Here's some ideas

A Message to the Safer Sex Community: Face the Fucking Reality of Bareback Sex

I’m on Scruff and 25-year-old cutie hits me up, basically begging me to fuck him.

It’s rare for that to happen. I’m two decades his senior. Of course, some young ones do chase older men. Usually this much enthusiasm can be attributed to men who recognize me as the writer of this blog. But several minutes into the conversation and nothing about my blog has come up.

After he’s hinting how much he wants his legs lifted into the air and he’s forwarded two photos of men fucking him — both using condoms. I finally cross into the territory of truth.

no bb ever. well, maybe

Even with the little “iBLASTinside” hint, the boy doesn’t connect the dots and, well, it’s a while before I point him to my blog.

He’s one of hundreds. The “safer” hoards who suddenly give up their convictions once they’re away from peer pressure.

Half of Gay Men Admit to Barebacking; The Other Half Lie

Recently, the gay press reported something like half of all gay men reported they barebacked.

The half that said they didn’t? Most of them lied.

I’ll even bet you that if the scientists conducted the study lined up the men with who fucked whom, they’d discover portions of men who had a sexual encounter and a portion would say they barebacked while the other half would say they were “safe.”

This wall of deniability exists. I’ve even seen it (and written about it). It’s not something so bold as stealthing Opens new window of a page on this blog.

I’ve had bottoms ask if I have condoms. I say yes. He comes over and ignores the condom. He just rides my cock. I don’t ask if I can cum inside. I just do.

Just Like the Right Wing & Abstinence

The AIDS and HIV education community have become just like religious conservatives are with sex education and their insistence that only one path exists: Abstinence. The right wing fails to face facts that teenagers will have sex and won’t promote birth control including the pill or condom use. Moreover, if a pregnancy happens to occur, one must carry that baby to term.

But the more progressive want to teach the straight youth of America how to minimize the risk of disease transmission and possible pregnancy.

Condom Nazis haven’t gone progressive at all. They see just one option. Use a condom. They can’t even fathom people refusing to wear the horrible plastic thing that deflates a hardon.

Look, let me make this perfectly clear.

No matter how many public service messages put out that say, “Safe sex is hot sex,” may work on the brain, but it’s not working on the cock.

People just don’t want to face the fact that barebacking is better than sex with a condom. As I compared it once, it’s like standard-definition versus high-definition television Opens new window of a page on this blog.

Reality Check

Men will fuck without condoms. Face it. Stop being judgmental. You can block the #BBBH hashtag Open-New-Window-External on Twitter or defriend them on Facebook, thinking that it’s alienating them. But it’s not. Barebacking is a movement that’s growing.

Again, half of all gay men admit to doing it and that means there’s more who do it. Bareback porn is growing faster than anything else out there.

We have to face these facts. Now let’s find a way to stem the tide of disease transmission while still letting men bareback if they so choose.

This is like handing out clean needles to drug users. It’s controversial. I get that.

But I am not stopping my barebacking. And I am watching hundreds of thousands of men who won’t either.

I’ve got some suggestions for over-the-counter products that should be developed and provided as an option to those who choose to bareback.

lightbulb_on Virus-Killing Lube

Like a spermicidal lubricant, this would be a lube meant to be deadly to HIV and Herpes. If used as lube, it’s a means to help kill any free-floating viruses that come into contact with it. Of course, it’s got to be mild enough for the intestinal lining to handle it but strong enough to kill those little microscopic bugs.

lightbulb_on Accordion Squeeze Bottle Virucidal Douche

Before and after the fuck, the bottom should douche with this mild concoction. Especially in combination with the lube, the more killing of any HIV or Herpes hanging around in the cum. I have a bottom friend who normally carries around an accordion squeeze bottle (like seen here to the right) that he uses after he’s bred to flush out the cum.

I know. There’s something romantic about the DNA staying inside the bottom. And I’ll admit that I like marking my territory.

But I’m coming up with a solution here and this is reasonable.

lightbulb_on Clear or Latex Paint Assliner

Transmission of HIV normally occurs through fissures in the lining of the intestinal walls.

This idea may reduce the sensation of the bottom so it could be bad idea, but like the latex paint people spread on the body or the invisible bandages, the bottom would put this into their ass to create a protective layer to help prevent any issues with the anal cavity.

lightbulb_on Plan B for HIV Available OTC

Plan B refers to the “day after” pill for women who might have gotten pregnant the night before. Because of the controversy around abortion, many jurisdictions and politicians believe life begins at conception. Plan B provides for pregnancy prevention by inhibition of ovulation Open-New-Window-External. In order to get Plan B, a doctor must prescribe it and, in certain jurisdictions, certain women require parental permission.

Likewise, it’s been found that taking antivirals following possible exposure to HIV will inhibit the transmission. Of course, one can go to one’s doctor and request a certain supply, which goes onto one’s insurance, which shows that the patient is participating in what insurance companies consider “high-risk behavior” and will potentially flag that patient from receiving insurance renewals and life insurance, among other benefits.

Creating an over-the-counter option, easily obtained from the pharmacist at a reasonable cost helps long-term and concerns.

A Final Note for Bug-Chasers and Gift-Givers

I am not denying the POZ community at all and those find eroticism in HIV, just as those who find pregnant women sexy. Please.

I’m not advocating or condemning bug-chasing Open-New-Window-External and/or gift-giving Open-New-Window-External.

But what has been obvious to me for far too long just keeps slipping through the mental grasp of those on the other side of this issue. I fear a backlash is coming of gay right-wing hatred, like a Tea Party within our own progressive ranks that would make for radicalization and fractures well beyond what we want to see.

This “no compromise” attitude that’s gridlocked the U.S. government concerns me. I’ve seen it in my own life as I approached GLBT legal groups with my firing for being gay only to be told that they were much too busy focusing on the marriage rights fight to worry about a man fired to being gay. It’s as if the gay rights movement worries more about eating wedding cake than putting food on the table.

I don’t want this to happen to sexual politics.

For those who wish to bareback but don’t wish to chase, here’s some options to protect themselves. It’s as simple as that.

What people are searching to find this page::

  • tumblr gay bareback stealth (1)
If you liked this, you also might like one of these...

4 Comments

Cancel

  1. Another interesting article but I am a little sceptical about your stats on barebacking (50% do and the other 50% lie). Many people do bare in their relationship and have safer sex outside as Neptune has mentioned. In addition, many men may bareback on occasion but not all the time. So while 50% may have barebacked, they do not do so regularly. A recent internet survey of over 3600 men (in EU) showed that just over 10% had bare sex during last encounter, some of whom wouldn’t have been in relationships. So whil I have no doubt that there is some truth in your statement about the 50%, taking this at face value may be erroneous.

    I also love watching bareback porn and sales have boomed. But once again, this needs to be unpackaged. Just because someone watches bareback doesn’t mean they will do it. Porn is primarily about fantasy. Condoms ruin fantasy. We all watch types of porn that we will never engage with. Indeed, I have watched straight porn. Does that mean I suddenly want to fuck women? NO!! So while guys may be watching bareback porn does not mean they are automatically doing it.

  2. I don’t know that half admit they bareback and the other half lie” is really true. Or maybe I should say it strikes me as an oversimplification of most gay men’s sexual history. Like mine for example. When I was single, I almost always fucked or got fucked with a condom. Keyword almost. There were a few occasions I went bare. I’ve been with my partner for 10+ years, and we’re non-monogamous. We don’t use condoms with each other, but we always, always use them with any “special guest stars”. So what could we admit to? Are we half barebackers? 🙂 Who knows. But I do think a lot more men are willing to go bare with very little convincing than are ready to admit it.

  3. I agree wholeheartedly.

    I have been a barebacker since I first slept with a guy when I was 19. I am now 34 and still going at it raw both as a top and a bottom. By some miracle I have never had an STD other than a case of warts ONCE many years ago.

    One thing that I find interesting (and remember, I have been barebacking since 1998) is that all of those condom Nazi friends back when I was in my twenties all seem to be poz now. Hmmmm….Not sure how that happened…

    And honestly, I have never even serosorted. I have just done what has felt right to me.

    I am glad that there are guys like you out there standing up for those of us who chose not to tow the line on condom use.

    It’s really no one’s business but the individual’s that are going at it.

    Anecdotally, it seems to me that its safer to have sex raw with a poz guy who is undetectable that to fuck with someone who claims to be negative (and “always” uses protection, but will make this “one” exception).

    Furthermore, you are correct in asserting that the number of guys barebacking is increasing exponentially; I remember when it was much harder to get a hookup raw than it is today. Hell, I have 18-year-old men throwing themselves at me wanting it raw nowadays.

  4. Some lovely ideas for new technologies that could prevent the transmission of HIV, but sadly none of them currently viable in the foreseeable future – and not only for technological reasons.

    Preventative courses of medication that you take after having bareback sex with HIV do actually exist – but they’re long courses of medication, courses that aren’t viable to be taken regularly.

    Plus, no doubt bareback fuckers will take an equal disdain to these anti-hiv preventatives as they have condoms. Things wouldn’t change with these.

    “I like it raw – no lube!” “Douching with virucide isn’t sexy!” “I want to feel your cock without any latex lining, it’s just like an internal condom!”

    There’s something romantic about HIV to bareback fuckers, as proven by their hatred of serosorting.

    No, in truth, the best course of action is to make HIV medication free and easily accessible to everyone – people hate the method of prevention of HIV (condoms) but have no problem in the chemotherapy that comes with it (antiviral drugs).