Sometimes when you visit an adult book store or bathhouse or gay sex club, you strike out. It’s slow, a place full of attitude and lackluster people. Here’s a few more tips, as a companion to my previous pieces on Bathhouses and Gloryhole Etiquette to help out on dry days. More than anything, it takes patience but here’s more to help you out.
Notify the world before you’re going
I usually put a post on Craigslist and a bareback site or two that I’m headed to get some action. ALWAYS include a photo. I make it easier by putting out my phone number to text me.
You may be worried about this so consider a disposable phone or get a Google Voice number (http://google.com/voice) attached to your number. Problem with the Google Voice number: Can’t send or receive images. But it will allow you to hide your identity.
The other great reason to do this is you’ll get a lot of responses from people close by who will make offers but won’t meet you there. They’re your back-up plans if you don’t get what you want.
Make eye contact
You can always say “no thanks” later if you’re not into the guy, but eye contact is the key to getting action. People don’t always go alone, so you might be able to work up the chain from one mediocre looking guy to his better-looking friend or lover.
Hide for a while
There’s nothing worse than the same tired people wandering around and looking desperate. Go to a room or booth or somewhere and stay for 30 minutes to an hour. Don’t leave Don’t move. If you’re in a public area, just hang, relax and watch the world go by. Even if you see something of interest, DO NOT PURSUE (he’ll come back for you if he’s interested).
After a while, you get back up and wander around. You’ll have a fresh crowd. It’s even better if the place offers in-out privileges (most places don’t) and you can take a break.
Remember the best times to wander. Around lunch (11:30 a.m. to 2 p.m.), after work (4:30 p.m. to 7 p.m.) and after the bars close (your cities vary).
Pay attention to local events
I’m in Atlanta. I know when the Braves, Falcons, Georgia Tech, Hawks or Thrashers have a home game. I am more likely to get butch, horny guys after those events end.
The places will also be crowded after major gay-attracting events like a Lady Gaga concert or Kathy Griffin stand-up (bottoms! yay!).
Bring your own companion
Look, I am not a hot enchilada on my own. I’ve got a respectable size cock and on a scale of 1 to 10, I know I’m in the average area. So I have a couple of bottom and versatile friends, equally the same (slightly better looking in a couple of cases) and we buddy up. If we’re both striking out, we will start fooling around with each other in a room or booth.
THIS ATTRACTS ATTENTION. It has a multiplying effect. We’re not really there for each other. He’s had my loads numerous times. He wants others. So when I start fucking around with him, it’s a ruse to get others involved. If I’m a six (being generous) and he’s a seven, we don’t look like the average of 6½. We look more like an 8 to the people there, being there’s an exponential gain, especially since we’ll be playing bareback.
My job is not to occupy his hole but to offer it up to others. His job is to identify bottoms for me to fuck as well. It takes trust in one another and no egos.
Learn the Rhythms
Every city and every place has its own rhythms. I can tell you that Wednesdays in Atlanta will always suck, no matter what I do to try and minimize that. You have to invest the time and effort to figure out what works best for your city and your places. Ask people. Ask online. Try it out on your own.
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