Good Top, Bad Top, Evil Top, Glad Top

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Morality is a funny thing. I’m so used to being told that I’m bad, evil and going to hell by the radical right, it just seems to roll off me like I’m coated in Rain-X and it’s a light shower. It doesn’t even bother me. So when some members of the Gay community — even barebackers with their own questionable place to stand on a position of greater morality — begin to question whether I might be “good” or “bad,” one is left with a little Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged in your soul.

Sometimes I feel like the slut about to be stoned.

Nonetheless, it’s not anything like the OTHER 99 PERCENT or a goodly chunk of the unemployed — of which I am one. We attempt to find work, fill out countless forms online, write, rewrite, rewrite, recast, alter, edit, reformat, update and rewrite our resumes again only to go on job interviews that look promising then some fucktard in the 1 percent decides his gold parachute needs more diamonds and platinum encrusting so he decides to announce a hiring freeze.

Sex is one of those things in which we have completely under our control. It’s not the color of our skin, our birthplace or luck. Sex isn’t a roll of the die. It is a choice whether we engage with a stranger or date for a time.

We have to remove the morality from fucking. It just simply doesn’t work. What does is personal accountability. Now you can run to a dictionary and splice terms with me but I’ll give you my basic lesson difference between responsibility and accountability.

Responsibility is being able to answer for one’s conduct and obligations to another person, group or entity.

Accountability is being able to answer for one’s conduct and obligations to oneself. 

We need not rely on anyone else. The choices are our own. With sex, you are accountable only to oneself.

If you’re fucked up enough to turn your back on someone holding a loaded gun who swears they won’t fire it into your backside, then you need to have your head examined.

Hate me if you want, but there’s a lesson to be learned here. Better you read and learn than fuck and regret.

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7 Comments on "Good Top, Bad Top, Evil Top, Glad Top"

  1. MarkBentson says:

    Robert,

    You “vehemently disagree” that bottoms are good for more than being a cum dumpster? For what then? Emotional connections? Conversation? Cleaning house? Walking the dog?

    Seriously, the problem with most bottoms is they think they’ve got something amazing to offer. While sometimes I do find a worthwhile bottom who can actually string together a whole subject-verb-direct object combination and successfully add a couple of adjectives and adverbs. Fuck, one might even make a complex sentence. But in the end, they get it in the end.

    There’s this little twink who lives about 10 miles north of me. I live in BFE (Bum-Fuck Egypt), so imagine how far away from civilization he is. I’ve fucked him a couple of times, so he knows I’m good. And he also knows it takes a 50-mile drive for him to find decent cock.

    The other day, he decided to make some demands on me and I told him to fuck off. Atlanta is a town of bottoms surrounded by more bottoms with a smattering of tops. If he thinks he’s going to insist I stand on my head and sing “Yankee Doodle Dandy” for his ass, he’s got another thing coming.

    I’m surrounded by ass. While his is one of the sweeter sets (because it’s tighter and, well, he’s a little more toned than the redneck married men out my way), I don’t mind breeding the others who can sneak away from their wives. While he has to search for tops (and he ended up begging me), I get to be picky about the ass I breed.

    A bottom must learn he’s little more than a jerkoff hole for tops. Only then can a top begin to train a bottom to properly take cock and cum.

    Mark

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  2. I have said for years that sometimes people shall receive the worst treatment from their own. In my life, I have received the most amount of hate from fellow Cubans (or other Latinos), Gay Men and other professional Psychics.

    The fact that I AM also Cuban a Gay Man and a professional Psychic is no coincidence.

    Mark, alas, some of our fellow Gay Men and even our fellow barebackers can be cruel is not a surprise to me. And I AM glad you have a thick skin. I miss mine, perhaps I shall recover it from continuing to read your blog.

    Although I must vehemently disagree with you that bottoms are good for more than opening up their holes and accepting cum.

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  3. Martin says:

    “Morality is a funny thing.”

    Dear Mark. In my humble opinion you are – despite your obvious intelligence – one of the (majority, really, of) people who don’t get the difference between morality and ethics. Because the question of stealthing is NOT a moral one, it’s an ethical one.

    Let me explain: Morality is about what OTHER people think, its about how the world judges you. Its the substance of right-wing talk radio. Morality is often the guide of weak minds who have no concept of ethics.

    Being ethical on the other hand is about doing what’s right (regardless of what a majority of people thinks). It’s the idea of accumulating good karma (or call it psychological wellbeing if you’re not into that esoteric stuff) by doing the right thing. One of the standards by which to judge if an action is “good” is the question: Would I want it done to myself? If the affected party doesn’t want something or it is implied from the context / his behaviour that he doesn’t, and you yourself would in the same situation want to have the choice, it’s probably not ethical.

    The very fact that you yourself want to bareback when the other guy wants to use condoms, means that that very choice is important to you yourself. By denying someone else a choice that you yourself value a lot, you deny him the very basic human respect everybody deserves: the right to live life as he damn well pleases.

    You write about how YOU were abused as a child, how someone else ruthlessly put his desires above your wishes / needs. By advocating the right to disregard others, you are not in opposition to the morality crowd, in fact, in one very important aspect you are the same: You think you know better.

    One can live a completely “amoral” life, being gay, poz, have group sex whatever, and yet be ethical. The key to true joy (and that goes for enjoyment of sexual activities as well) is being right with world and doing right by others, even when barebacking. Not everyone reaches such lofty levels of enlightenment, true.

    But the farther one goes from that, the more sex becomes just a sad exercise in addiction, the need to control others because one has lost control over oneself.

    I am not telling you how to live your life. I wouldn’t even force happiness on you. All I am saying is: If man is a wolf to his fellow man, then that is all he will be, he will enjoy things a as wolf does: driven by craving, not as a self-actualized human being.

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  4. MarkBentson says:

    Rob, The post of which you speak does indeed show my cock. And whether or not if being a bottom or versatile would make a difference, I don’t know. However, at some point I believe as a bottom I would need to accept my lot in life and open my ass up and accept cum into my hole, as bottoms are good for pretty much that and not much else. -M

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  5. MarkBentson says:

    Pedro, I’m quite aware of the quote of which you speak. But here’s a nice twist to consider. What if the person invites you to strike their nose? Essentially, fucking them is that invitation. You can argue nuances — with or without rubber — but the face hitting is uninvited. That is the distinct difference. -M

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  6. rob says:

    Although I don’t agree with some of things you write about here, it sounds like you’re getting back to yourself: it’s about time, and the heck what everybody else thinks! Question for you (and I don’t mean this as a challenge, I’m honestly interested in your answer). Do you think your answer re stealthing would be different if you were vers, or btm? As a top, your chances of “catching” anything serious are negligible, but in other circumstances the results might be different, so I’m just wondering if that’s a factor?
    And P.S. that picture (http://iblastinside.com/2011/09/18/) …pretty damn impressive!

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  7. Pedro says:

    There’s a known quote that I think is relevant to this argument: “the right to swing my fist ends where the other man’s nose begins”. Whilst I appreciate your responsibility vs accountability review, we are not alone in the world and that means that respect for others, even stupid others, should prevail.

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