Dear “Straight” Guy

Dear “Straight” Guy,

Today I explained my theory of how men break down into different groups. In fact, I explained the groups to you and outlined them in brief detail.

While we spoke, I didn’t go into a lot of details, but I did explain how Six-Pack Queers will suck dick when drunk and how Straight Bottoms enjoy getting fucked by the “real thing.”

You asked me what you were. I explained how you were a “True Straight” and you didn’t show up on my Doppler Gaydar.

I must apologize. I lied.

Sincerely,

P.S. Good luck with the whole “Straight” thing. You’re going to need it.

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