Q&A: The Truth About “Safe” Fuckers and Forbidden Pleasures of Bare

Q&A: The Truth About “Safe” Fuckers and Forbidden Pleasures of Bare

A note from Mark: I received this as a comment from a reader. I thought it deserved to be an entire post as I addressed it.


letter-qI am an exclusive bottom guy who loves bareback sex and loves cum. I tend to be upfront about it and what I want.

What I find from the tops (who want it “safe”) is essentially the same as the bottoms who want it “safe.” They never have condoms but insist on using them. Interesting when I start by proposing to use condoms, responses to my posts seeking a top is ridiculously high.

Then they never want to use condoms when we actually fuck.

On the converse, when I specifically advertise for BB only, I get far fewer responses. So what the fuck?

Do the tops who want stealth really just looking to get off on deceiving someone? I can play that game if that is what works for you guys. You seem to be turned off by the direct “I want your bare cock and cum in my ass.” But yet if I pretend I want a condom on your cock, then I can suddenly get all the bare cock I want. any thoughts?


letter-aThe answer is more simple than it seems.

“I’ve never done this before.”

“I’m a virgin”

“Just this one time.”

“Just put in the tip.”

Tops prefer bareback and I’d propose three out of four men fuck without condoms. Truth is, even when I get hit up, someone will say “safe only” to me only to learn I’ll only bareback. At some point, the horny bottom will decide he wants it too much and will ask me not to cum in his ass.

In the end, he’ll go home with a load in his ass.

The tops want the appearance that they’re fucking a virginal asshole without the risk of any sexually transmitted infections. You see, the condom Nazi lobby generated this impression that all that is bareback means it’s disease.

If you’re a bare-loving top who hasn’t faced the facts about the risks you’re taking, you think if you get a condom-preferred bottom who lets you in his ass raw will reduce your chance of getting something “bad.”

Of course, nothing could be further from the truth.

Barebackers tend to be in tune with their bodies. They know their statuses with any such stuff.

Other than chasers and gift-givers, true barebackers are among the safest to fuck. But many would much rather pretend.

It’s got nothing to do with stealthing. It has everything to do with deceiving oneself.

So post your ads for both raw and wrapped. Or don’t specify. And then given the choice, most will choose raw. If not, that’s when the stealthing fuck begins.

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  1. I reread this post, and wanted to add another comment.

    I recall having a boyfriend who was HIV+. In fact, there was a period of time when he disliked me, because I thought I wanted nothing to do with him because he was HIV+. How he got this impression, I truly have no idea, as I have no problem having sex with a man who is HIV+.

    This boyfriend and I always had bareback sex. He was a total bottom and if I was not cumming in his ass (balls-deep, of course), I was cumming in his mouth, and he swallowed every drop.

    This was several years ago, and I remain HIV-. And the last time I was tested for HIV was Wednesday, September 24, 2014.

  2. Welcome to Atlanta. Now bend over.

  3. I only bareback, I’m a versatile bottom and my profile states that I only fuck/get fucked raw. When I lived in Tennessee, lots of times guys into “safe only” would reply to my ads, even after read my profile, they acted like there’ was no problem and we would hook up. The subject of condoms never came up and the top simply pushed his bare cock into the bottom’s ass and fucks like nothing was wrong. In some cases, the “safe only” acted relieved to find that the sex would be raw. Most of the time the top came inside the bottom’s ass but sometimes they would pull out and shoot on the outside of the ass, on the back, chest, face or in the bottom’s mouth. So far, having lived off and on in the Atlanta area since July and having moved here full time 2 weeks ago, I haven’t seen this problem—all who respond to my ads are openly into raw sex.

  4. Mark, you and your reader make very good points.

    Indeed, there are men with whom I have had sex that never mention condoms when I have them (sometimes in plain sight), and there are those that insist on condoms (and, so far, I remain committed to using them, if asked).

    Nonetheless, I have had similar experiences as this exclusive bottom. I recall exchanging messages with a guy on DaddyDater.com and when he asked me if I use condoms, I told him I did. However, although I do not recall the exact wording of my response, it led him to ask if I exclusively use condoms, and I told him that I do not, but that I use them, when asked.

    That led him to decide that he would not have sex with me, and reconfirmed that sometimes I AM too honest for my own good.

    Nonetheless, when no one is around, or available, I masturbate (sorry, Mark, I know how you feel about that; but between the fact that I AM Cuban, and a Capricorn, Sign of the Horny Goat, masturbation [especially often] is ideal for me to make sure that I do not get so horned up and backed up with my creamy, Cuban Cum, that I successfully refrain from raping another man, or two, or more, thereby staying out of jail).

    And yes, I do have a strong awareness of my body. There are times I simply know something is off, and these last few years, I have become even more aware of my body, and yes, I test often; in fact, last year, an HIV tester told me that I can get tested less often; first time I heard that!

    Mark, thanks for another great post, and to the exclusive bottom who inspired it, thanks to you, too.