Looking back on 2011, let us just say that the year that was is a year I would gladly not repeat. But I did give myself 11 Resolutions for the year and, actually, I’m surprised that I accomplished a few of them.
A resolution, it seems, is like monogamy — a vow meant to be broken. So let’s see how I did:
11. Quiet Moments, Yoga or Some Shit Like That
Nope. Never happened. At least yoga didn’t. 0 for 1.
10. Fuck a Porn Star
No. I fucked a friend of a porn star but not a porn star yet. 0 for 2. Not looking good.
9. Indulge My Photography Bug.
Third strike. Nope. I tried but couldn’t get anyone decent looking to pose for me. All the volunteers were ass-ugly. 0 for 3.
8. Lose Inches on My Waist.
Finally, something I have done. Lost four of those! Does it count as four? Alas, nope.
Of course, that hottie of a tragically straight trainer and his incredible body helped me too much to achieve that. But his motivation didn’t last and I’ve stopped going to him because it’s a little inconvenient right now.
I’m 1 for 4.
7. Get Me Another Pair of Diesel Jeans.
A stupid resolution since now that I’m not a full-figured gal anymore, the jeans I have don’t fit all that well and I’ve abandoned the Diesels I already have. I’m not counting this one.
6. Stress Less by Fucking More.
I’m going to give myself a YEEE-HAW and yessirree on that one. Despite some dry spells (and an abortive experience in Northern California, Days 1, 2, 3 and 4), I’ve bred more than 150 asses this year. That’s a good year.
That puts me 2 for 5.
5. Tattoo Time…
I didn’t get one. Not quite yet… 2 for 6.
4. Getting Friends Back or Getting New Ones.
Later in the year, when I was trying to get one of those friends back, I realized I didn’t need him.
In general, the friend situation hasn’t changed. 2 for 7.
Done. Had a good one. 3 for 8.
2. Write a Damn Book.
Nope. I made a little headway on a couple of them, but I never finished. 3 for 9.
1. Get a Job I Love.
Mission accomplished, just days to spare. 4 for 10.
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