a bit more interesting action, but then again, the quality of the guys at Swinging Richards makes it worthwhile to make the trip and pay the extra cost.

I have heard rumor that a bareback porn is shooting is town this weekend, but can’t seem to get any confirmation of what studio or which performers might be around so my as-yet-unfulfilled fantasy of fucking and breeding a porn performer (it used to be porn star, but I might as well downgrade) will likely continue to elude me (fuck, I wished for it last year).

So I’m still sitting here wondering what to do for my birthday and no one has suggested anything at all. I’m just wondering if anyone is reading anymore?

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April 25, 2011 12 Comments MarkBentson Short URL
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11 Resolutions for 2011

2011-resolutions

2011 needs to be a better year. 2010 fucking sucked. From the very beginning, losing my Mother to the end of losing my job. The year was mostly made up of losing my mind. So I need to resolve to make 2011 better.

11. Quiet Moments, Yoga or Meditation or Some Shit Like That

It’s like this — my brain works at the speed of light, my mouth at the speed of sound, my body is slow as shit. I need to figure out a way to slow everything the fuck down. I need to train my mind to close down and float, quietly, relax. It seems even when I go to pee, I want to multi-task. I think while one hand holds my junk, the other should be checking e-mail. No more.

10. Fuck a Porn Star

I actually came close this year. I met a bottom who’s a friend with a bottom from a Treasure Island Media videos. Almost had him convinced for a three-way, but then I lost my job so I’m not going to be traveling back to his town again so I can fuck around with him and possibly his bud.

9. Time to Indulge My Photography Bug

My artistry has quieted long enough. I want to experiment with it more. Of course, I’m accepting volunteers.

8. Lose Inches on My Waist

I’m not about losing weight. I need to get some inches off my waist though. I recognize that. During 2010, I made some attempts at losing weight and actually did drop 15 pounds, but never really changed much in my build. I’m an average guy with average looks. I’ll never be a muscle guy and I’ll never have a perfect body — just not blessed by those genetics. But I can improve three or four inches. Maybe. Or better jeans. Which brings me to number seven.

7. Get me another pair of Diesel Jeans.

Damn I look good in them jeans. Even my ass looks good in them jeans. When my friend paid $180, I wondered what the fuck he was doing. Now I understand why.

6. Stress Less by Fucking More

Sometimes the build-up of sperm is toxic. We all need release. And nothing is a release like a good fuck. Enough said on that.

5. Time for a Tattoo

Wanted one for years. Need to get it. 2011.

4. Get My Friends Back or Get New Ones

Part of what happened with the bullying job thing is my friends who worked with me were bullied as well, told if they continued a relationship with me that they would lose their jobs as well. So I guess I need new friends or some other shit. It’s horribly painful to think that friends would allow that to happen to them, but it has. I wouldn’t let my workplace dictate who my friends are. But, I guess, that’s a little difference. And I really don’t know the level of threats either, so I can’t blame my friends for attempting to protect themselves and their livelihood.

3. Vacation, Yes

Kept putting off traveling since my bullying boss kept throwing work and meetings at me every time I scheduled vacation trips. But I am going to get a trip in somehow, somewhere in someway possible.

2. Write the Damn Book

I don’t care what the topic is, I will finish a book in 2011. In 2010, I started three. I just never finished any. Time to finish something, fucker.

1. A Job I Love

I won’t be bullied. I won’t take a job I don’t want. Nobody puts baby in a corner. This year is my year.

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January 1, 2011 5 Comments MarkBentson
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